The Dark Divine(59)

“No, you didn’t find it? Or no, you can’t cure him?”

Dad took off his glasses, folded in the arms, and placed them neatly on his desk. He leaned back in his chair and squeezed the bridge of his nose. “Tell me something, Grace. Do you love Daniel?”

“How can I?” I studied a hangnail on my thumb. “Not after what he did to Jude. It wouldn’t be right….”

“Do you love him?” Dad’s voice told me not to consider those other things. “Do you?”

Tears welled behind my eyes. How did I have any more to cry?

“Yes,” I whispered.

Dad sighed and picked up the box. “Then it’s out of my hands.” He placed the box in front of me, something rattled inside it as he did. “I feel you must discover the answer for yourself. I’ll be here when you do … but the choice is yours to make.”





LATE AFTERNOON




I sat cross-legged on my bed with the box balanced between my knees. I couldn’t believe all the answers—the final pieces of the puzzle—could be found in such a narrow box. Could I really hope for such a possibility? Maybe all it held was more disappointment. Maybe there was no cure after all. It would explain how distraught and tired my father seemed. Maybe he thought I needed to discover that for myself … become resigned just like him.

But he said I had a choice to make. And choices can’t be made without knowledge—without answers. So why can’t I open the box?


The truth was that I was afraid of answers. Ignorance may not be bliss, but it seemed preferable to all the pain that accompanied the answers I’d found already.

I stared at the box until my knees ached in their position. My fingers trembled as I reached for the blackened gold latch. I popped it open and pushed up the lid. Inside, I found a book that looked older and more brittle than any of the ones in Dad’s office. The cover was a faded sapphire-blue, with the same gold sun-and-moon inlays as were on the box. I brushed the cover tentatively. I was afraid the book might fall to pieces as I picked it up.

Several slips of paper protruded from the top end of the book. Had Dad marked certain passages to make my reading easier? I turned the delicate tissuelike pages to the first marked entry. The page looked like a handwritten letter, or a copy of one, in faded brown ink. Dad said this was a translation, not the original. I found myself wishing I’d taken Mrs. Miller’s calligraphy class, in addition to painting, as I tried to make out the pale, scripted words.

My Dearest Katharine,

Tidings of thy joyous marriage to Simon Saint Moon could not have come at a better time. My encampment has been besieged by despair and many of the foot soldiers and squires cower at the cries of wolves that surround our camp by night. They think God will let them devour us because of our sins.

My squire, Alexius, claims that the wolves are not ordinary animals, but the Dogs of Death of local legend. He tells me they are men who were once blessed by God to be his soldiers, but the devil turned them from their quest, and now they are cursed to roam the earth as savage beasts.

Oh little sister, you would love dear Alexius. I do not regret taking him on as my squire after the fires.

Many of the other local boys have not fared as well. I pray we will give up on this campaign and move on to the Holy Land. I did not leave our village behind to aide in the killing of other Christians. Perhaps the devil is trying to sway us from our quest also.

Father Miguel assures us that our mission is true and that God will protect us in our fight against the Greek traitors….



A knock sounded softly against my bedroom door. I covered the box and book with my blanket. “Come in,” I said, expecting Charity with dinner.

“Hey.” Jude leaned against the door frame. He held a dark green folder in his hands. “This is for you.” He crossed the distance to my bed and handed it to me.

“What is it?” I pushed the book farther under the covers with my foot.

“All of your homework.” Jude half smiled. “Junior grades are critical for college admissions. I didn’t want you to get behind. I got April to copy her notes from English. But Mrs. Howell says you still owe her a parent-signed test.”

Crap. I’d forgotten all about that.

“I told her you haven’t been feeling like yourself lately, and I talked her into letting you retake the exam instead. She says you can do it after school when you’re feeling better.”

“Wow. Thank you. That was really …” Just like Jude. I don’t know why I was so surprised. This was just the thing my brother always did. It’s what made him … him. But I’d figured he’d never want to talk to me again. Not after what I’d done. “I really appreciate this.”

Jude nodded. “When you’re up to it, I’ll wait for you after school while you take your test. That way you won’t have to walk home alone.” He walked to the door, stopped, and looked back at me. “It’s time to get out of bed, Gracie.”

He knows. I know the truth about what happened to him … and he knows.

“I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you,” I said softly.

Jude nodded slightly and shut the door behind him.

After I heard Jude walk down the hall, I pulled the box and book out from under the blanket. I closed the lid over Katharine and her brother and locked the box in my desk drawer. I couldn’t read any further. I couldn’t search for answers anymore. I needed to drop the whole issue. Jude was moving on, and so was I.