The Lost Saint(34)

“And any chance of finding him through that club has probably been lost,” Gabriel said.

I groaned. “Don’t remind me.”

“I still want to go down there and see what I can find,” Dad said.

“You can’t get in without the keycard.” I gave him a sheepish grin. “And I think I kind of dropped it while I was there.” I hadn’t been able to find it since Talbot dragged us out of there.

Dad made a grumbling noise.

“I’ve got some contacts,” Daniel said. “I’ll ask around again. See if I can get a new card.”

“Can you think of anyone else Jude might try to contact?” Dad asked me.

I shook my head.

“Hmm.” Dad rubbed his temples, like he was trying to ward off a headache. “I’m going to have to mull this over a bit more before we come up with a plan B. In the meantime, we need to figure out what to do with you, Grace.”

“What to do with me?”

“I don’t want you running off all half-cocked again. If I can’t trust you to use your head, then maybe you need to be grounded. No more unauthorized visits to the city. Pull back on your training and hit the books again for a while.”

“What? No!” I’d been surprised when Dad had been supportive of the idea of my training in the first place. I knew he felt guilty that he hadn’t told Jude what was happening to him. So when I finally told Dad that I had been infected, he said, “Knowledge is power,” and gave me all of his books on werewolf lore. He even bought me some books on karate and self-defense. I think he hoped they’d help me develop my abilities without losing control like Jude. Not that you can really learn how to fight from a book, but that was just the way Dad operated—anything important could be found in a book, as far as he was concerned.

But why would he try to take that away from me now? Especially with Gabriel here to train me?

“Dad, you can’t do this. Not now. I’m just starting to be able to really tap into my powers. I ran at full speed for almost an hour and a half this evening. And last night I …” I let that thought drop before I said too much.

“What’s all this?” Gabriel asked. “You’ve been training for what?”

Gabriel! Yes, he was the one who could help me convince Dad.

“Daniel and I have been working on developing my superpowers. We think I can become a Hound of Heaven, like what you wrote about the Urbat. How these powers are meant to help people. How they can be a blessing and not a curse. Daniel’s been trying to teach me how to use my abilities, and I’m just starting to figure it out, but now that you’re here, you can teach me everything you know. You can help me finally tap into the power. If you train me, then you can help me reclaim the Urbat blessings, just like you told your sister you wanted to do in those letters.”

Gabriel stood up from his chair. He tugged on the pastor’s collar and cleared his throat. “No, Grace. I think it’s a terrible idea. Training is the last thing someone like you should be doing.”

I took a step back. That wasn’t the response I’d expected. “But you saw me fight a few minutes ago. I’m getting stronger and faster. I mean, you saw what I’m capable of …”

“Yes, Grace. I saw exactly what you’re capable of. And that’s why I won’t train you. Daniel should have never started in the first place. What you did back there was lose control. You wanted to hurt me. I saw it in your eyes.”

“Yes …” I felt tongue-tied by frustration. Gabriel was basing his entire summation of my character on that one incident. He didn’t really know me. “But that’s never happened before. And it won’t happen again. It was one brief lapse … I can do this—”

“One brief lapse is all that it takes, Grace. Do you have any idea how close you were to losing yourself to the wolf? All you’d had to do was squeeze.”

Dad shot up from his chair. I didn’t know what he wanted to do, but he hesitated and glanced between Gabriel and me, obviously realizing that he’d missed something before coming into Don’s apartment. Daniel sat frozen like a statue in his chair, staring at the floor.

“Daniel, tell them. This was your idea in the first place. You’re the one who convinced me that I could become a hero. You know I can do this.” Daniel owed me this, and I tried to get that across in my tone of voice. After all that crap in his driveway, and whatever secrets he was keeping, this was his chance to make up for being a jackass. “Tell them.”

Daniel took a deep breath. He didn’t look up at me. “I’m sorry, Grace,” he said sternly. “But I think they’re right.”

“What?”

My lips trembled. I should have been angry, but all I felt was hurt. Tears stung behind my eyes, but I forced them back. Bursting out crying right now wasn’t going to convince anyone that I was the pinnacle of control. I couldn’t look at Daniel anymore.

“But you said I was special,” I said to Gabriel, trying one more time to get through to him. “Isn’t that why you wanted to come here? And isn’t this what you wanted? Isn’t this what you told Katharine you wanted to do? Find a way to help the Urbat use these powers for good? Fight the good fight?”

“I wrote those letters eight hundred and thirty years ago, Grace. I used to think that these powers could be used for good. I don’t believe in fighting anymore. I don’t use my powers if I can help it.” Gabriel stepped toward me. “You are special, Grace. I can tell just by hearing how badly you want to save your brother. But that’s why we can’t lose you to the curse.” He reached for my hand again.