The Shadowglass (The Bone Witch, #3)(22)

I’m no different than Illara. I’m no different.

But the words froze in my throat, refusing to give the thoughts a voice. I was selfish and frightened, and did not want to let him go.

Kalen pressed his lips against mine, and I held on for dear life. “Always.”

No other dreams haunted me for the rest of the night.

? ? ?

“Hold still,” Kalen told me the next morning as he wove Calm on me.

Given the power asha had at their disposal, it was easy to overlook the passive runes. I often did, and somewhere in the back of my mind, I could hear my old fighting instructor, Lady Hami, berating me.

I closed my eyes as he centered the rune around my heartsglass, working it into complicated weaves so the effects would last longer. Almost immediately, I felt lighter, stress leaching out of my pores. The rune didn’t mean freedom from all my burdens, but the load grew more tolerable.

I was a reluctant recipient. Calm took strength away from its caster, though Kalen, true to form, showed no signs of exhaustion. “Only for now,” I told him. “You can’t do this all the time.”

“I’ll pace myself. How are you feeling?”

“A lot better than last night.” Bathed in the sanity of daylight, it felt like my emotions had been organized into neat catalogs, tucked away into the bookcases of my mind. “Kalen, why didn’t your or Likh’s runes work on me last night? Was it something I did?”

Kalen frowned. “Dark asha aren’t generally able to deflect runes without raising some protection to take the blow. Althy can check you over once we return, and I’m sure Mykaela can figure out something.”

“I’m scared. Mykaela never had this problem.”

He sighed. “There’re a few things you can do that Mykaela can’t, Tea. And I suspect that might be one of the reasons for your differences.”

It hit me then, what he was trying to say. “Is it the azi? You think my connection with the azi is making me crazy?”

“You’re not crazy,” Kalen was firm. “But I don’t think asha are supposed to be in contact with those creatures for prolonged durations, especially when they’re in your head. I don’t know how Sakmeet managed it. It seemed to prolong her life, but given the manner in which she died, out there in the snow with no protection…it worries me. I don’t know what Althy or Mykaela are going to decide, but I think they’re going to ask you to disengage from the daeva, Tea, no matter how fond it is of you or you of it. It’s too risky, and this is still unknown territory.”

“I’m not going to kill it,” I was quick to argue, though he made sense. “The azi has hidden itself from us all these years, and the only reason it started attacking Kion was because of Aenah’s control. I know it won’t harm anyone else, even without me in charge.”

“But what if someone else gets ahold of it? Druj is still out there, and I don’t know how many more followers Aenah and Usij have left.”

“I hate it when you’re right.” I paused, surprised at how sad I felt. The azi had stopped feeling like a weapon to wield a long time ago. I knew it was inevitable, but… “If you think it’s for the best.”

He smiled at me. “In another life, you would be fighting me tooth and nail.”

“I’m blaming you and this blasted rune.” My heartsglass was clear again this morning, but I no longer trusted its hue. “And I’m going to tell Fox too. About the black in my heartsglass.”

He nodded. “I was wondering when you would.”

“He’s with Inessa. I didn’t want to put him in the middle.” I took a deep breath. “But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t tell him when we return.”

“I should cast this spell more often,” he teased. “You’re adorable when you’re mad, but you’re even more so when you agree with me.”

I took his hand and pressed it against my lips. “What if that’s not enough?” I whispered. “What if something else is making me do this?”

“Then we’ll push it out, eradicate it. There are many people back home wanting to help you.” He smiled. “And I won’t make the same mistake I did last night. I’m sticking close to you for the long term.”

“How awful,” I said, tugging his head down into a kiss.

? ? ?

The Calming rune was enough to keep me placid when it came time to kill poor Garindor’s assistant. King Rendorvik had tried to convince the old man not to attend, but the latter was adamant. “Yarrod’s a good lad and a hard worker. The least I can do is to be there for him till the very end.”

Kalen had volunteered to do the deed, arguing it would be too dangerous for the king to carry out the execution, given the prisoner’s condition. His blade was quick and sharp, and the grotesque mantis-like daeva died instantly and without further pain.

King Rendorvik ordered full honors for his burial. “You would not have come all the way here if your work wasn’t important,” he said, “I appreciate your offer to stay for the funeral, but it will take time that you don’t have.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty,” Althy said, grateful. “I only wish we could do more.”

“You can help by finding the madman responsible, Lady Altaecia.”