Star Wars: Rebel Rising(56)

“Don’t worry,” she would tell Jyn every time the Empire came up. “We’re ants, remember?”

Which wasn’t really that much comfort to Jyn.

But Akshaya had gotten a new shipment order earlier that week, and she’d left on her run. And Jyn had known as soon as her freighter broke atmosphere Hadder would find a reason to take out the planet hopper.

“I trust you,” Jyn said now, propping her feet up on the console, “to use any excuse you can find to leave Skuhl. Which is why I have no idea why we’re still planetside.”

Hadder hummed to himself smugly. Jyn looked around for something to throw at him, but before she could find anything, the ship’s nose started to dip. Jyn leaned up, looking out over the landscape.

“It’s more grass,” she said, unenthused.

“I didn’t say it wasn’t,” Hadder said, initiating the landing sequence.

“You’re being all secretive about where we’re going, but it’s just another field. With more grass.”

“Isn’t Skuhl lovely?” Hadder said, flipping the switch that lowered the gangway.

Jyn still felt anticipation curling inside her when she headed off the planet hopper, but as she looked around, she couldn’t help being disappointed. Just as she’d seen from the cockpit window, there was nothing there but exactly the same type of field she’d seen every morning when she stepped outside her home.

“This way,” Hadder called. He had a bundle of cloth under his arm.

Jyn followed him across the gently rolling field. A blue-green pond glittered in the blue-green grass, and Hadder spread out a blanket for them.

“We came all this way for a picnic?” Jyn asked, plopping down on the blanket.

“Such a pessimist.” Hadder shook his head, smiling, as he laid out their feast—sticky handfuls of bunn coated in seeds and a small steamer basket of dumplings.

Jyn claimed the dumplings, stuffing two into her mouth at the same time and chewing as she poured juice for herself and Hadder.

“Classy,” Hadder said, smiling as he poked one of Jyn’s stuffed cheeks.

“So why are we really out here?” Jyn asked after she swallowed.

“I’ve been thinking of joining a group that fights the Empire.”

If there was anything Jyn hadn’t expected, it was that.

“They’ll let me fly. Mum still has the ridiculous notion that I’ll get sick and die if I go out, but I’m old enough now. I’ve heard talk about a recruiter in the system. I could find him. Join up.”

Jyn’s stomach churned. It was hard for her to imagine Hadder fighting the way Saw did, but she could absolutely see him in a Z-95, shooting down TIEs.

“What do you think?” Hadder asked.

“Why are you asking me?”

Hadder looked at Jyn, surprised that she was confused. “Don’t think I forgot the way you handled yourself in that alley. You never talk about your past, but I know you were a freedom fighter. What do you think about them? Should I join up?”

Jyn pretended not to care. “Do what you want,” she said.

Hadder set down his plate and moved closer to Jyn so he was facing her, his fingertips centimeters from her knees. “I’m asking what you think,” he said. “Could I make a difference?”

Jyn nodded mutely.

His eyes slid to a spot behind her, to the horizon and the sky. “Mum would hate it, but I could fly with them,” he said, mostly to himself. “She’s so in love with this idea of not being noticed by the Empire, but we both know that’s not going to last.” His eyes met hers again, and she saw something in them, something steely and fierce, and she knew if he joined this partisan group, he would be more than a pilot. He’d be a hero. “We can’t sit around, hoping we’re not stomped. We have to do what we can.”

Jyn’s eyes burned, but she didn’t let herself look away. She had believed for how long now? More than a year. She’d been with Hadder and Akshaya more than a year, and she’d let herself believe, like Akshaya believed, that they could be safe and hidden and left alone. And together.

Hadder moved even closer. His hand was on her leg, his face so close she could feel his breath on her cheek. “If I joined the rebellion, would you come with me?” he asked, his eyes searching hers.

She swallowed, hard, and emotion boiled inside her. “I can’t,” she whispered. “I—”

A rare frown marred Hadder’s face. “I thought—with your past…?”

Jyn’s eyes burned. “I don’t want to go back to that. This is different, and that’s good .”

“You’re sure?” Hadder asked. “You don’t even want to talk to my contact?”

Something crackled in Jyn’s heart—fear. “Your contact?” she asked in a cooler tone.

“Just someone I met at the diner. He was putting out feelers for people who may want to fly.”

“Fighting the Empire is about more than flying,” Jyn said. She drew away.

He closed the distance between them, pressing his lips against hers. The kiss startled her, but it felt natural, as if they’d been doing it for years. When he pulled back, he said, “If you’re not going, then I’m not going. I’d rather have you than the chance to fly.”