The Mistake (Off-Campus #2)(43)

“She’s…twenty-seven, I think? She’s a teacher here in town. Smoking hot.”

“Nice. Are you—wait, what do you mean, almost?”

I awkwardly sip my beer. “Couldn’t go through with it.”

He looks startled. “Why not?”

“Because…it was…” I struggle to find the right adjective to describe that disastrous night with Tori. “I don’t know. I went back to her place, fully intending to fuck her brains out, but when she tried to kiss me, I just bailed. It felt…empty, I guess.”

“Empty,” he echoes, sounding bewildered. “What does that mean?”

Fuck if I can explain it. Since I started college, I haven’t passed up many opportunities to get laid. The way I saw it, I might as well live in the moment and take all the pleasure I can get, because tomorrow I’m going to be a goddamn mechanic, living a hollow existence in the shithole that is Munsen. But the night I went to Tori’s was…equally hollow.

I raise the beer to my lips again, but this time I down half the can. Christ, everything about my life depresses the shit out of me.

Garrett watches me, deep concern etched into his face. “What’s going on, man?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit. You look like your dog just died.” He abruptly glances around the clearing. “Oh shit, did your dog die? Do you have a dog? I suddenly realized I know nothing about your life here.”

He’s right. This is only the second time he’s been here in the three years I’ve known him. I’ve always made sure to keep my home life separate from my school one.

Not that Garrett wouldn’t be able to relate. I mean, his father isn’t exactly a prince, either. A part of me is still shocked that Garrett’s father used to hit him. Phil Graham is hockey royalty around these parts, and I used to idolize him when I was growing up, but ever since Garrett told me about the abuse, I can’t even hear the man’s name without wanting to shove a skate in his chest and twist. Hard.

So yeah, I guess I could have shared my own crappy upbringing when Garrett shared his. I could have told him about my father’s drinking. But I hadn’t, because it’s not something I like to talk about.

But right now? I’m tired of keeping it all inside.

“You want to know about my life here?” I say flatly. “Two words—it sucks.”

Garrett rests his beer on his knee and meets my eyes. “How so?”

“My dad’s a raging alcoholic, G.”

He hisses out a breath. “Are you serious?”

I nod.

“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” He shakes his head, looking upset.

“Because it’s not a big deal.” I shrug. “It’s the way things are. He falls on and off the wagon. He makes messes and we clean them up.”

“Is that why you and Jeff are practically running his business for him?”

“Yup.” I take a breath. Screw it. If it’s confession time, then there’s no point half-assing it. “I’ll be working here full-time next year.”

“What do you mean?” Garrett’s mouth puckers in a frown. “Wait, because of the draft? I already told you—”

I interrupt him. “I didn’t make myself eligible.”

Shock and hurt mingle in his eyes to create a dark cloud. “Are you fucking serious?”

I nod.

“Why the hell didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I didn’t want you trying to change my mind. I knew the day I accepted the scholarship to Briar that I wouldn’t be going pro.”

“But…” He’s sputtering now. “What about all that talk about you and me in Bruins jerseys?”

“Just talk, G.” My tone is as miserable as my future. “Jeff and I made a deal. He works here while I’m at school, and then we switch off.”

“That’s bullshit,” Garrett says again. Vehemently this time.

“No, it’s life. Jeff did his time, now it’s my turn. Someone has to, or else my dad will lose his business, and the house, and—”

“And that’s his problem,” Garrett interjects, his gray eyes blazing. “I don’t mean to sound insensitive, but it’s true. It’s not your responsibility to take care of him.”

“Yes, it is. He’s my dad.” Regret seizes my throat. “He might be a drunk, and a total asshole sometimes, but he’s sick, G. And he got in a car accident a few years back and fucked up his legs pretty bad, so now he has chronic pain and can barely walk.” I swallow, trying to tamp down the sorrow. “Maybe we’ll be able to get him back to rehab one day. Maybe not. Either way, I need to step up and take care of him. It won’t be forever.”

“How long then?”

“Until Jeff gets the travel bug out of his system,” I say weakly. “He and his girlfriend are going to spend a few years trekking through Europe, and then they’re coming back and settling in Hastings. Jeff will run the garage again, and I’ll be free.”

Disbelief drips from Garrett’s voice. “So you’re putting your life on hold? For years?”

“Yes.”

The silence that follows only heightens my discomfort. I know Garrett disapproves of my plans, but there’s nothing I can do about that. Jeff and I had a deal, and I have no choice but to stick to it.