The Savage Grace: A Dark Divine Novel(36)

I didn’t back away, but I couldn’t look him in the eyes. I was too afraid of what I might see. “Answer my question. Did. You. Do. It?”

“Would I have come back here if I did?”

“You tell me. What happened last night?”

“I went straight to the city, looked in on Dad, and then came right back here. I didn’t talk to anyone—and certainly didn’t kill anyone—while I was gone. I was back here by eleven.” He jabbed his finger at the little TV Dad had set up in the cell for him. “I can reenact the late Show for you if you want. That actor April is always going on about did a tap dance on the host’s desk and accidentally kicked a coffee mug onto a supermodel. It was a real riot,” he said with a bitter bite in his voice.

I let go of the bars. “I just needed to know.”

“Nice, Grace. I’ve been back for over a week, and the first time you come to see me, you accuse me of murder. When Daniel was back for that same amount of time, you were trying to kiss him. I’m glad to know where I stand with you.”

His words were so true they stung like a fresh slap. I stepped back from the gate. “Jude, I’m—”

“Get out,” he snarled.

“Jude, please.”

“Get out of here!” he screamed, and slammed both of his hands against the gate. The hinges groaned. “Don’t come back here again. If you think I’m such a wild animal, then you’d better keep the hell away from me.”

“Jude—”

“Out!” he roared, looking like he was about to tear down the gate.

I stumbled back toward the stairs and scrambled my way back up to the foyer.

JUST AFTER SUNRISE

I sat on the steps outside the parish, watching the sun silently change the sky above the hills of Rose Crest from a purple-gray into a crisp bright yellow that contrasted starkly with my black mood. I hated myself for jumping to such a terrible conclusion about Jude.

So much for trying to make peace.

Only I knew that I would be immensely stupid for not suspecting him right off—especially if he really did turn out to be the killer.…

Gah! There I went again.

It had to mean something that he’d come back after being let out last night.

Perfect alibi, whispered the wolf.

And what did it mean that all this time he could have ripped off the gate and escaped—yet he allowed himself to be locked up?

He’s fooling you.

Urgh. I clasped the moonstone pendant in my fingers and pushed the wolf’s voice from my mind.

If it hadn’t been for that terrible dream last night—reliving the night Jude fell to the werewolf curse—making me so paranoid in the first place, I might have been able to be more rational before storming in on him with my accusations.

What was the point of that dream anyway?

Why would my subconscious—or Daniel, or whoever or whatever was trying to communicate with me through my REM cycle—want me to relive what happened that night on the roof of the parish?

Maybe god really is punishing me.…

Or perhaps Daniel was still desperately trying to tell me to look for the moonstone in the parish yard. He didn’t know that I already had it. That it hung from my neck now.

But it was clear I wasn’t ready to use it.

The anger I’d felt last night—the way I’d wanted to lash out at my own mother, and the damage I’d wanted to inflict on Talbot when I learned of his deceit—scared me. It was consuming me the way Gabriel said it would—and I’d unleashed it once again on my own brother just now.

I was driving everyone away from me.

I pressed the moonstone pendant tight in my palm. I might even still lose Daniel before I was able to change him back.

Perhaps I really would end up all alone with the just the wolf inside my head.





Chapter Fourteen


WANDERER


LATER

I didn’t know what to do with myself now. It was a school day, but I couldn’t bear the thought of sitting through classes or talking with friends who felt more like strangers with each passing moment. Instead, I spent the next few hours wandering from place to place like a stray pup looking for shelter. I remember going home to shower and change. Then somehow I was in the driveway of Maryanne Duke’s old house. Then I was standing in the concrete stairwell that led to the basement apartment where Daniel had lived until he’d taken to the forest. I must have stood there long enough to look lost, because Zach poked his head out one of the main floor windows, almost scaring me half to death, and asked if I was okay.

“Yeah,” I said. “Will a couple of you go sit with Jude? We had a run-in, and I don’t think he should be alone.”

“Sure thing,” Zach said. He almost looked happy to have an order, reminding me that his former alpha had treated him like a soldier instead of a boy.

I slowly walked down the steps and unlocked the old yellow door to Daniel’s apartment. I stood in the middle of his room for a few minutes, soaking in the fading scent of him there. I willed my hands and feet to move again, and I picked up a few of his notebooks from his desk, and found his half-filled-out Trenton application neatly stored in its envelope. I took that and his beat-up laptop, and stuffed them into the satchel bag I’d brought along. Next, I sorted through the stacks of Masonite boards and stretched canvas that leaned against his wall, choosing the best of his paintings and designs. I hoped they’d be the same ones he would have chosen for his Trenton portfolio. My chest felt so tight as I pulled the apartment door closed behind me when I left, thinking about how the things I took with me would be the only traces of Daniel’s human side left in this world if I failed to change him back.