Shadow Scale: A Companion to Seraphina(92)

“L-Lucian?” crackled Glisselda’s voice. “Is that you?”

A relieved smile broke over his face. “Indeed! And also—”

“Thank Allsaints in Heaven! But who got word to you so soon?” she cried, her voice creaking tearfully. “I was just coming in to tell you myself.”

Kiggs met my gaze, his eyes wide and alarmed. “What do you mean, who got word to me? It’s been sixteen years since the happy event. That’s plenty of time.”

There was a pause while she made sense of his words. “You villain!” she cried. “You haven’t heard anything. You’re calling for my birthday.”

“Of course I am, goose,” he said.

“Would you believe,” said Glisselda, her voice quavering, “I forgot all about it?”

Kiggs inhaled sharply. “What’s happened?”


Glisselda burst out crying. “Oh, Lucian! St. Eustace has come for Grandmamma at last, rest she snugly in the arms of Heaven.”

“M-may she dine at Heaven’s table,” said the prince, staring at nothing. He rubbed his beard, then his eyes with a finger and thumb.

I watched Kiggs, hand upon my heart. Queen Lavonda had been declining since the events at midwinter, but it was still shocking to think that she was dead.

“She went peacefully,” Glisselda was saying. “I fed her breakfast, the nurse said she seemed sleepy at lunch, and then we could not rouse her for supper. She slipped away little by little this evening.” Her voice broke; she gave a tiny cough. “She has climbed the Golden Stair. Mamma is surely waiting at the top to scold her for coming so soon.”

“No,” said Kiggs gently. “Uncle Rufus won’t allow scolding. He’ll be waiting, too, with St. Brandoll and a treacle tart.”

“Grandmamma never liked treacle tarts,” fretted Glisselda.

“Believe me, he’s counting on that,” said Kiggs.

They laughed a little and wept. I quietly pressed knuckles against my lips. They’d lost Prince Rufus, Princess Dionne, and now their grandmother—their whole family in less than a year.

“Did you say someone was with you?” said Glisselda, suddenly self-conscious.

“Phina’s here,” said Kiggs.

“Hello,” I said, absurdly waving as if she could see me.

“Phina!” cried Glisselda. “Now isn’t that lucky? It does put my heart at ease, the pair of you there together, just knowing you’re both well and whole and … and alive. You’ll be home soon and then everything will be right again, or close enough.”

Kiggs did not answer, but closed his eyes and lowered his head onto his hands. I cleared my throat and said, “I’m ready to come home, Your Majesty. I’m homesick—”

“Me too!” cried the young Queen. “Isn’t that silly, since I am home? But it hasn’t felt like home since Mamma died, and it’s even grimmer with you and Lucian gone. Lucian, have you told her about Fort Oversea?”

Kiggs raised his head, as if to answer, but Glisselda cut him off, saying, “Fetch the knights with Lucian, Seraphina, and then come straight home.” Background mumbling interrupted her momentarily. “I’m being summoned. I have to sit with St. Eustace for Grandmamma.” Her voice caught again. “But thank you. You called at the right moment, making the unbearable somewhat more bearable. I’m so grateful for you both.”

She disconnected. Kiggs put the thnik away and sat holding his head, elbows on his knees. His shoulders shook. I folded my hands in my lap, wishing I could draw him close and comfort him, thinking maybe I should do it anyway, even though we’d promised each other not to. He was so adamant about being fair to Glisselda—and I agreed, in principle—but sometimes surely it was better to err on the side of kindness?

Alas, I couldn’t be sure it wasn’t the side of selfishness. I clamped my hands between my knees.

Kiggs ran his fingers through his curling hair. “Forgive me, Phina. I thought we could wish her a happy birthday and then have a nice talk, or …” He gestured bleakly toward the full moon, now risen above the rooftop.

“There will be time,” I said. “We’ll talk all the way to Fort Oversea.”

“Yes, we will,” he said, an unexpected bitterness in his voice. “That’s what I wanted. I didn’t have to come along with Comonot, you realize. He can handle himself. You could’ve made your own way home; the knights can find Goredd on a map.”

“You wanted to see me,” I said quietly, my heart sinking.

“And for my selfishness, Selda has to bear our grandmother’s death alone.” Kiggs stood and paced restlessly. “Even when I’m with her, I’m not. I know it was my idea to … to lie, but even a lie of omission builds a wall between people. I’m trapped behind it, unable to give Selda the unconditional support she needs.”

“You don’t need to explain it to me,” I said, folding my arms. “I’ve lived it. I’d half expected you to break and tell her the truth by now.”

He laughed mirthlessly. “Oh, I’ve considered it. Would that tear down the wall, though, or build it higher?” He trailed off, wiping his eyes. “How did you stand lying about yourself for years? You must have felt cut off from the whole world.”