The Dark Divine(67)

“Not until I tell you … You have to know.” He wrapped both hands around his pendant, and said like it would solve every problem in the world, “I love you, Grace.”

I stumbled back. His words felt like a knife in my heart. They were everything I desired to hear, and everything I hoped he’d never say. And they couldn’t solve a thing. I stepped away farther; my back butted against the large oak doors of the parish. “Don’t say that. You can’t.”

Daniel dropped his hands. “You really are afraid of me.”

“Isn’t that what you wanted?”

He bowed his head. “Gracie, let me fix what I’ve done. That’s all I want. All I care about is you.”

I wanted to be able to forgive Daniel. I really did. But even with everything Dad said, I didn’t know how. It’s not like I could just flip a switch and forget everything he’d done to my brother. It’s not like I could change the fact that loving me meant that something inside of him wanted to kill me. But it’s not like I could just stop loving him, either—couldn’t stop the aching to kiss him, to be with him.

How could I go on seeing him like this every day? I knew I’d give in eventually—I’d lose everything.

I pushed on the door latch. “If you cared, then you’d leave.”

“I told your father I’d walk you home.”

“I meant for good, Daniel. You’d leave here for good.”

“I won’t let you walk alone.”

“Then I’ll call April or Pete Bradshaw,” I said, even though I knew both of them were at the hockey game.

“I can take you,” Don Mooney’s voice boomed down the hall. He held a large fudge brownie in his fist, and there was a smudge of chocolate frosting on his chin. “I don’t mind.”

“That would be nice, Don.” I pushed open the door. “Good-bye, Daniel.”





CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Alpha and Omega





WALKING HOME




I clung to Don’s bearlike arm as I stumbled down the street. My breath created a thick, white fog around my face, and a migraine pressed behind my eyes—but that’s not why I found it so difficult to see. I once would have never believed that I’d be happy to have him as my escort, but I silently thanked God that Don had been there to see me home.

I could tell he wanted to talk to me by the way he sputtered and sighed, as if trying to get up the courage to speak. We were almost to my front porch when he finally said something.

“Are you gonna come with us on deliveries tomorrow?”

“No.” I wiped at my face, trying to hide the tears I used to be able to stop myself from crying. “The Christmas dance is tomorrow evening. I have a date.”

“Oh, that’s too bad.” He kicked at the porch step. “I was hoping you would be there.”

“Why?”

“I wanted you to see,” he said. “I bought thirty-two Christmas hams to donate for the parish.”

“Thirty-two!” Why did that make my tears come faster? “That must have cost a fortune.”

“All my Christmas money and then some,” he said. “I wanted to help the needy instead of buying presents this year.”

“That’s great.” I smiled because I knew that Don himself technically fit into the “needy” category.

“I have something for you, though.” Don dug into his pocket. “Pastor says I should wait till Christmas, but I want you to have it now. I hope it will make you feel better.” He opened his giant fist and offered me a small wooden figurine.

“Thank you.” I rubbed away the few tears that remained in my eyes and inspected the present. It was crudely carved, like what a child would make, but I could tell that it was an angel with flowing robes and feathered wings. “It’s beautiful.” It truly was.

“It’s an angel like you.”

I tried to hide a frown. The last thing I felt like was an angel after what I’d said to Daniel. “Did you make this with your knife?” I asked. “You didn’t put it back, did you?”

Don looked around. “You still won’t tell, will you? Promise you won’t?”

“I promise.”

“You are an angel.” He hugged me around the middle, squeezing all the air out of my lungs. “I’d do anything for you,” he said, and finally let go.

“You’re a good man, Don.” I tentatively patted him on the arm, afraid of another bear hug. “Thank you for walking me home. You didn’t have to.”

“Didn’t want you going home with that boy.” Don grimaced. “He’s a mean one. He does bad stuff and calls me ‘retard’ when no one’s around.” Don’s face flamed red in the lamplight of the porch. “He’s not good enough to be with you.” He lowered his voice and leaned in like he had a big secret. “Sometimes, I think he might be the monster.”

Don’s accusation surprised me—but not the monster part. It made it easier to reject Daniel when I thought of his taunting Don.

“I’m sorry he treats you that way. But don’t worry, I won’t be hanging around Daniel anymore.” I tucked the angel figurine into my dress coat pocket.