The Forsaken(11)

Wow. If that was playing nice, she didn’t want to see his mean side. “Nathanael, can you give me a few minutes with Gareth, alone?” Why the Hell am I asking his permission?

“You heard her, buddy. Leave us,” barked Gareth.

“Cut that out, or I’ll make you leave too,” said Izzy. Nathanael moved toward Izzy, and she fought not to move back. Showing fear wouldn’t do.

“Five minutes. Then he leaves and we talk.”

Bold declarations; typical Seraphim. Nodding, Izzy turned her attention back to folding the clothes she’d removed while looking for her favorite hoodie. She was glad now she’d chosen black. The color certainly fit her mood. The minute Nathanael left, she focused on Gareth, catching the slight shake in his hands, hearing his heart do that fast flutter, knowing he fought the good fight because she had asked him. After two years of friendship, him patiently waiting for her, she told him her terms. Get clean, purify his body, and then she’d give him hers. It had sounded simple, even reasonable considering she’d thought she’d never see the heavenly gates again. Certainly she didn’t think for one minute her soul mate would come looking for her. She couldn’t explain to Gareth she loved him like the brother she’d never had. Telling him that would crush him, because she knew he longed for her body and heart.

Those two things were no longer hers. They belonged to Nathanael. He was her other half—according to heavenly law, anyway. She hated him for it.

“Care to explain who the Hell he is?” Gareth plopped down on her bed. It made her uncomfortable and always did. That’s why she’d told Meredith to stop letting him sneak into her sanctuary but today was the first time he’d used a window. Guess she couldn’t fault her friend today.

“He’s an—”

“Don’t you dare tell me he’s an old friend. That’s bullshit and you know it. Who is he? We share everything. No secrets, right?”

Izzy looked away. Her life for the past years, based on lies, held more secrets than she dared ever disclose.

Gareth went for the flesh-to-flesh approach. Before, when he’d touch her, she’d told herself feeling nothing was a normal reaction. She might be a fallen Cherub but she was still an angel, and he a human. Knowing how her body reacted, heated and ached with Nathanael’s nearness, rubbed her wrong. She wanted her body to feel like that when Gareth touched her. It didn’t.

“Izzy, what’s wrong?” His note of compassion and tenderness almost opened the floodgate of emotions she had locked and buried away for eternity.

Shaking out of his light embrace, she laughed. “Nothing. He’s a member of my family.” That most certainly is true…just not how I really mean it.

“Like a cousin or something?” asked Gareth, allowing her to move further away.

“Or something. It’s complicated.” Like on a scale you could not imagine. “He’s visiting for a while but he’ll be gone soon.” I can only pray for that. “Why’d you really come here, Gareth? You know I’m uncomfortable with you in my bedroom.”

Seeing his large, six-foot-four frame silhouetted against her wall from the moonlight sneaking in from the partially opened window, she’d realized he looked a lot like Nathanael. With his dark military-shaved head, defined, muscular arms and prizefighter body, he could pass for Seraphim. The arm of black tattoos that bore two names, Eddie and Frank, set him apart. His ink bore the names of his buddies, killed during a tour of duty in Iraq. They were constant reminders his life, like hers, hadn’t been all rosy.

That realization shook her. Had she been drawn to him because of that? Hoping it wasn’t so, Izzy sat down on the bed, motioning for Gareth to join her.

“Do you want me to sing for you?” She’d do this for him tonight, knowing Nathanael probably had his ear to her door. If he dared intervene, she’d chuck one of her nearby throwing stars at him. That thought brought a fleeting smile to her face.

Gareth grasped her hand. She allowed him the dignity to respond in his quiet fashion. Thumb stroking her thumb, he nodded.

Reaching for the purity of her heavenly voice was an easy task. Leashing the swirl of strange emotions Nathanael had unwound, not so much. Like her fellow Cherubs, she’d been taught how to sing since the moment she could stand. She clasped his hand so they were bound, prayer-like, together and then started. He liked the old songs, so she sang him an ancient Hebrew ballad, watching his body absorb her healing notes. Tension eased from his shoulders, his eyes closed in serenity, and his heartbeat slowed. She loved how her voice affected him so.

“Thank you, Izzy. I’m feeling better.”

“I’m really proud of you, Gareth. You’re doing good. You’re a strong soldier.”

He simply nodded, but she caught the slight well of tears in his eyes. We all have our demons to fight. Izzy was glad hers were ones she had the opportunity to vanquish on a regular basis in the flesh, and not tormenting her every waking moment like Gareth’s. His demons slept in his mind. The survivor always lived with guilt and that question of why me? No one knew that better than Izzy.

“I needed to come here. I needed you, tonight.”

“I know,” she soothed.

“You understand?”

“Of course. That’s why I’m here for you. It’s been a long night, Gareth. It’s time you left. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”