The Secrets We Keep(6)

Josh caught Keith’s look and clarified. “This is Ella,” he said. “We’re trying to find Maddy.”

“Ha! Well, that explains why she looks like crap,” Keith said as he walked away, not offering to help.

I glanced down at myself, thought maybe I was wearing mismatched shoes or had a big pizza stain on my sweatshirt. I had on an old pair of jeans, a plain gray hoodie, and an equally dull jacket, and nothing was grossly wrong with any of them. Sneakers matched, too, so maybe it was my hair. I’d quickly tossed it into a ponytail before I left, then tucked it up under my hat. Perhaps I should have actually brushed it.

Josh caught my hand as I went to smooth my hair. “You look fine. He’s just being a jerk.”

Not wanting Josh to know how much the drunk kid’s comments hurt, I tried for a smile. I doubted I had pulled it off.

“I wasn’t lying, you look fine,” Josh said again. “You always do.”

I shook my head and watched as Keith stopped a few feet away and bent down to whisper something into a girl’s ear. She turned around, her gaze raking over me. Crap, Jenna.

She walked over, a beer in one hand and the drunk kid’s hand locked in the other. The disgusted scowl she reserved for me was firmly in place. “What are you doing here?” Jenna asked. “I strongly doubt you are on the guest list.”

“Where’s Maddy?” I asked, ignoring her comment.

“She’s gonna flip when she finds out you’re here. God, it is bad enough she has to deal with you at school, but here…” She shook her head and trailed off, unable to find the exact words to describe her hatred of me.

“Whatever. Where’s Maddy?”

I followed Jenna’s eyes to the ceiling and groaned. It would be exactly like my sister to call me in a tizzy, then suck down two more beers and forget about everything. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Jenna giggled, her hand playing with the blond hair at the back of the drunk kid’s neck. She was amazing, could go from mean girl to flirt at a staggeringly impressive speed. Yeah … me, I didn’t find it amusing.

“You want to check upstairs?” Josh asked, motioning toward the stairs.

“Uh … no,” I said, remembering the one time I walked into Maddy’s room unannounced to retrieve the calculator she’d “borrowed” from me. Mom was out at book club and Dad still wasn’t home from work, otherwise I doubt Alex would’ve even set foot in Maddy’s room. Dad made sure both Alex and Maddy knew the rule—no boys upstairs if my parents weren’t home and even when they were, the door had to stay open. Wide open. That night the door was closed, and I got more of a view of Alex than I ever wanted.

“Let’s look outside. If she’s not there, I’ll check upstairs,” Josh said.

I nodded my thanks and followed Josh onto the deck. What the house lacked on the inside, it made up for out here. It was quiet, the huge lawn sloping down toward the lake. I could see a shape I thought was a dock, but without a light, I couldn’t be sure.

But what I could see clearly were two Adirondack chairs off to the side of the deck stairs. And if my eyes were right, someone was sitting in one of them.

“Maddy?” I said as I approached. She was huddled into herself, curled up in a ball, her shoes dangling from her hands.

“Maddy?” I repeated, shaking her gently. I’d never seen her like this—quiet and distant—and it was beginning to freak me out. “What’s wrong?”

She looked up, and the fear that had struck me when I first saw her had nothing on the pain that lanced my heart now. The tears I’d heard on the phone were still there, streaming down her face as she struggled to compose herself. From the looks of it, she’d been sobbing long and hard, hidden away back here.

I shot Josh a glance, hoping he could fill me in. He’d been here the whole time, was sleeping under the same roof as Alex. He had to have some idea as to what was going on.

Josh shrugged, hunched down in front of my sister, and stared into her eyes. He waited a second for Maddy to silently acknowledge him before asking, “Where’s Alex?”

“Inside.” She hiccuped.

“Do you want me to get him?”

“No,” she said, and stood up.

She was soaking wet and shaking, her lips nearly blue. From the dampness of the grass and the puddle next to the deck, I gathered it had rained here, too. And by the looks of it, Maddy had been sitting outside, alone, when it happened.

I doubted she was drunk. She got up without any help and didn’t seem to have a problem following my questions. She didn’t stumble or cover her mouth and swallow down beer-tinged bile threatening to come up. I knew what drunk Maddy looked like, and this wasn’t it.

My guess was that the glaze covering her eyes was from her tears and nothing more. “What’s going on?” I asked.

She stared at me for a long minute, then shook her head. “Nothing. Can we go?”

I had a thousand questions for her, but I knew she wouldn’t answer any of them. I thought about searching each room of the house until I found Alex and asking him what was going on. Somehow I didn’t think that would help. If Maddy didn’t want me to know, then she wouldn’t tell me. I’d hear about it on Monday at school, then get a completely different version of the story the following day. By the end of the week, I’d have fifteen versions of “What Happened to Maddy Lawton?” to sift through. But before I listened to any of them, I wanted the real story from her.