The Girl King (The Girl King #1)(55)

She could see it though, even as the words left her: she would grow tall and elegant, her face shifting into a cool mask of beauty like her mother’s. Her voice would strengthen with wisdom and her nunas would love her for it. She would use it to make clever jokes that would make them laugh. And every time Set looked upon her, her and the blessed golden children she bore for him, he would see her.

“I want to be free,” the shamaness sighed, almost wistful. “Just as you long to be free of me, of yourself as you are.”

Was that freedom she was imagining? It felt like power. Perhaps freedom was a sort of power. Or perhaps freedom could only be won through power . . .

“How do I do it?” Min’s eyes were open now in the dimness of her too-small bedroom.

“Go north,” said the shamaness. “Just like your beloved and his false monk bid you do. Go north. Take me home to Yunis. Once I am there, I will be free to leave you to your stupid little dreams of sons and beauty.”

Could it be that simple? Her heart clenched, daring to hope.

“But,” Min said as she realized, “Set only wants me because I have you.” What could she possibly offer him otherwise? She was just a stupid little girl, slow-witted and plain.

“Find him Yunis, and he will love you for it,” the shamaness said. “Grant him Yunis, and you will grant him endless power. After that, what is there he can’t forgive?”

Like a conjuring, Set’s face swam before her eyes, indistinct as water. He saw her and smiled, flooding her with a peculiar warmth. Warmth like safety, like certainty. It felt, Min thought, a lot like love.

Yes. If I give him Yunis, it will be enough. The hope surged through her, bright and urgent. I’ll give him Yunis, and I’ll give him sons, and I’ll be so clever and obedient he won’t be able to help but love me, magic or no.

Perhaps he would even let her pardon her sister. Lu could never rule, of course—oh, that would make her angry—but surely Set could find a place for her in the court.

“And I will be able to have children? Once you’re gone?” Min pressed. She had to be sure.

“All the hideous little princes you can manage to squeeze out.”

An unpleasant thought came to Min then. “But Set wants to destroy Yunis, doesn’t he?” she asked, her voice catching on the words. “He just declared war on them.”

“He does,” the shamaness purred. “He wants to gut it and use it and rend it until nothing remains but ashes and lost hope.” Min could feel the oily pleasure, the smile in her voice.

“But why . . .” Min frowned. She was missing something, but what? Stupid, why am I so stupid? “Why would you want to destroy your own home?”

“Tell me,” the shamaness sighed wearily, as though speaking to a difficult child. “Tell me about your home, Min. What does the word mean to you?”

And she saw Butterfly and Snowdrop and Tea Rose, giggling together in a closed cluster ahead of her on the sidewalk.

And she saw her mother, so beautiful and severe and cold—always radiantly cold—sighing over her shoulder as they both gazed despairingly at Min’s reflection in the mirror.

And she saw Lu. She saw her from behind, the swing of her long braid as she walked away. Always toward something else, some place Min couldn’t quite follow.

And she thought perhaps she understood.





CHAPTER 18


North

They awoke to a pounding at the door.

They’ve come for the princess, Nok thought as he opened it.

“Adé?”

Nok gaped at the girl in the doorway. He glanced nervously over his shoulder but only saw Omair. The princess was nowhere in sight, hopefully heeding his instruction to stay hidden. “What are you doing here?”

“You missed my engagement party yesterday,” Adé said, chewing her lip. “I was worried.”

“Your—” Nok closed his eyes. “I . . . I forgot.”

“Oh.” She rocked on her heels, then thrust a parcel toward him. “It wasn’t much fun, to be honest. There are all these wild rumors flying about the Ellandaise being forced to leave the city so no one was in the mood . . .” Perhaps mistaking his nervousness for boredom, her voice trailed off. “Anyway, that’s not important. I brought you a slice of cake. Leftover from the party. Try it; it’s nice.”

He looked down at the parcel in her hands. It was wrapped in soft white cotton and tied with a string. “You can’t be here right now,” he blurted, regretting it as a flash of hurt distorted her pretty features. Just for a moment; then she was setting her jaw.

“What’s going on, Nok?” she demanded, pushing past him. “You’re acting strange—well, stranger than usual.”

Helplessly, Nok moved to let her in. He glanced outside, but the view was clear. Not a person in sight. He closed the door behind them.

“Adé!” Omair was rising from his seat at the table. “What an unexpected surprise.”

The girl favored him with a warm embrace. “It’s so good to see you!”

“Look how you’ve grown! How are things in the city?”

“Well, it’s complete madness this morning, of course.” Then, seeing their blank stares: “Have you not heard about the emperor yet?”