Slayer(70)

“Artemis,” I say. She doesn’t turn around. “You know Honora is mixed up in this.”

“All I know is what I saw. You protecting a demon, and fighting Honora to do it.”

“That’s not what— She’s poisoning you against me!”

Artemis waves her hand, huffing. “She’s never said anything bad about you. You’re the one who hates her.”

“Because she’s the worst!”

“She’s the one person I used to be able to talk to. She’s been writing me for the last two years too, checking in. She gets it. She cares. She’s the only one who understands what I go through.”

Her words slice through me. Wasn’t I that one person? Weren’t we each other’s person? Becoming a Slayer has forced the truth about my relationship with the sister I love more than anyone in the world.

We’re not close.

And if things continue how they are, we never will be again.

I think about Buffy, the stories of all her broken relationships with friends and loved ones. Is this part of what being a Slayer is? A loneliness that goes down to the bone?

I swallow back the hurt, trying to figure out what happened between us. “What did Honora mean, that you didn’t pass the test because of me?”

Artemis’s face closes off as she turns to leave. “I’ll see you back at the castle. I have to figure out how to fix your mess.”

I sit on the floor of the shed. Cillian snores softly, smiling in his sleep. Should I follow Doug and Honora, make sure she doesn’t catch up to him? I’m still convinced that he isn’t evil. He ran away only because Honora showed up. He never even tried before. And while we were distracted, he had every chance to hurt Cillian and didn’t.

How much of a threat is Honora? She may not be a Slayer, but she’s got some kind of extra juice. And she knows so much more than she told us. Everything she said about Doug was a lie.

Plus, I still don’t know how any of this ties to Bradford’s death.

The only thing that’s clear is that I’m in over my head. I need Watchers, even though I don’t want to admit how badly I’ve screwed everything up. Not to mention the fact that I beat up another Watcher to protect a demon.

Oh my gods. I always thought I’d make better choices if I had the kind of power Buffy has. Now? It turns out I am just. Like. Her.

The least Doug could have done was give me a shot of happy too, because I have none of my own.





21


I TRUDGE BACK TO THE castle, dragging a still drugged-up Cillian along. For several minutes he points wordlessly to a particular tree, tears of joy streaming down his face.

Doug wasn’t kidding. He’s good stuff.

I keep an eye out for any sign of him or Honora, but I don’t see anything. She’ll catch him or she won’t. I can’t pretend like I can handle this alone anymore.

When we get to the castle, Rhys is outside practicing crossbow while Jade lounges in the shade with a book. I tug Cillian to Rhys and get the hard part over with first. “So, long story short, there was a demon, we were keeping it in Cillian’s shed, it drugged Cillian and got away.”

Rhys’s finger twitches, and his bolt lands dead center in the target. Jade looks up, surprised. “Nice shot,” she says. Either she doesn’t notice Cillian high out of his mind or doesn’t care. She goes right back to her book.

“Cillian can fill you in when he sobers up.” I shove Cillian at his boyfriend. Rhys stares at me, mouth gaping open like a fish’s, Cillian in his arms. I head into the castle, Cillian’s voice following me as he croons, “And I-I-I will always love you-oo-oo!” at the top of his lungs.

It’s time to come clean. But not to my mom or to the rest of the Council. I need actual help. Someone who won’t judge me for what I did to Honora. Someone who knows about being a Watcher in the real world. How complicated it can get. How messy.

Someone I hope will still like me after he hears what a tremendous mess I’ve made of everything.

I pause, about to knock at Leo and Eve’s suite. There are loud voices inside. Shouting, maybe? Or just animated conversation? I can’t tell. The door flies open and I’m face-to-face with Leo, my fist still raised to knock. His expression is a solid mask, like someone holding everything inside. I take an involuntary step back. But by the time I’ve done that, he’s smiling.

I’ve seen his real smile. This isn’t it. “Athena,” he says. “Hey.”

“Come in!” Eve Silvera beams. It can’t have been yelling I overheard. She looks totally relaxed. She gestures to an elegant tea set, and I take a seat across the table from her. Leo stays standing. I was only planning on going to Leo, but this is probably better. I’m in so deep, I need more than one Silvera to dig me out.

“I’m glad you came by,” Eve said. “I need to explain my reaction this morning.”

“Huh?”

“In Bradford’s room.”

“Oh. Right. Yeah.” In all the Doug-and-Honora drama, I had actually forgotten for a few precious minutes. Both that Bradford Smythe is dead and that Eve, my champion, didn’t believe me about my dream.

“I’m so sorry I acted that way. I couldn’t have your mother suspect that we’re training you. The easiest way to put her off our trail is by pretending like we don’t trust you as a Slayer. Really, nothing could be further from the truth.”