Rogue Wave (Waterfire Saga #2)(27)

“We don’t know.”

“I—I thought maybe it was my mother or brother,” she said, her hope fading.

Mahdi looked at her, but didn’t say anything.

Serafina understood. She lowered her head. All these weeks, she’d refused to believe it. All these weeks, she’d held on to the possibility that her mother was still alive.

“Both of them?” she asked softly. “For sure?”

“We know Isabella is dead. We think Des is. No one’s seen any sign of him. You know what he’s like. He’s fierce. If he was alive, no one could have kept him from Cerulea. He would have taken on Traho singlehandedly. I’m sorry, Sera.”

Serafina nodded. Tears stung her eyes, but she blinked them away. “I never got to say good-bye,” she said. “To my father, to Des, or to my mother. She died fighting, Mahdi. Did you know that? She died protecting me. I wish I could say thank you. I wish I could tell her how much I loved her….”

A low moan of grief escaped her. Mahdi pulled her to him and held her tightly. She balled her hands into fists and pounded them against him. He took her blows and continued to hold her, rocking her, saying nothing, for there was nothing to say. Her pain was too deep for words.

After some time, he released her. “There is some good news,” he said. “About your uncle. There have been sightings, and talk that he’s—”

“Heading north. To the Kobold.”

“You’ve heard. Word must be spreading. I’m not surprised. It’s talked about a lot here. In the Golden Fathom. At dinner parties at the di Remoras’ and the Volneros’. The nobles believe he’ll return.”

“You go to the Volneros’?” Serafina asked.

Mahdi nodded. Serafina looked away.

“Look at me, Sera,” Mahdi said, turning her face back to his. “Here’s the truth: I kissed Lucia that night in the Lagoon, okay? It meant nothing to me. I’m still kissing her…”

Sera winced.

“…and it still means nothing. It’s part of my job. Verde wants me to play up to Lucia because she and her mother are close to Traho. I’m going to keep playing up to her until I find out if Kolfinn’s the one who’s backing him.”

“Do you think he isn’t?”

“We haven’t been able to create a clear trail from Traho to Kolfinn. The death riders—they’re not Ondalinian. They’re all mercenaries, bought and paid for.”

“So it’s not Kolfinn.”

“I didn’t say that. It may just be that Kolfinn’s good at covering his wake. That way, he can take over realms and all the while tell the Council of Six that he’s not.”

Serafina nodded.

“That’s why I hang with Lucia. I’m hoping to see something, or hear something, that will help us stop Kolfinn. Can you understand that? Can you forgive me?”

Serafina wanted to tell him no, until she thought of the drunken sergeant in the Lagoon and the dangerous game she’d played with him. She’d done what she had to do to escape. To survive another day. To fight for her people. And she knew she would do it again if she had to.

“Yes, I can,” she said.

Mahdi touched her cheek with the back of his hand. “I don’t want Lucia. I want you. I told you that two years ago and I’m telling you now. I’ve lost my parents. I may lose Matali. I can’t lose you, too. You have to believe me, Sera. Say you do.”

Serafina looked at him then, searching his beautiful dark eyes for the truth. What she saw in them made her believe. “I do, Mahdi.”

And then she was in his arms and his lips were on hers, silently telling her who he was. Hers. Always. And for a moment, there was no safe house, no danger, no grief. All she knew was the heat of his kiss and the feel of his heart beating under her hand.

Mahdi broke the kiss. “I have to go,” he said. “I took a big risk in coming here. But I had to see if you were here.”

Serafina, who’d been clutching his jacket, reluctantly let go of it. “I hate seeing this thing on you,” she said.

“Me too. Sometimes, when I first wake up in the morning, I don’t know where I am. Or who I am,” he said. “This uniform, everything I say, everything I do…It’s all a lie. Only one thing is real and true—my feelings for you.” He kissed her again. “Stay here where it’s safe, Sera. Please. No more trips to the Ostrokon. Promise me.”

“I can’t, Mahdi,” Serafina said. “I have to go back to the Ostrokon. I have to find some conchs there.”

“It’s too dangerous. Traho’s patrols—”

“—aren’t going to stop me. Traho was on my tail all the way to the Freshwaters, but I stayed one stroke ahead of him. I won’t let him catch me,” Sera said, bristling. “I have work to do here, Mahdi. Just like you do.”

“The Freshwaters?” Mahdi said, disbelief in his voice. “Sera, where have you been all this time? What have you been doing?”

Sera was about to reply when a thunderous crash cut her off. It was followed by the sound of splintering wood. The front door shuddered. Shouts and commands came from outside the house.

Mahdi swore. A second later, Aldo came barreling down the hallway. He picked up a heavy board that was propped against the wall and slid it into two brackets on either side of the door, bracing it. “That’ll give us a minute,” he said.