The Savage Grace: A Dark Divine Novel(111)

Today we should have been hosting Jude’s nineteenth birthday party; instead, we were hosting his wake.

I’d come outside to escape for a few minutes. I’d retold the lie so many times I had almost started to believe that false story myself. But I didn’t want to forget the truth. I wanted the pain of it, mixed with the icy stabbing of the night’s air, to keep me feeling alive and awake.

Two things I knew Jude wasn’t anymore.

Part of me had hoped that he’d rise again, like Daniel had when I’d cured him last year. But really, deep down, I’d known he wouldn’t. Killing Jude hadn’t been an ultimate sacrifice the way it had been for Daniel, because I’d known when I plunged that spear into Jude’s heart that I wasn’t sacrificing my soul to save him. What I’d done for Jude had freed his soul, but it wasn’t enough to restore his life.

And I wondered if it was better this way.

Or at least if it was what Jude had wanted.

The words he’d mouthed to me just before I tried to heal him—the words he’d been too weak actually to say out loud, still echoed in my head, even though they’d made no sound. “Let me go,” he’d tried to say, with desperate pleading in his eyes. “Let me go. It’s easier.…”

Jude hadn’t been able to imagine a future for himself.

And perhaps dying a martyr—sacrificing himself for Daniel and me—had been the easiest way out he could see.…

I shook my head. Jude had died a hero as far as everyone was concerned. His last words I’d keep to myself. No one else ever needed to know.

I heard the creak of wooden porch steps and realized I wasn’t alone. I looked up and saw someone standing there wearing a black sheath dress and bright coral-pink tights. She held a small, brightly wrapped package in her hands. I blinked several times, wondering if I really was awake after all.

“Hey,” Katie Summers said.

“Hey,” I said back.

“I know I didn’t know your brother, but I wanted to stop by and tell you that I’m sorry for your loss.”

I nodded. “Thanks.” I wiped at the tears pooling in the corners of my eyes.

“I heard what he did for Daniel …,” she started to say.

“Yeah. Wolf attack.” I sighed, knowing she’d probably want to hear the false account from an “eyewitness” just like everyone else.

Katie shook her head. “No. I know what really happened. So don’t worry, you don’t need to lie to me.”

I raised my eyebrows.

“Slade told me. And I know what you all did for me at that awful party. I’m afraid Slade and Brent didn’t do the best job convincing me that I’d drunk some funky Kool-Aid.” She smiled a little. “So thanks, you know, for helping to save my life. You’re pretty cool, you know that?”

I gave a little laugh.

She tapped the present she held with her coral-pink-painted fingernails. I could tell the design on the wrapping paper was hand drawn, and it reminded me of the get-well present she’d wanted me to give Daniel last week. The one that was still tucked in my backpack upstairs. Had she really brought another present for my boyfriend to my brother’s funeral?

“Um, this is for Slade,” she said about the package. I realized then that the brightly colored drawings on the paper were the same design as the flamed tattoos that inked Slade’s arms. “It’s a stopwatch.”

“A stopwatch. For Slade?”

She blushed a bit. “Did he tell you he’s thinking about trying out for the fire department again?”

I shook my head. He hadn’t said anything to me, but I wasn’t surprised. Slade had seemed like a completely different person ever since he brought Baby James out of the fire. Like a man who’d found a reason to live again.

“I thought I could help him train,” she said. “The stopwatch is so we can make sure he doesn’t do the drills too fast, if you know what I mean.”

I smiled and nodded.

“So do you know where I might find him?” Her cheeks went almost as bright as her pink tights. Obviously, Slade had made quite the impression on her when he saved her from that Akh at the party.

“My guess is in the garage. He’s been working on the Aston Martin.”

“The Rapide?” Her eyes grew wide. “You know, I’ve got a thing for automotive design? I have got to sit in that car.”

“Be my guest,” I said, and gestured her inside the house to join the rest of the town. My heart felt a little lighter, knowing that Slade had met his match. Even on a sad day, people should still be allowed to find some happiness. I wondered if Slade would come with us when Daniel and I left with the Etlu Clan, or if this meant he was planning on staying here.

About a minute later, I heard the front door open, and Daniel came to sit with me on the porch swing.

“I brought you something to eat.” He placed a paper plate piled high with honey-glazed ham and a concoction of cheesy shredded potatoes with cornflakes on the top, which my mom had always called funeral potatoes. The name felt a little too poignant at the moment.

“Thanks,” I said, and Daniel wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

We sat in comfortable silence. I picked at my food while Daniel used his feet to rock the swing back and forth. Beyond the squeaks of the metal chains as we swayed in the swing, I listened to the noises of the gathering inside the house. As much as I’d needed a few minutes away from the crowd, I didn’t know how I was going to handle leaving any of them behind in a few short days.