Secrets & Lies: Two Short Stories(10)

“You said it was just because I’m her ex,” he said. “But Bianca and I barely dated. And we ended as friends. I just don’t think she’d have that much of a problem with it.”

“It’s against Girl Code,” I told him.

“So you’re never going to tell her?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“It’s just…” He paused, focusing hard on the road. Harder than he needed to, even. “It’s just that… I like you.”

“I like you, too.”

“And I don’t see how we can keep doing this—dating—if your best friend doesn’t even know about it.”

He was right. I knew he was.

“I’ll tell her,” I said. “I’ll… I’ll call her tonight and tell her.”

“Really?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

He parked in front of my house and glanced over at me. The smile was back. “Thank you,” he said. “I just don’t want this to be a secret. Even if it’s just for winter break, it means something to me. And I don’t want to hide that.”

I looked down, blushing. “You say some of the sweetest things I’ve ever heard a boy say,” I told him. “It’s almost like you’re a robot programmed to make a girl smile.”

He mock-gasped. “How did you know?”

I looked up and leaned in and we kissed. Just for a second. Then, teasingly, I pulled away. “We’ll save some for your Christmas present,” I whispered. And, without another word, I climbed out of his car and walked into my house.

An hour later, I called B. I felt a little bit nauseated. I just needed to make this call, like a normal person. Like a girl calling her best friend. No big deal. Then why were my hands shaking?

“Hey, Casey,” she said.

“Hey, B. Are you busy?”

“Uh, actually, I am,” she said. “Wesley just picked me up. We’re on our way to his sister’s piano recital.”

“Oh.”

“Can I call you back?”

“Yeah. Of course. Talk to you later.”

I hung up, feeling relieved and wishing I didn’t. B forgot to call me back. I never got up the nerve to dial her number again. Not that night. Or the next. I’d made myself almost sick with nerves. I wasn’t even sure what she’d do when she found out—yell, cuss, stop talking to me. It wasn’t her reaction I was afraid of, it was that I’d upset her at all. It was that I’d betrayed her.

I was supposed to be the loyal one. The protector. B was the one who screwed up, and I made it better. Ever since the day she’d fallen on the playground and I’d screamed at the kids making fun of her. That’s how our relationship went. I wasn’t supposed to be the one messing things up.

I still hadn’t told her a couple days later, when Wesley threw a huge night-before-Christmas-Eve party at his house. Pretty much everyone between the ages of sixteen and twenty who lived in a twenty-mile radius was there. Luckily, there was plenty of room, since he lived in a freaking mansion.

Plenty of room, but somehow I still felt claustrophobic. Maybe because Bianca and Toby were in the same place for the first time since that last party, where the whole mess started. I felt like a character in an episode of a bad sitcom, trying to figure out how to be with two people at once without them knowing about each other.

And if I’ve learned anything from sitcoms, it’s that the person trying to pull that stunt always fails. Miserably.

The first hour of the party was almost unbearable. Jess took off to go talk to Harrison Carlyle, convinced that—once and for all—he was going to declare his love for her. That meant all of B’s attention was on me, and meeting up with Toby—like I’d told him I would—was nearly impossible.

“You thirsty?” B asked as we walked around the party. “Now that Jessica has a car, I don’t have to be the DD all the freaking time and I kind of want a beer. Want me to grab you something?”

“Sure, I—” I paused, seeing an opportunity. “I can go get the drinks, though.”

“Well, I mean, we can go to the kitchen together,” B said, already starting to walk that way.

“Uh—wait!” I grabbed her arm. “There are two seats on the couch. Why don’t you grab them before someone else does? That way we have a place to sit. And I’ll get the drinks.”

“Okay,” she said slowly. “Sure. Why not. Just grab me a can of beer.”

“Of course! I’ll be right back.”

I took off toward the kitchen, hoping that it wouldn’t take me long to find Toby. Sure enough, I found him standing next to a cooler, talking to Vikki McPhee. She had a beer in her hand, but his hands were empty. He looked up and smiled at me as I walked in.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hi.”

I was scared that Vikki would stick around, but her cousin, Jeanine, called her away a second later.

“You’re not drinking?” I asked Toby.

He shook his head. “I’m the designated driver. I told Jeanine and Vikki I’d give them a ride home.”

“Mr. Responsible.”

“I can drive you home, too, if you want,” he offered.

“Thanks, but no thanks. I think Jess has that covered.”