Star Wars: Rebel Rising(23)

“Can I come in?” Staven asked.

Jyn shrugged and turned away, flopping back down on her bed. Staven stepped tentatively inside the room—a rarity. The outpost was full of open doors, the bunkers always overflowing with people, the great room a mass of bodies—but Jyn’s room was hers , and no one but her or Saw was allowed inside.

“I thought you might want some supper.” Staven placed a bowl on the crate Jyn used as a bedside table. She didn’t look at it.

“He hates me,” she muttered to the floor.

“He doesn’t.” Staven said it simply, as if there was no question of it. But he hadn’t seen the disdain on Saw’s face.

“I could have done it right,” Jyn said, anger and defeat mixing in her voice. “It wasn’t fair.”

She looked up when Staven didn’t reply. He held her gaze a few moments, then said, “It doesn’t matter if it was fair or not. It only matters that you messed up, and doing something like that could hurt or kill a teammate.

“This life,” Staven continued, glancing toward the open door, where the sound of the others’ voices leaked through, “it’s dark. You know what I mean?”

Jyn shrugged.

“You can’t let the darkness overtake you.”

When Jyn shut her eyes, she saw the hatch, the one she had hidden in after her mother was killed, her father taken. She thought about the way day had faded into night, the way she had been alone for the first time in her life, the realization that the people who loved her best were gone and no one else knew she was there.

There had been a lantern. A little lantern, so dim that it almost didn’t matter. That little lantern had been her companion against the dark.

And then Saw had come.

He had come for her. No one else had. And he hadn’t left her. Staven knelt, trying to get down to Jyn’s level. “When I was learning explosives,” he said, “I miswired a detonator, too.” He paused as if carefully choosing his words. “But no one caught my mistake. Until it blew up. I hurt someone, someone on my own team. He lost his hand. And it was my fault.”

Jyn flexed her own fingers, wondering what it would feel like if they were gone.

“He’s never going to trust me on a mission now,” Jyn muttered, looking away.

“I don’t think he wants to send you on a mission.”

“I’ve been on missions before; I’m good enough!” Jyn jumped up, her hands curling into fists. “I am! So what if I made a mistake today, I know I’m good enough for another mission!” This wasn’t ego talking; Jyn knew she outmatched most of the regulars in the bunkers, and her mistake that day notwithstanding, she was more than qualified for her own operation.

Staven nodded slowly. “You are,” he said. “But I don’t think Saw wants to admit that.”





Saw sent Jyn on her first solo mission not long after that. She suspected this was mostly thanks to Staven’s influence, but perhaps it was Saw’s way of honoring her for her fifteenth birthday, an occasion that otherwise went unnoticed.

“We’re dropping you on Horuz,” he said. “That’s one of the dark planets we’ve been watching.”

Dark planets —Jyn knew what that meant. Sixteen planets on Saw’s list, each with communication blackouts and much higher protocols than the Empire usually placed on planets that didn’t seem that significant. Several of Saw’s missions had been revolving around the so-called dark planets, and Saw was convinced that it had something to do with Jyn’s father and whatever it was he’d been researching, but he rarely talked to Jyn about that those days, and he never mentioned his motivations to any of the others.

Saw held out an imagecaster, and a young man with two long dark braids revolved in the light. “This is Dorin Bell,” Saw said. “We think he was recruited by the Empire about a year ago.”

Jyn looked around the empty room. Who is this “we”? she thought.

“He’s been working with kybers,” Saw continued in a softer voice, and Jyn knew that she was hearing that only because she was close to Saw. He wouldn’t get so personal with others in his cadre.

When he continued, his voice was back to being full of authority and cold detachment. “I’ve gotten word that he’s going to be scouting the southern hemisphere of Horuz with only a small protection detail.”

“What’s my mission?” Jyn asked, staring at the holo of the man.

Saw shot her a look. He reached back and pulled out a modified long-range blaster rifle fitted with a sniper scope and an additional power cell that would overcharge the plasma.

Jyn stared at it.

“Maia said you would be good for this,” Saw said, doubt creeping into his voice.

Jyn thought of the target practice she’d done with Maia, the careful aim from across the island. She glanced at the image of Dorin Bell.

“What did he do?” Jyn asked. She meant, Why does he deserve to die?

Saw didn’t answer immediately, and when Jyn looked into his eyes, she was a little terrified of what she saw there. “Does it matter?” he asked in his soldier voice.

Yes, Jyn thought.

“No,” Jyn said.

Saw nodded, happy with her answer. “Staven will take you to the drop point,” he said, and with that, Jyn was dismissed.