Sweet Liar (Candy #2)(64)

“Did Jonah do that to you?” he asked.

My eyes flared wide. “No. Of course not.” I released a heavy sigh. I really needed my friend right now. My best friend.

“We’d better sit down. I have a lot to tell you.”

When I finished relating everything to Theo, he said, “Vantablack? He seriously called it that? So you’re saying your father is a spy?”

“Sort of.” I shrugged. “He never told me what his actual job title was.”

“And Jonah and Heather’s fathers are too?”

“I think Jonah said both Heather’s parents are, and I guess they’re important or something. But you’re not supposed to know that either. You’re not supposed to know any of this.”

“This is a joke, right?” He made a show of scanning the room. “There are cameras hidden in here.”

I shook my head solemnly. “No joke.”

Theo looked at the marks on my neck and sobered. “Explain it to me again. Who the hell did that to you and why?”

I told him about Victor again, and this time he made no jokes. Theo was the most serious I’d ever seen him, for about ten seconds.

“You know how nuts this sounds,” he said. “I can’t believe you never told me about your father. Not even when we went to see American Sniper together.”

“What does that have to do with anything? My father’s not a sniper.” At least, I didn’t think so.

“But still, you might have brought it up. ‘Guess what? My dad kills people too.’”

I rolled my eyes. “Right. ‘Hey, my dad’s an assassin. Let’s go get some milkshakes.’”

He chuckled. “I probably would have called bullshit.”

“You would’ve asked me if I forgot my meds that morning.”

Still smiling, he nodded. Things got quiet for a moment before he asked, “So Jonah really hit his own father for you?”

I nodded. He more than hit him, and we had no idea if Victor was okay or not.

“Good,” he said flatly, his tone telling me he was prepared to dislike Jonah if he’d done anything less. “And your father really turned traitor to save your mother?”

I nodded again. “The treatment gave her two more years after the doctors said there wasn’t anything else they could do. They only gave her three to six months.”

“Like me,” he said quietly.

“Like you,” I said, and something in my tone or expression must have told him what I was thinking.

“No, Candy.” He placed his hand on my arm. “I’ve been to all the best doctors. I’ve tried all the treatments. I’m done with that roller coaster, and I have zero interest in getting back on it.”

My lips tightened. “I want to find it for you. Once I do, then you can decide.”

“You’re not hearing me. I’m done with that. I want to think about life. I want to live and stop feeling like shit trying to live longer. Can’t you understand that?”

I understood, but I didn’t want to. How was giving up ever the right thing to do? I didn’t tell him that, though. Instead I nodded and looked away so he wouldn’t see the devastation in my eyes. I wanted to help him so badly. I wanted to save him.

“So, tell me about you and Jonah. How do you feel about him now?”

He wanted to change the subject. I let him, for now. “I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Actually, that’s not true. I do know. I forgive him. I feel like I shouldn’t, like it’s naive of me, but after what he did last night, I can’t help it. I forgive him, and I trust him too.”

“So you like him again.”

Biting my lip, I nodded.

Theo sat back and eyed me smugly. “I think you more than like him.”

“Maybe,” I said softly. “I asked him what he would do if he were in my father’s position. If given the chance to save someone he loved, would he take it, no matter the price? His answer was, ‘I think I just did.’ He meant me, Theo. He meant when he saved me from his father.”

A smile curled Theo’s lips.

“But he didn’t actually say I love you or anything,” I was quick to add. “He might not have even realized what he said.”

Theo angled a stern look at me. “You don’t want him to love you?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“I don’t know.” I huffed out a breath, thinking how silly it was for me to make so much of this. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

“Do you love him?”

Definitely not, my subconscious answered for me. How could I? I hated him only a few hours ago. But I never really hated him, so maybe I could love him. The fact was, I thought I already might.

I released a slow breath because that question was more complicated than it seemed. I could count on one hand the people I’d loved in my life. My father, my mother, and Theo. The kind of love he was talking about was different, though. I’d never felt that before, and I didn’t know if I would recognize it if I did.

“Candy.” Theo took my hand. “You don’t have to answer that.”

I bit my lip, wishing my feelings were simpler. Jonah and I had been through so much, and there was so much more to overcome. The way I felt about him seemed beside the point. Did I love him? I liked him, a lot. But love? Just the thought of it made me want to cry. Love was hard, and I didn’t want my life to get any harder.