The Blood Spell (Ravenspire, #4)(12)
“I know,” Grand-mère said, her gaze finding her granddaughter’s and holding. “But I also know that you can’t save people unless they are willing to be saved. Maybe the thought of giving up the life she knows for the life of an apprentice scares her.”
Blue slowly put her fork down on the table. She’d thought Ana was excited to learn the skills she needed to find an apprenticeship. Could Ana have skipped her job at the shop today because she was afraid of change? Was she so used to a life of desperation and faint hope that she couldn’t see herself living any other way? If that was true for her, how many other children out there were struggling to envision anything better for themselves either?
Looking up from her plate, Blue found both Papa and Grand-mère watching her. Firmly, she said, “The only reason Ana or any of the other children would be scared of going after an apprenticeship is because they’ve lost hope that there’s something better out there for them. If we give them shelter and decent food—if we treat them like people who are worthy of dignity and respect—then they’ll be able to see that a better future is possible.”
Papa’s smile was wide and warm. “That’s my girl.” He reached across the table to squeeze her hand. “More turnips?”
“I’m full.” Blue pushed her plate away and braced herself for the protest that was sure to come as she said, “And I need to figure out the next step in my experiments on turning lead into gold. Grand-mère, you can help with that.” Blue drew in a breath and then said quickly, “I think it’s time I had my own wand.”
The older woman’s gaze snapped to Blue’s. “We’ve discussed this.”
“I’d like to discuss it again.” Blue held Grand-mère’s eyes, though heat squirmed through her, and she had to concentrate on not shifting her weight.
Papa leaned forward. “Blue—”
“I can handle this, Pierre.” Grand-mère’s voice was soft, but there was stone beneath it as she ran her fingers along the wand she kept in a slim sheath beneath her left sleeve. “I’ve told you before, Blue. No wand for you. You don’t need one. You already focus your magic with the touch of your hands. That’s good enough.” Her voice was firm.
“It’s not good enough!” Blue’s voice rose, and a swift look of disapproval from Papa had her struggling to speak calmly again. “I can’t figure out how to change lead into gold. My hands aren’t telling me the secret. And if I can’t figure that out, I can’t buy shelter and food and tutors. I can’t help Ana, or the other children on our streets, and somebody has to. I have to.”
“And why do you have to?” Grand-mère pointed at Blue. “Who made that your job?”
“You did.” Blue lifted her chin as Grand-mère blinked in surprise. “You’re the one who always told me if I see something wrong, it becomes my responsibility to make it right.”
Papa laughed, and then quickly choked it down as Grand-mère shot him a look. “She has you there, Destri.”
Grand-mère snorted, but her eyes softened as she looked at Blue. “Your mind is so bright. So curious. Always hunting for something to understand, something to create, or something to fix. I know you look at a wand and you think you see all the possibilities, but I see the possibilities too. And not all of them are good.”
“But—”
“If you use a wand in the shop and someone sees you, they could report you,” Papa said quietly.
“I could use it only after hours, when the shop is locked up.”
“It’s too dangerous.” He rose from the table, moved to her chair, and wrapped his arms around her. “I will not lose my daughter because of magic. You’re a brilliant alchemist, Blue. You’ll figure out how to help the children without risking exposing your magic to others. I believe in you, and I’ll help you in any way I can. Something should’ve been done to help them long ago, and I’m ashamed it took my own daughter to open my eyes to it.”
“Thank you.” She leaned into him, and he held her for a moment before stepping back and reaching for her gathering basket.
“Shall we go down to the root cellar and store these together?” he asked as he did every time she brought in a harvest.
Her gaze flew to the root cellar door and skittered away as sharp teeth of panic scraped at her.
One day, she’d go back down into the root cellar, where she’d sat beside her mama’s dying body when she was seven, unable to climb up the broken, twisted ladder to get help. Helpless to do anything but wait for her papa to return home far too late to even say good-bye to his beloved wife.
“I’m tired,” she said, her voice a faint shadow of itself as the panic threatened to close her throat.
Papa smiled gently, though sorrow was in his eyes. “Perhaps tomorrow, then.”
She nodded her thanks as he opened the door and descended into the root cellar with her basket.
“You’re going to have to face that room someday, Blue.” Grand-mère rose from the table and began clearing dishes. “Hiding from our ghosts only gives them the power to keep haunting us.”
“I know.” And she did. She knew it down in her bones, the way she knew when a storm was coming or when an animal nearby needed her. Something dark and frightening tethered her to the root cellar, tearing through her dreams with blood and teeth, and she didn’t know how she’d ever be ready to face it.