The Queen of Bright and Shiny Things(50)

I’m marveling now.

Finally, he speaks, pausing in his performance. “This is actually meant to be a duet, but I like the song so much that I’m going to try it solo. Be gentle, okay?”

Soft laughter greets his words, which tells me he’s won the room completely. From there, he flows right into a dreamy-folksy number, more upbeat though still with plenty of heart. This song feels like it’s about healing and new beginnings, and I memorize a few of the lines, so I can Google them later. When I get home, I’ll discover some new band. I can envision how it would sound sung in harmony. Beautiful. That could be my theme, and I’m smiling along with the rest of the listeners when he finishes.

Good Charlotte is up next, one of my favorite bands. But Shane picks “Wondering” instead of a more popular choice, like “The Anthem.” His arrangement is unique and masterful, using not just the strings of the guitar but thumps on the body as well. He’s confident now, and he seems to be having fun. Music is such a personal thing, but it lights him up when he plays. I’ve never been to the ocean, but I imagine Shane’s eyes look exactly like sunlight on the Caribbean, and in this moment, they’re shining just for me. His hair tumbles over his forehead as he plays, rocking a little. I could watch him forever.

Apparently the audience agrees because when he tries to stand up and take an awkward bow to indicate he’s done, someone shouts, “Encore!”

“I never get asked for an encore,” Jace mumbles.

“That’s my whole set list,” Shane says.

“Not even one more?” a girl from our school begs.

Yeah, this performance will probably change his status at school a lot. He won’t be a nobody that Dylan Smith can easily push around; and that makes me happy, even while I wonder how it’ll affect us. I mean, I don’t think that Shane is so shallow that he’ll ditch me for the first hot girl who flips her hair when he walks by. Still, I’m nervous. My life has already changed so much, so fast.

I don’t know if I can handle more.

His cheeks are flushed when he sits back down. “I do have an original song I’ve been working on. Would you like to hear it?”

They convince him with applause this time. I notice the barista perched on the bar; nobody has stirred to buy drinks or order muffins this whole time. Shane’s captivated the whole room, and I 100 percent understand why. I can’t look away either. So naturally, they applaud to encourage him, and he launches into something new.

“Monday, midnight / People say it’ll be all right / I see the tunnel / But there’s no light.”

It’s a simple melody, but haunting. The people around me seem to be barely breathing. “Life is bitter, bittersweet / It all changed in a heartbeat Too little, too late Only my heart to break I close my eyes and I fade away / fade away.”

I listen as he sings on, pouring his heart into this song. There’s so much raw sorrow in his voice that I could cry listening to him, and I already fought it down once. His music is a direct line to emotions I’ve pretended I don’t feel anymore. I’m afraid to be sad or angry, afraid Shadow Sage will slip her chain and I’ll find myself in the dark place again. I can’t afford that when I’ve fought so hard to stay in the light. His voice scours me raw; he’s relentless.

“Sunday, sunny day / Wish the world would go away Dreams cost too much And I can’t pay.” From there, he shifts smoothly into the chorus. “Life is bitter, bittersweet…”

I close my eyes.

His voice deepens on this verse. “Wednesday, gray dawn All night, I left the music on. The silence is too loud / Without your song.”

This must be about his mother. So many questions occur to me then, and they drive away my own pain. Shane has that power over me, and I’m grateful for it. The chorus flows over me. “Life is bitter, bittersweet.” I hate that he’s hurting. I mean, I knew it, but the lyrics drive the point home. He must’ve felt so helpless, unable to do anything to make his mom get better, and yet he never ran like his dad. That takes a special sort of strength.

Shane takes a breath, then sings the last verse, soft and low. “Friday, evening, / Is when I stopped believing. Wanna find my smile again But I can’t stop grieving.”

The final refrain flows in his soulful baritone, only he changes it up on the last few lines. “I close my eyes and I fade away Don’t let me / … fade away.”

I can be forgiven for hoping that he’s singing that last part to me. I’m aching to console him. He comes off his stool and surprises me by striding directly toward me. When he pulls me up into his arms for a public kiss, it’s the best moment of my life.





CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

There are twenty-five people in the coffee shop; it’s not exactly a huge audience, but from the sound of their clapping, you’d think there were a hundred people in here. This startles Shane into breaking the kiss. I swear he forgot there were other people around us, and my heart soars. He was singing just for me. A few of them even push to their feet. At first I think it’s a standing ovation, but instead they’re moving forward with bills crumpled in their hands.

“Not that this isn’t romantic … but where’s your tip jar?” a woman asks.

Shane pulls back, sheepish. He glances around with a blank look, and I quickly grab an oversize coffee mug from the shelf, then pass it around. If I know this boy at all, he’s frozen. Before, he was caught up in the moment, but deep down, he’s pretty shy. He needs the money, so I’ll help him collect it. I don’t mind; it’s always easier to be strong for someone else.