The Art of Losing(39)

“Patriotic,” he said dryly. “U-S-A . . . U-S-A . . .”

I smirked. “Don’t get too excited. The sprinkles are already melting from this heat.”

I didn’t mention that I’d also brought a blanket, but a scratchy one so we wouldn’t be too comfortable. I was determined to keep this friendly tonight.

But when Raf snuck a glance at me, his eyes roving over my bare legs before turning back to the road, my stomach fluttered, and I knew he didn’t feel the same way. My plan to keep things platonic suddenly felt muddled as I wondered how committed I really was to it.

“So how is everything?” Raf asked over the rushing wind and the roar of the Jeep’s engine. “With Audrey?”

“Actually, she’s started waking up a little, opening her eyes and everything.”

He smiled so wide and for so long I worried bugs might get stuck in his teeth.

“That’s great!” he said. “How does she seem?”

I couldn’t manage the same enthusiasm. “It’s hard to say. She hasn’t been awake long enough to be truly conscious of what’s going on. She hasn’t spoken yet, anyway.”

He glanced at me for a second, but he nodded. “She will, soon,” he said. “She’s strong.”

I nodded back, wishing I shared his certainty, and closed my eyes as he shifted into a higher gear, the wind blasting in my face. The night air had cooled at least.

A few minutes later, we pulled into the high school parking lot—the local public school where Raf went. The sun still hadn’t set fully, and the twilight sky was like a countdown clock for when the fireworks would start. Raf and I got out and walked through a full lot of cars, out onto the football field. It was a neighborhood tradition, so hundreds of families sat with their picnic dinners spread around them, their kids running around, chasing each other and screaming.

I found a small empty patch and spread out the blanket. But once we were side by side, we fell silent for a few awkward moments. The memory of our kiss hung in the air between us like static electricity.

“Cookie?” I offered, opening the tote bag and taking out the container. Raf reached for the sparkling cider and poured two cups, then clinked his plastic cup against mine. At least now our mouths were full.

After draining his cup, Raf lay back on the blanket and looked up at me.

“Lie down,” he said. “It’s nice down here.”

Holding my breath, I clumsily squeezed next to him on the blanket and crossed my arms over my chest to leave a few inches of space between us. Then I exhaled, trying to relax. It did feel a little quieter and more secluded, being so low to the ground. The sky above us was darkening quickly. It was a cloudless night, but there weren’t any stars past the bright lights on the football field.

Raf opened his mouth to say something, but just then the floodlights over the field shut off, plunging the area into darkness. A hush fell as the first of the fireworks flew, releasing a high-pitched scream before it exploded in a shower of red sparks. The crowd “oohed.” Another went off, and another, and soon the sky was full of light. Gradually, I felt my muscles loosen, and I let my arms fall to the blanket. I could feel the heat from Raf’s arm next to mine.

I had always been a sucker for fireworks, and there’s no better way to watch them than lying on the ground as they explode directly above. I glanced over at Raf a few times. He was smiling just as widely as I was.

After what felt like only a few minutes, the grand finale began, and I felt Raf’s fingers lace through mine. My heart started beating double-time. But I didn’t pull away until the show was over and the sky was thick with smoke. The crowd around us began to stand and disperse, and it would be weird to stay and keep lying there. But in the parking lot, Raf reached for my hand again and pulled me to a stop next to the Jeep.

“Close your eyes,” he said, uncurling my fingers.

I looked at him skeptically. Still, I did as he asked. He placed something long, thin, and metallic in my open palm.

“Okay, open,” he said.

I opened my eyes and looked down. “A sparkler?”

He nodded with an impish smile. “Who doesn’t like to play with fire?”

I laughed, surprised and relieved. I’d assumed he was going to kiss me. Maybe I was hoping he would.

I watched as he pulled out a lighter and lit the end of my sparkler. Then he lit one of his own, and we stood in the parking lot, writing our names in light. My lips curled up when I saw him trace a heart in the instant before my sparkler died, followed by his. And all that remained were the streaks in my vision, remnants that faded quickly.

Suddenly I noticed that a crowd of kids had gathered around to watch, mesmerized. I turned toward the Jeep, assuming they’d scatter now that the show was over, but when I glanced back, Raf was distributing sparklers to them all.

“Stand in a line and put your arms out!” he called. Once they were spaced far enough apart, he walked down the line, lighting each sparkler. The kids squealed as the sparklers lit up their grinning faces. Raf grinned just as widely.

I couldn’t help remembering the last time I’d seen Mike around kids. Cassidy was babysitting her brothers, who were three and six at the time. I’d gone over to help her study for our geometry test, but Mike and I had just been to the comic book shop. It had only taken Loren five minutes before he had torn the bag off of Mike’s near-mint issue of Superior Spider-Man #1 and crumpled half of its pages. It had taken twenty minutes and a red popsicle to get Loren to stop crying after Mike had screamed at him.