The Heart Forger (The Bone Witch #2)(125)

“She understands.”

“We have different lives to lead, and sharing a bond makes that much more difficult. I…I don’t know what you want to do, but if we have an option to break our—”

“No!” My brother leaned forward and wrapped me in a fierce hug. “We need someone in our heads to tell us whenever we’re being idiotic. It’s the Pahlavi way.”

I returned his embrace. “But we don’t need to be in each other’s heads all the time. The best thing you can do for me is to live the life you want, Fox, and I know that is with Princess Inessa. I’m fine. I’ve been exiled, but Kance isn’t going to lop off my head.”

He glared at me. “Are you reading my thoughts again?”

“A wise man once said: ‘We need someone in our heads to tell us whenever we’re being idiotic. It’s the Pahlavi way.’”

Fox sighed. “I’ll get the horses. Best to leave Kneave before Kance has second thoughts.”

As my brother took his leave, Kalen said, “You’re good at hiding things from him, despite your bond.”

“How would you know that?” I asked.

“I’ve been with you long enough and can tell that Fox doesn’t read heartsglass. Polaire’s death wasn’t your fault, Tea.”

“Then whose fault was it? I brought these events to fruition. I killed Aenah. I drove the king mad. If I was responsible for those happenings, why can’t I be responsible for anything else?”

“Tea.” Kalen’s hands were on my shoulders. He did not argue, he shared no words in my defense, but his eyes were soft and his heartsglass glowed several brilliant shades of white. How strange it is, I thought, that Kalen knows my guilt, knows my culpability, and yet, it doesn’t matter to him.

“You cannot let your cousin dismiss you like that,” I whispered. “You cannot let what I did affect your relationship with Kance.”

“It doesn’t matter. As soon as I learned that Telemaine was responsible for my mother’s death and my father’s imprisonment, I knew I could not stay here in this kingdom. We will mend our bridges one day.”

He took my hand. “I am no longer of the prince’s guard nor his protector. I have no position to speak of other than Deathseeker and nothing but the sword on my back. I…I am not sure how much use I can be to you.”

“You really are a bumbass.” I kissed his hands. “If it wasn’t for me, you would not have lost favor with Kance, and I will always bear that burden.”

“What are you planning, Tea?”

“The elder asha are complicit in all this intrigue. Vanor said they did not conspire with Aenah, but I saw them in her head, Kalen. They shared common goals—enough that the elder asha were willing to look the other way when it came to Mykkie’s heartsglass. I hold them just as responsible for Polaire’s death as…”

Saying her name provoked another fresh bout of tears. “I have to find out, Kalen, for my peace of mind. I want to know why the elders are keeping secrets from the other asha. I want to know why they wanted Mykaela’s heartsglass to stay hidden. Whatever falsehoods Aenah said, in this I know she spoke the truth: the elder asha are not what they claim to be. You should return to Holsrath and…and mourn.”

“Are you turning me away, Tea?” His fierceness broke my heart.

“I can’t ask you to stay. You just lost your father…”

“I lost him a long time ago, Tea. I’ll mourn in my own way, and it won’t need to be at Holsrath.”

“But there’s something wrong with me, Kalen.” I unfastened my cloak, letting the fabric fall down my shoulders. My heartsglass gleamed in the fading light. Amid the hues of silver were the telltale flecks of black swimming in and out of view.

“Aenah talked about black heartsglass, and I can feel it starting within me. I killed her so brutally…and even now, I feel no remorse. Kance was right. Fox was right. I am changing—and not for the better. I don’t want anyone else to die.” I stumbled over the words. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You will never lose me, Tea.” Kalen kissed me gently. “And your heartsglass is all the more reason for me to be by your side. Turn me away if you want to, but that will not stop me from following your lead.”

“Promise me one thing,” I said. In the days after Polaire’s death and Telemaine’s madness, I could feel the darkness swirling inside me grow, the urge to give in to the darkrot became more appealing than ever. I felt no guilt over Aenah’s death, and even with Telemaine, my conscience was affected only because he was Kance’s father.

But that darkness eased whenever Kalen was near. I knew I would not break his trust for even the sweetest of the Dark. I remembered the comfort of his heartsglass when I had lain injured in the gardens, his Heartshare warming me like no antidote could. “Don’t let me become a monster like Aenah, Kalen.”

“You aren’t a monster, Tea.”

Not when you are with me, I’m not. I closed my eyes and lifted my face so Kalen’s lips could find mine. With you by my side, I thought, I could never be a monster.





It was early dawn.

She watched the sun rise and the stars fade beyond her reach. Her daeva were gathered around her, like children devoted to their mother, and the Deathseeker was at her side. She had healed them with her blood and a touch, but she remained fractured and broken herself, the never-healing scars inside her soul bearing the names of friends long gone.