The Blood Forest (Tree of Ages #3)(31)

She took it, smiling up at him, melting his icy heart . . . just a bit.

“Though riding will be treacherous for a time,” he continued. “The snow will disguise the lower areas and holes in the ground, so we’ll need to be cautious of where we ride. We’ll make for Badenmar, and hope it has not been . . . affected.”

Iseult watched as Finn glanced across the fire at Kai, meeting his gaze. The three of them remembered well what happened the last time they were in Badenmar. That was the night Kai and Anna had first kidnapped Finn. No such thing would happen this time.

Ealasaid and Bedelia left the group, heading toward where the horses were tethered. A few minutes later they returned with hard bread and dried fruits, passing them out to everyone in the group. Bedelia did not meet Iseult’s eyes when she handed him his portion.

Anna peered at the two empty bedrolls, confused.

“I did not see them depart,” he explained, stepping up beside her, “but I doubt it was long after everyone went to sleep. I do not believe they will return.”

Maarav stepped up on his other side. “Those blighted, worthless midges,” Maarav hissed, staring at the space his men should have occupied. “They could have at least challenged me, rather than running away in the night like cowards.”

Iseult simply looked at him, attempting to divine whether or not he was just playing at being surprised, then turned away. It did not matter if he acted. Iseult was watching him regardless. Perhaps they’d go outside and find the men eaten by wolves, and the riddle would be solved.

After everyone had eaten their small meals and attended to their morning duties, they prepared the horses and set out. Finn had attempted to climb onto Bedelia’s horse, but Iseult stopped her, requesting that she ride with him instead. Kai commented on the human and wolf prints near the door, though neither Iseult nor Bedelia offered to explain.

The castle grew small behind them as they rode across the frozen landscape, glittering fiercely in the early morning sun.

“It’s beautiful,” Finn muttered softly near his ear. Her arms were wrapped loosely around his waist, keeping herself steady as his horse trudged through the deep snow.

While he’d requested she ride with him in part to keep her away from Bedelia, he also trusted his horse more than the others to not lose its footing in the snow. Her added warmth at his back was merely a bonus.

“Do you have any memories of the snow?” he asked, knowing that she returned to the human world after the snows had passed for the season.

She sighed. “I remember the snow when I was a tree, but not before. Though, sometimes I see it in my dreams. I see it just like this,” she removed one arm from his waist to gesture at the glittering landscape, then quickly resumed her hold as their mount lurched forward into a hidden dip.

“What do you think it means?” he asked gently. While he didn’t necessarily mind the crisp air biting into his skin, they should have been feeling comforting rays of warmth, given the season. He’d seen Faie magic before, but he was not sure even the Faie were capable of covering the land in ice.

“I wish I knew,” she replied. “I wish I knew a lot of things. If only I could speak once more with my-” she cut herself off, as if only then realizing she’d been speaking her thoughts out loud.

“Your mother,” he finished for her. She’d told him about her encounter with her mother. She wasn’t sure if it had been a dream, or some alternate reality, but her mother had warned her of great danger, and had advised her to stay near Iseult’s side. Her mother had also implied she had been hiding Finn from their tribe, the Cavari.

Finn was silent for several seconds before replying, “Yes. I just wish she could explain things to me. I wish anyone could. For some reason, this snow makes me feel like a child again, but I do not understand why. I don’t even remember anything about being a child. I just . . . I feel like it means . . . something.”

“It will come to you in time,” he offered, hoping to comfort her.

“Will it?” she questioned, sounding almost hostile. “It feels like it’s been ages since I was a tree, and yet I’m still in the same place I was before. Searching for answers that seem to get farther away the more I look.”

He could understand her discouragement, but he also suspected she didn’t truly want the answers she sought. He suspected her missing memories were her own doing, a way to deal with the pain of losing her child in her previous life. She would never be able to unlock them if she could not accept that loss.

“I apologize,” she said in reply to his silence. “I should not complain. At least I now know who I am, though my people are strangers to me.”

He placed a hand on her arm and gave it a squeeze. Though he was unused to displaying any sort of affection, he felt she needed it. “Knowing who you are is the most important part.”

“Yes, you’ve taught me that,” she replied playfully. “And after that, I suppose it’s knowing who your friends are?”

He chuckled, another rare event. “Yes, you have taught me that.”

They rode on in companionable silence after that, while their party members occasionally complained about the snow. There were no complaints on Iseult’s mind though, for the snow suddenly seemed a little less cold, or perhaps it was just the effect of the warm presence at his back.