The Savage Grace: A Dark Divine Novel(29)

And I have something more important to do now, I thought as I patted the moonstone in my pocket, just to reassure myself that it was still there.

As April went out the front door, Gabriel beckoned me to the table. The sketchbook I didn’t recognize sat in front of him, and he clenched a charcoal pencil in a white-knuckled grasp. I wanted to tell him that I didn’t have time to talk—that I needed to focus all my energy on figuring out how to use the moonstone to bring Daniel back now that I had it—but the grave look in Gabriel’s eyes, and the way April had bugged out of here, told me that whatever he had to say was serious. And honestly, I still didn’t know if I was ready to trust anyone else with the truth that I had the moonstone.

I pulled up a kitchen chair and sat next to Gabriel.

“First of all, I’m sorry,” he said. “As your father’s junior pastor, it should have been my responsibility to address his parishioners outside. However, considering the circumstances, I did not think it was wise with all of this.” He indicated the bandage on his face that covered the cut that had reopened during our failed healing session, and the bruises that painted his jaw. It had been a couple of hours since I saw him last, but they looked just as dark and painful. I wondered how long they would take to heal.

“I am the one who is sorry. I was just so desperate to help my dad. I should have known I wasn’t ready.”

“It is my fault. I should have been aware of how much anger you’re holding inside of you.”

I stared at him.

“Are you familiar with the story of the unmerciful servant?”

I really wasn’t in the mood for a Bible story, but I could tell Gabriel’s mind was set, so I nodded my head.

“Then you know that a merciful king forgave his servant’s great debt when he could not pay. But when that same servant went to collect a lesser debt from a fellow countryman, and found that he could not pay, the servant was angry and threw him into prison. When the king heard of this, he was wrothful with the servant for not showing the same compassion he had been shown, and the king threw the servant into debtors’ prison as well.”

“I’m not sure what that has to do with anything right now,” I said, with more frustration than I had intended.

“You are so full of anger, Grace. I could feel it when we were connected. All that anger swirling inside of you—it will eat you alive if you do not deal with it. It is a power just as strong as love. You channeled it instead of your positive energy. It is like letting your inner wolf attack somebody else—but from the inside. That is what caused this.” He indicated his damaged face. “You reopened my wounds. I just hope I took the brunt of the attack, and not your father.”

I dropped my head. So I was the reason those monitors went off in Dad’s hospital room. “You mean, I can hurt people—literally—with my anger?” I clasped my hands together. They felt like dangerous weapons.

“Not as much as you can hurt yourself. We have discussed this before, but the wolf inside of you feeds on your negative emotions. You must recognize your anger and get rid of it before you give your wolf more power. I know you are strong enough to withstand an attack from the outside—you proved that in the warehouse. Yet letting the wolf attack you from the inside is much more insidious.” He picked at the bandage on his face. “Tell me, Grace, who are you angry with?”

“I don’t know. No one.” That wasn’t true. “Everyone.” They’ve all let you down, and now he’s giving you a lecture? I concentrated on the stone in my pocket to help regain some control. “I’m angry at my father for not letting me go to the warehouse and insisting that he go instead. I’m angry at Talbot for letting Dad get hurt, and for being a lying son of a…” I let the sentence drop off.

“But your anger runs deeper than that. The anger I felt in you stemmed from before today.” Gabriel took a deep breath and looked me right in the eyes. “Are you angry with Daniel?”

“No.”

“Are you sure about that? It would be easy to resent him.”

“Resent him? How could I be angry with someone who sacrificed everything for me? He was the one who was supposed to get away. I made him promise to escape the warehouse if he got the chance, but instead he tried to save me. How can I resent him for not being here?”

And there it was, just under the surface. All Gabriel had to do was scratch at it, and it came oozing up, like blood from a scab. I was angry with Daniel. Part of me resented him for not being here. He was the one who had left me alone. He should have been with me in the hospital today, wrapping his arms around me, reassuring me that my father was going to be okay. It was irrational, I know. He couldn’t control the fact that he wasn’t there.

Your father wouldn’t have gone to the warehouse if Daniel were here. It’s his fault your father got hurt.

Hell.

I knew it was the wolf who had said it, but only because it had uncovered the idea buried deep inside my subconscious. How could I have thought something so terrible? Tears pricked at the backs of my eyes.

“Why am I so angry at him? It isn’t right. He sacrificed everything for me.”

“Because he was not supposed to sacrifice himself for you. He was not supposed to try to save you.”

“I made him promise to escape if he had the chance. He was supposed to let me die so he could save himself and my family. But he broke that promise. He threw himself over that balcony to save me, and he was turned into the white wolf.”