The Dark Divine(2)

I grabbed his hand that held the charcoal. “Who the hell do you think you are?”

“So you don’t recognize me?” He looked up and pushed his hair out of his face. His cheeks were pale and hollow, but it was his eyes that made me gasp. The same dark eyes I used to call “mud pies.”

“Daniel?” I let go of his hand. The charcoal pencil plinked onto the table. A million questions slammed against one another in my brain. “Does Jude know you’re here?”

Daniel wrapped his fingers around the black pendant that hung from his neck. His lips parted as if to speak.

Mr. Barlow came up to us, his arms crossed in front of his barrel-like chest. “I told you to report to the counselors’ office before joining this class,” he said to Daniel. “If you cannot respect me, young man, then perhaps you do not belong here.”

“I was just leaving.” Daniel shoved back his chair and slumped past me, his dyed hair veiling his eyes. “See you later, Gracie.”


I looked at the charcoal drawing he left behind. The black lines laced together into the silhouette of a lone, familiar tree. I brushed past Mr. Barlow and the group of students in the doorway. “Daniel!” I shouted. But the hallway was deserted.

Daniel was good at disappearing. It’s what he did best.





DINNER




I listened to forks and knives clinking on plates and dreaded my turn in the infamous Divine family daily ritual—the “so what did you do today?” part of dinner.

Dad went first. He was quite excited about the parish-sponsored charity drive. I’m sure it was a nice change for him. He’d been holed up studying in his private office so much lately that Jude and I joked that he must be trying to start his own religion. Mom told us about her new intern at the clinic, and that Baby James had learned the words peas, apple, and turtle at day care. Charity reported that she got an A on her science test.

“I got most of my friends to donate coats to the clothing drive,” Jude announced when he finished cutting Baby James’s meat loaf into bite-sized pieces.

I wasn’t surprised. Some people in Rose Crest tried to claim that Jude’s goodness was just an act, but he really was that kind of person. I mean, who else would give up the freedom of senior year to do independent study at the parish three afternoons a week? Or fail to make the varsity hockey team with all his friends because he wasn’t willing to be aggressive enough. Sometimes it was hard being his younger sister, but it was nearly impossible not to love Jude.

I hated the thought of what my news might do to him.

“That’s great,” Dad said to Jude.

“Yeah.” He grinned. “Yesterday, I told everyone I was donating a coat and encouraged them to help out.”

“Which coat are you giving away?” Mom asked.

“The red one.”

“Your North Face? But that one’s practically like new.”

“Because I’ve barely worn it in the last three years. It seems selfish to keep it in my closet when someone else could use it.”

“Jude’s right,” Dad said. “We need good-quality clothing. It’s not even Thanksgiving yet, and they’re already predicting another record-breaking winter.”

“Yes!” Charity cheered. Mom grumbled. She never did understand why Minnesotans rooted for record-breaking cold.

I was moving my mashed potatoes around my plate with my fork when Dad turned to me and asked the question I was so not looking forward to. “You’ve been particularly quiet this evening, Grace. How was your day?”

I put down my fork. The hunk of meat loaf in my mouth felt like Styrofoam when I swallowed. “I saw Daniel today.”

Mom glanced up from trying to prevent James from chucking his food across the table. The look that said, We don’t mention that name in our house, passed over her eyes.

We discussed just about everything around our kitchen table: death, teen pregnancy, politics, and even religious injustice in the Sudan—but there was one topic we never talked about anymore: Daniel.

Dad wiped his mouth with his napkin. “Grace and Jude, I could use both of you at the parish tomorrow afternoon. We’ve had a great response to the charity drive. I can’t even get into my office, it’s packed so full of canned corn.” He gave a slight chuckle.

I cleared my throat. “I talked to him.”

Dad’s laugh strangled off, almost like he was choking.

“Whoa,” Charity said, her fork paused halfway to her mouth. “Way to go with the revelations, Grace.”

Jude slid back his chair. “May I be excused?” he asked, and put his napkin on the table. He didn’t wait for a response and walked out of the kitchen.

I glanced at Mom. Now look what you did, her eyes seemed to say.

“Peas!” James shouted. He threw a handful of them at my face.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, and left the table.





LATER




I found Jude sitting on the front porch, wrapped in the blue afghan from the couch. His breath made white puffs in front of his face.

“It’s freezing, Jude. Come inside.”

“I’m fine.”

I knew that he wasn’t. Few things ever upset Jude. He didn’t like the way some girls at school would say cruel stuff and then try to pass it off as “just kidding.” He hated it when people used the Lord’s name in vain, and he absolutely couldn’t tolerate anyone who claimed the Wild would never win the Stanley Cup. But Jude didn’t scream or yell when he was mad. He got real quiet and folded into himself.