The Art of Losing(27)

He shrugged, but I saw the dark shadows under his eyes, indicating that it had gone late and there had been plenty to drink.

“Same old, same old,” he said. Then he reached for my waist and pulled me against him. “I missed you, though.”

I smiled up at him. “I missed you,” I said. And I had. I’d spent the night watching half of a season of Orphan Black, which I’d already seen several times before. I hadn’t been bored, but I did think about him. Maybe worried a little bit that I wasn’t there to police him, to keep him from doing something stupid.

I hadn’t regretted skipping the party until just that moment, though. Now I longed for Mike’s comforting embrace, his warm smile and his familiar kisses, I wished I’d been with him.

He herded me toward the basement stairs, and I smiled up at him. “How did you know my parents aren’t home?” I asked.

“I saw them,” he said. “They were leaving the neighborhood as I drove in. I don’t think they saw me, though.”

“What timing,” I said as we headed down the stairs.

As we sat on the couch, Mike pulled something out of his pocket. It was a small navy-blue velvet box. A jewelry box.

“Michael, what is that?” I asked warily.

My stomach jumped into my throat as he got down on one knee in front of me.

“What are you doing?”

Mike just shushed me. “Harley Quinn,” he said, “I have loved you for two years exactly as of today. And I plan to love you for many, many more. Will you continue being my girlfriend?”

My stomach dropped. I had forgotten our anniversary.

Part of me was thinking that I was a horrible, selfish girlfriend. Mike snapped open the box and held it in front of me, proudly displaying what was inside: a silver necklace with a pendant in the shape of the jester’s hat. The original Harley Quinn’s hat. I still hadn’t told him I didn’t like Harley; I liked his attachment to her, and me, too much. But another part of me was thinking that he should have realized by now that I didn’t like Harley. He should have figured it out long ago.

“You are too sweet,” I said, leaning forward to kiss him. “And I love you.”

He slid into the seat beside me and put the necklace around my neck, kissing the nape lightly as he clasped it.

“Thank you,” he said against my skin.

“For what?” I said, turning to look at him. “You’re the one who bought me a present. I should be thanking you.”

Mike shook his head, a serious firmness in his full lips and a hint of sadness in his eyes. “I’m lucky to have you,” he said quietly. “I know that.”

“Maybe we’re lucky to have each other,” I said. And tried to tell myself I believed it.





Chapter Eight



The next morning, I stopped by the hospital, but Mom was giving Audrey a sponge bath and washing her hair, which was a lengthy and embarrassing process for everyone present. Audrey would’ve hated it if she’d known what was happening. I guess it was the only upside to her not waking up.

I went to Cassidy’s house instead. From the front steps, I could hear Morgan screaming, but I couldn’t hear about what. So instead of knocking or ringing the doorbell, I texted Cassidy. She came outside a minute later, and we sat on the front porch. I wished I’d thought to bring coffee. We both looked pretty ragged.

“You have impeccable timing,” she said as she threw a pointed look over her shoulder. Morgan was glaring out at us through the window next to the door.

I bared my teeth at her. She rolled her eyes and stormed away.

“So, that screaming was aimed at you?” I said.

Cassidy seemed a little reluctant to talk. She scrubbed her hands down her face.

“Remember when Audrey was about to be a freshman?” she finally said. “She thought she was such hot shit, and we had to kindly teach her that, in fact, she was about to be dog shit on the bottom of the seniors’ shoes.”

I nodded, not really grasping what she was getting at.

“I was trying to explain this same principle to The Nuisance—for her own benefit—while she was attempting to borrow some of my clothes.” Cassidy managed a wry grin. “She really took issue with it.”

She and Morgan had never had the same relationship Audrey and I had. “The Nuisance” was not a term of endearment. There was too much distance between them. But I still felt a twinge in the center of my chest when I realized why Cassidy didn’t want to talk about it with me. It was such normal sister stuff. And something I might never have again: a fight with my little sister.

“Do you feel like getting out of the house?” I offered.

She nodded enthusiastically.

“It involves baseball, though.”

Her head stilled.

“And twelve-year-old and eighteen-year-old boys. Specifically, Spencer and Raf.”

Cassidy’s gaze turned stony. “Why, exactly?” she asked skeptically.

“I’m watching Spencer and so, obviously, baseball.” Cassidy nodded again. “And Raf—”

“Out with it,” she interrupted.

“We’ve kind of . . . reconnected,” I said. “We’ve hung out a couple of times. For very short periods.” I hesitated. “Just give him a chance, okay?”