Summer Heat (Cruel Summer #1)(12)

The one usually reserved for punishment.

I gritted my teeth. My heart and brain at war with each other.

Part of me realized it was ridiculous. I was twenty-two. Supposed to be a grown ass adult, and still I was fixated on making her life hell. Cease fire? It should be that easy. To just stop hating someone. But the minute you allow hate in, it sinks its talons into your soul and promises relief if you just let it stay.

So I did.

And now it demanded to be fed.

She was everything to me.

I’d been half obsessed with her throughout my life.



“You look funny,” she said in a haughty voice even at six years old.

I self-consciously patted down my long hair and shrugged. “Well, you have ugly metal in your mouth. Metal mouth!”

“That the best you got?” She sneered.

“Yeah.” I said with a laugh.

She joined in and then wrapped an arm around my scrawny body. “Do you like to swim?”



We were friends for one summer, the summer before everything changed, before everyone started caring about clothes, body types, cliques.

I shook my head in disgust and looked away from the cabin. I didn’t have time to think about where things went wrong or how it was even fixable. Brax was right.

My best bet was to use her as a human shield while simultaneously getting my revenge. Maybe it would make the pain go away. The pain of rejection, of never being enough, of trying with everything in you, holding hope close to your chest, and then getting it ripped from you by the very person who gave it to you in the first place.

The more I thought about it the more the anger burned in my chest like a searing hot flame.

Teens were already starting to linger around the mess hall. I shoved the front door open and made my way toward the coffee. At this rate, I’d need at least two pots of coffee before I could even function without yelling at the first person who said his na—

“Marlon!” Jackson’s voice rang through the nervous chatter from the campers. “Heard you had an invigorating shower last night.”

Damn it, Brax. Was it that impossible to keep his mouth shut?

“It was hot.” I filled my cup to the rim and then added three packets of sugar. “If that’s what you mean.”

Jackson followed suit and then leaned against the coffee counter. “So, she makes you hot and bothered, is that it?”

“Ah just bothered, actually,” I pointed out as Ray made her way into the mess hall and then locked eyes with me.

“Sure…” Jackson let out a low whistle. “If that’s the look of being bothered, you should go back for seconds. Lust looks good on you man. How long has it been?”

Too long.

A year.

I was tired of girls who wanted more commitment from me.

And to be honest nothing had ever compared to that one awkward night where I stared at her bra for a solid two minutes perplexed on how to get the hooks undone and get my palms on her breasts as fast as possible.

I hated that she smelled like sunshine as she made her way past me and to the coffee station. I tortured myself with memories of watching her walk to her car with coffee in hand. I’d take a breath only after she left, then walk to school savoring the flavor on my tongue.

I deserved to be shoved into lockers for the thoughts I had about her. On most days, it was a very critical balance between obsession and hate. Hate typically won out, especially when it was her boyfriend who was shoving me into said locker. She always looked away, like she couldn’t handle my pain and my embarrassment, like she’d break if she said one word.

Stop. That’s all I wanted someone to say.

Stop.

The thing is, people rarely think about saving the guy, guys are used to physical fighting. But all I ever wanted was the words, not even actions, just words. For someone to step in and say this is wrong.

Nobody ever did.

Maybe that’s why being Camp Director was so important to me. Because I had the chance to make a difference with nerds everywhere.

God help us all if I was the role model.

“You look nice today.” Jackson leaned way too close to Ray’s coffee, basically heaving hot breaths into it as he watched her stir like it was the most interesting thing in the world, the way her bracelets clanged against each other, the way she gripped the stir stick.

Idiot.

And yet I was fixated by the same movement.

I wiped a hand over my face. “Jackson, when you’re done being creepy can you go make sure that all the cabins are empty for morning announcements.”

He winked at Ray and then stood to his full height. “You got it boss. See ya later, Sunshine.”

I took a long sip of coffee and waited.

Waited for her to say something offensive.

Waited for the perfect timing where I could say something equally offensive back.

“You still drink it with three sugars,” was what she said.

I almost spit out my coffee all over her face. Instead, I choked it down and then flashed her a confused look. “How the hell do you know how I drink my coffee?”

She shrugged. “Probably the same way you know how I take mine.”

I rolled my eyes and smirked. It was impossible not to with the way she was grinning up at me like I meant something. “Oh yeah? And what makes you think I know that?”