The Heart Forger (The Bone Witch #2)(96)

A muscle ticked in Fox’s jaw, but he said nothing.

“I thought the silver meant you were a Deathseeker-in-training. You laughed and said that being a Deathseeker would have made your life a lot less complicated.” Her fingers traveled past his heartsglass, up his chest and neck, to touch the silver fox pin. “Do you remember what you told me then?”

Fox’s mouth worked. “I asked you to trust me.”

Inessa smiled. “And then, four months later, when I told you I loved you. Do you remember what you said?”

Fox was silent, his head bowed.

“You told me you couldn’t accept my love, that if you couldn’t tell me the reasons for your silver heartsglass—”

“—then I can’t promise you what I know you deserve.”

She wept, and her tears tore at him.

“Inessa.”

She looked up, her beautiful eyes still bright with tears. They widened when she saw what he was holding out to her.

“I can promise you nothing but what I already have.”

Inessa stroked his lower jaw. “You offered me your heartsglass instead.”

“You were right to reject me.” Fox’s voice was hoarse. “I couldn’t promise you anything. I still can’t—not as a familiar. When I learned you were the First Daughter of Kion, I knew you were out of my reach. Familiar-consorts weren’t unheard of in Kion—but Kion empresses and princesses also needed heirs. I was too much of a coward to tell you what I was, knowing it would end what we had.”

“No. I rejected you because I was stupid and because I was terrified. I was raised to believe in those ridiculous storybook romances, where love was meaningless unless it comes without fear, without selfishness. I thought you weren’t willing to fight for me, that you were going to give me a heartsglass that would fade in time, to pacify me for the moment.”

“Silver heartsglass don’t fade, Inessa.”

“I know that now.” She looked back at him fiercely. “Tea told me, back at Lake Strypnyk. I saw you walking with her in the Willows once, you know. I was angry and jealous until they told me she was your sister. I was still angry, but it wasn’t because I was repulsed that you were a familiar. I was angry because you never trusted me enough to tell me.”

Fox lowered his head. “I was afraid of what your answer would be.”

Inessa closed her eyes. “I know that now too. I…can’t guarantee what my mother might think about this, Fox. But at least let us try.” She kissed his neck. “It’s your turn to trust me,” she whispered. “When tomorrow comes, promise that you’ll trust me, Fox.”

His fingers tightened on her hair. “I promise.”

The kiss was chaste for only a second, before Fox gathered her in his arms and deepened it, Inessa returning the kiss with the same fervor.

Gross. Please don’t make me watch this. Already I was embarrassed, trying to pull my thoughts back again, but this time, Fox helped me snap free.

I think it’s about time you left, Tea.

I fled his mind, knowing I also had a matter to resolve.

? ? ?

I found him in the gardens, the night air cool against my cheeks. We paused to savor the crisp breeze, neither of us speaking for the longest time. Kalen’s heartsglass swung, and I saw the reason for his hesitation in its silvery depths. But I didn’t want to prolong the silence. I was desperate to clear the air about Odalia, about Lake Kaal, about the dance.

“Kalen. About the compulsion…”

“I’m not holding that against you anymore, Tea.”

“But I have to explain myself!” I blurted before I could change my mind. “I was frightened.”

“Frightened?”

“Because I was selfish.” He looked surprised. I pushed on. “I wasn’t frightened about leaving Prince Kance in Odalia. But I was when you said you were staying.”

“I don’t understand.” Yet I saw glimmers of hope in his heartsglass belying the words, and I plucked up the last of my courage.

“You know how I feel—what I thought I felt—for the prince. But staying with him never crossed my mind. I could argue that I knew he would be cared for, that he wouldn’t be harmed. But that’s not completely true. I should have been as worried as you were.”

“You knew you had no choice—”

“But I gave in so easily, without putting up a fight. When you said you were staying…” I swallowed, my eyes straying to the floor. Tonight was a night for confessions. Perhaps my brother’s resolve was influencing me through our bond, giving me more backbone to do the same.

“The thought of you in Odalia, alone, scared me so much that I did what I’d sworn I’d never do. I shouldn’t have forced you to come. It was cowardly of me, even if I thought I had the best intentions.”

“Cowardice has never been one of your vices, Tea. You killed a man for me. I wouldn’t have asked that of anyone.”

I had to smile, still not meeting his gaze. “What I did to you felt worse. That doesn’t say much about me.”

“Did you know what I thought the day you made me the offer to share heartsglass? When you said you’d do anything I wanted?”

“Are you going to throw that in my face again?”