State of Sorrow (Sorrow #1)(61)

The Jedenvat had chosen the district, and the venue, and Sorrow didn’t know if it was a good thing or bad. Senator Kaspira held the district of Prekara, and she’d never warmed to Sorrow, or her grandmother either, and Irris had told her it was because Kaspira didn’t think a woman should be chancellor, which Sorrow found somewhat ironic, given Kaspira was one of the most powerful women in Rhannon. So while this was a chance to win over a crowd that might mostly mistrust her, thanks to Kaspira’s influence, she also felt vulnerable. For the third time since they’d arrived, Sorrow crossed the room to peer at her reflection in an old, half-silvered mirror still mounted on the wall, nodded, and returned to her seat beside Irris.

She was dressed in a deep-red tunic over dark blue trousers, and every time she looked down she was surprised by the colour, despite Luvian’s insistence she wear something bright every day so she’d get used to it. She wished she’d never told him what had happened when she’d put on the green dress; the man remembered everything.

Irris had swept Sorrow’s hair into a sleek knot at the base of her skull and lined her eyes with kohl, gifted to them by Ines, who’d got it through her contacts. Finally she’d added a coat of dusky red to Sorrow’s lips. The idea, she’d told her, was to make sure she’d be seen all the way at the back of the hall.

Sorrow, who barely recognized herself in the mirror, didn’t think anyone would miss her.

Luvian’s eyebrows had risen the tiniest fraction when she’d met him in the hallway before the journey. His poker face was legendary; squeezing any kind of uncontrolled expression from him felt like a victory, and she was glad she’d caught it, had almost missed it as she’d been concentrating on navigating the stairs in her new heeled boots. He’d quickly mastered his face, casting a cooler eye over her when she reached the bottom, before nodding. Now he and Irris were sitting either side of her, Irris stroking her hand, while Luvian sat going through a pile of papers, pausing occasionally to add a marking to them.

“How are you feeling?” Irris asked.

Whether it was the hours of preparation she’d put in, the mask the make-up offered, or simply that it was too late to be afraid, Sorrow was surprised to find she was calm. “All right,” she said truthfully.

On her other side, Luvian put down his papers and leant over, placing a hand on her arm. “Sorrow, you’re going to be fine.”

“I said I felt all right.” Sorrow frowned at him. “I honestly feel fine. I’m ready for this.”

“Now don’t be cocky,” he urged.

Sorrow couldn’t believe her ears. It was unnerving to hear Luvian – wry, droll Luvian – be cautious, and she realized then she might not be nervous, but he was.

She pulled her other hand from Irris, and patted him. “Luvian, when am I ever cocky? I’m saying I feel OK. We worked really hard and because of it I’m ready. And it’s very rich for you to warn me about being cocky.”

He smiled. “I’m not cocky, I’m rightly confident,” he said.

“So am I.”

Sorrow stood, making her way to the door, barely stepping back in time as it opened and a middle-aged woman in a floor-length tunic, entered.

“Miss Ventaxis, a pleasure to meet you. I’m Ellyra Bird, and I’ll be introducing you and your brother today.”

“What?” Sorrow, Luvian and Irris all spoke at the same time.

Luvian rose smoothly to his feet. “What do you mean, Sorrow ‘and her brother’?”

“Mr Ventaxis is here too…” She looked between them, frowning. “To deliver his plans…”

Sorrow stared at the woman. She was mistaken. She had to be. No one had said anything about her and Mael presenting on the same night. It was one thing to run against him the election, but to be pitted against him onstage… Her hands rose to her mouth and covered it.

“No,” Luvian said. “We knew nothing about this. We weren’t told he’d be presenting today too. This is unacceptable.”

“I’m afraid it’s out of my hands, Mr Fen.” Ellyra Bird took a step back. “I’m sorry. I’ll give you a moment to decide if you want to proceed.” She left swiftly, closing the door behind her.

Luvian crouched in front of Sorrow. “What do you want to do?”

Sorrow’s sense of calm vanished, leaving a high-pitched buzzing in her ears as fear swelled inside her, making it impossible to breathe.

Luvian placed his hands either side of her face and gently turned her to look at him.

“You can do this,” he said. “It doesn’t matter that he’s here. It changes nothing. In fact, this is a chance to show them all that you’re better than him. To show him you’re better than him. These are your people, and you love them. Remember that. Hey –” he shook her slightly as her eyes slid away from his “– nothing has changed. You’re still as prepared. OK?”

Sorrow nodded obediently.

It wasn’t enough for Luvian, who leant in until his forehead was touching hers. “Say: ‘I did not put on this excellent outfit and get my hair done nicely to hide backstage from that upstart.’ Say: ‘I lied earlier, I am cocky, because I’m going to blow them all away out there.’ Say: ‘My name is Sorrow Ventaxis and I am going to be the next chancellor, deal with it.’ Come on, Sorrow. Say it.”