State of Sorrow (Sorrow #1)(115)

His words were so close to her thoughts about herself that she had to stop herself throwing her arms around him and telling him everything was fine. It was only remembering Dain that kept her from doing it. If he’d been honest from the start, Dain might still be alive. No matter how much Sorrow wanted to put the last few horrible weeks behind them, she couldn’t keep from seeing Dain’s hopeful expression as she’d offered her a new life. Dain had trusted her. And Luvian, and it had got her killed.

As though he could sense her thoughts, he stood slowly and walked over to her, kneeling in front of her.

“I shouldn’t have lied to you. It’s the thing I regret most in the world, and I will carry that guilt for ever. My only defence is that you wouldn’t have hired me if you’d known who I was. But –” the ghost of a smile played at the corners of his mouth, and something inside Sorrow loosened at the sight of it “– you can’t deny I was a good advisor. And great company.” His expression became solemn once more. “I won’t lie to you ever again. I won’t keep anything from you. I’m on your side, until the end. No more secrets.”

It was Sorrow’s turn to look away, scared he was going to ask her to promise, and knowing if she did it would be a lie, because she had a secret, something much bigger than his confession. It was that knowledge – that she too was lying about who she was in the hopes it would help her change things for the better – that made answering his next question easy.

“Can you forgive me?” he asked, hope scored across his features.

She nodded, and his face broke into a wide, beaming smile that made her heart flutter as her own mouth curved.

He reached for her hands. “Thank you.”

She squeezed them lightly, and then, strangely embarrassed by his sincerity, stood, returning to her dressing table.

The liquid had almost gone, only the smallest drop remaining. But crusting the glass was a powder, one that Sorrow knew without smelling it, though she did, flinching at the familiar pain in her head. Lamentia.

Luvian joined her, saying nothing as they both looked at the powder.

“You should tell Lord Day,” Luvian said. “This is enough to arrest Vespus, at least. The drug that killed the chancellor is the by-product of something only Vespus Corrigan can create. And he had almost unlimited access to your father. It’s enough.”

Sorrow shook her head. She’d had a better idea. “I want to know for sure whether Mael is or isn’t a Ventaxis. With everyone else dead, Vespus is the only person who can answer. So I’ll use this knowledge against him. Unless he tells me the truth about Mael, I’ll tell Charon. And Queen Melisia.”

“It’s not worth the gamble,” Luvian said. “Take it from me. Tell Lord Day.”

Sorrow looked down at the powder and ran her finger through it.

“No,” she said. “Not yet.”





Daughter of Rhannon

He didn’t try to persuade her, though his disagreement was obvious in the set of his mouth.

“When?” was all he asked.

“After the address to the Jedenvat,” Sorrow said.

It was the final part of the election. Usually the candidate would present their mandate to the Jedenvat at the beginning of the election period. But this year the public vote would be split between two candidates. And in the event of the public voting evenly for Sorrow and Mael, it would be down to the Jedenvat to make the deciding vote. So this year, it had been decided they’d present to the Jedenvat at the end, giving both Sorrow and Mael a final chance to bring them onside.

“Are you ready for it?” Luvian asked.

Sorrow nodded. She was. Irris had worked with her as they’d travelled between public engagements, until she’d created something she thought would appeal to all of the Jedenvat – even Samad and Balthasar. They’d want to feel their positions were safe under her, and she’d tailored her address to that end.

Whether she meant it was another matter.

“That’s politics in a nutshell.” Luvian nodded approvingly when she told him. “Meaning it at the time.”

“What do we do about you?” she asked.

“I want to come back,” he said instantly.

“How, though?” Sorrow said. “I told everyone you knew who my attacker was. If you came back you’d have to confess.”

He nodded, the light dimming in his eyes. “I could lie.”

“And say who?”

“Meeren Vine? You hate him, I hate him, my family hates him. Everyone wins.”

“I would have recognized Vine,” Sorrow reminded him. “And it would be too easily disproved.”

“Oh. Yes.” Luvian licked his upper lip as he nodded. “So, impossible, then.”

Sorrow reached out and squeezed his hand. “We’ll think of something.”

He laced his fingers through hers. “You don’t know how happy I am that there’s a ‘we’ again.” Then the sincerity turned wicked, his eyes glittering as he said, “And you are too, admit it. You missed me.”

“I did no such thing.”

He stepped closer. “Yes, you did, come on now. Life is more fun with me around. Say it. Say, ‘I missed you, Luvian’.”

“There is no way—”