Set Me Free (A Fugitive #2)(42)
Chapter 22
LUCY
He strode towards me as Elliot pulled away. I was kind of relieved we were on our own. I didn't know what to say to Zach and I'd spent the last hour-and-a-half sitting by his door trying to figure it out. I'd come up with so many different speeches they were now a jumbled mess in my mind.
In spite of this, I opened my mouth to begin. I had to get this over with.
Zach raised his hand.
"Before you say anything, can I just go first?" He tipped his head, looking sad and a little angry.
My stomach clenched, but I nodded.
"Lucy, no matter what you say to me right now, it's not going to change how I feel, okay?"
"Okay." My voice was barely a whisper.
Taut muscles that had been holding me together felt ready to snap as he drew in a breath.
"I'm—" He paused, looked up to the sky and then let out a breathy scoff as if suddenly changing his mind on what he wanted to say. "You know what, honestly? I'm kinda mad at you." His hands spread wide before dropping to his upper thighs. "I get that you want to protect me and my friends, I really do. I even admire that about you. But it just makes me so irate that you won't let me do the same for you!"
I swallowed, annoyed that I was finding his emblazoned voice such a turn on. His eyes were sparking like crazy and the way his muscles strained just made him look hot. I dropped my gaze, pinching the side of my neck.
"I want you to be happy. If I really think about it, that is ultimately what I want, even if it means losing you." His voice dipped, but then rose with passion as he kept talking. As hard as I tried, I couldn't take my eyes off him. "But I just can't see how you will ever be truly happy if you don't end this thing with Tenner. I want to set you free, Lucy. I care about you so much. And I hate that at the end of the day staying or going is still your decision. I want to tether you to my side, but then what does that make me?" His hands spread wide again. "Freedom means choice, right? And I have to respect yours, even if I think it's the wrong one." Sticking out his chin, he went for a brave expression, but his voice gave him away. The heated passion was nudged aside by a soft heartbreak that tore my insides to shreds.
"So I guess I just want you to know that if you're about to say goodbye, no matter where you run to, I'm gonna think about you and no matter who I end up with, I'll always wonder where you are." He met my awestruck gaze with a tender smile. "You'll stay with me forever, Lucy, because...well, I love you."
Tears were lining my lashes as I pushed off the ground and stepped towards him. My lips were trembling so much I could barely form a smile. Stepping into his space, I wrapped my arms around his neck and whispered, "I love you too. And I don't want to leave you."
His arms, which had slowly snaked around my back suddenly squeezed tight, hope strengthening his grip.
"If you're not beside me I'm thinking about you. I just want to be with you." I pulled back so I could look at his face. My hands rested on his cheeks, his rough stubble grazing my palms. "I know I'm stupid and slow and I have the role of scaredy-cat perfected." I grinned and sniffed at my tears. "It's just the risks are so high, you know. I can't seem to get over my fear of what might happen. But when I was making my way back here to get my stuff, I couldn't stop imagining what it would be like to leave you. Zach, it'd kill me. And I know that sounds dramatic, but what's the point of fighting for a life I don't want. Tenner has taken everything from me and I don't want him to take you as well. But if I leave, that's exactly what he's doing.
"Our plan tonight is not flawless, but it's a plan. It's a chance. So I'm here and I swear I'm not going to run again. No matter what happens tonight. I won't leave you. I'll do whatever it takes to stay, even if that means telling your friends."
His smile was dream like, so filled with gratitude his eyes were practically shining.
"Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you for staying." His hand cupped the back of my head, pushing me towards him. Our lips crushed together, our tongues finding each other easily. I ran my fingers into his hair, pressing my body against his. I couldn't get close enough as I lost myself in the kiss. I wanted to cling to him forever, freeze time and never look back...or forward. I just wanted to be.
But I couldn't just be until this was over...which meant we had work to do.
As delectable as his tongue felt, I forced myself to pull back. The way my limbs were tingling made it hard to think straight. I let out a breathy laugh, pressing my nose into his cheek and closing my eyes. I couldn't let his delicious scent and strong muscles undo me now. I had to focus.
Kissing him on the cheek, I wriggled out of his embrace and stood back.
"So, are you still up for tonight?" I put my hands on my hips.
"Are you?" He cocked his head.
My nose crinkled, but I nodded. I could do this. It was the thing I knew all along, but wanted to deny. Thanks to Shorty's training and Marlin's tricks, I could pull this off. Now all I had to worry about was keeping my boyfriend safe in the process.
Unable to control myself, I stepped back into his arms, pressing my forehead against his. Lightly gripping the back of his neck, I looked into his steady gaze. "Promise me you'll do everything I say."