Rise (The Order of the Krigers #1)(58)

“We’re just discussing our future.” Vidar seemed unsettled and not his usual confident self.

“I … uh … ” I stumbled, trying to find the right words.

Vidar reached out and took hold of my hands. The gesture felt awkward, so I pulled free. “I need some fresh air.” I scrambled to my feet.

“You shouldn’t be out there alone,” Vidar said. “We can’t let Morlet kidnap you again.”

“I won’t go far.” I shouldered past Anders and ran outside the cave to the ledge. Not wanting to climb down the mountain in the dark, I leaned against the rocks next to the opening, inhaling the cool air.

“What did you say to her?” Anders’s voice drifted out to me.

“I told her what Grei Heks foretold,” Vidar answered.

There was a long pause before Anders asked, “About the two of you marrying?” There was an odd hitch to his voice.

“Yes. I’m sorry.”

It had been a long day, and I didn’t want to deal with this right now. The idea of marrying Vidar and having a child with him seemed ludicrous. We were just friends, and I wasn’t ready to marry.

“She has to retrieve her weapon tomorrow,” Anders said. “You should’ve kept your mouth shut until afterward.”

Yes, Vidar should have. I wanted to applaud Anders.

“I couldn’t wait. I needed to do it now, before she develops feelings for someone else.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Anders bitterly asked.

“If we have an agreement in place, it will prevent problems from arising.”

Anders said something that I couldn’t hear.

“Why are you so mad?” Vidar asked. “You knew this was coming.”

“I’m going to go and find Kaia before she is captured again.”

Anders walked out of the cave and immediately spotted me leaning against the rocky mountainside.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice low.

“I’m fine.” I felt like there was a brick wall between us—a wall that arose from my lie. I very much wanted to tear down that wall and to explain what really happened. But would he understand? Or would he belittle and chide me?

“You should go back in and get some sleep.”

“Just a few more minutes,” I whispered. How could I explain my relationship with Morlet when it didn’t make sense to me?

“What did you tell him?”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t tell him anything about you or Vidar.”

“What?” Anders’s eyebrows pulled together.

“When Morlet demanded to know who’s been helping me, I refused to tell him. Skog Heks tortured me because of it.”

He ran his hands through his hair, leaning against the rocks next to me. “You met Skog Heks? And she tortured you?” I nodded. His fingers curled into a fist. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice ragged. “I knew you’d been severely injured. It never crossed my mind that you were tortured because of me.”

I didn’t want to tell him about being locked in the coffin, or strapped to the table, or the water being forced down my throat. I especially didn’t want to remember Morlet paralyzing me so Skog Heks could beat me to the brink of death.

“If you ever want to talk about it, I’m here. I … I know what it’s like to be tortured.” His words were like a knife sliding over my skin. I wanted to ask him about it. However, if I didn’t want to talk about my own experience, he probably didn’t want to relive his either. “What I meant was, did you give Vidar an answer?”

“No.” Was it really even a marriage proposal? The chilly air whipped around me, and I folded my arms across my body, trying to stay warm.

“Why did you assume I meant Morlet?”

“All you care about is freeing the Krigers and killing the king. I assumed you’d be more concerned about what happened to me while imprisoned than my response to Vidar’s odd proposal.”

“You think his proposal is odd?” The corners of his mouth rose as he fought a smile.

I rolled my eyes. “I hardly think now is the time to get engaged, even if Grei Heks foretold it.”

Anders kicked a loose rock, sending it flying off the mountain. “Is something else the matter?” He reached out and took my hand, squeezing it.

“I didn’t heal myself,” I blurted, staring at our joined hands.

“I figured as much.”

The wall between us crumbled. Anders’s calm presence, his fierce determination, and his steady disposition empowered me. His hand was a lifeline. An owl hooted in the distance. The treetops below swayed in the wind.

“Did Morlet heal you?”

“Yes.” Admitting it lifted a huge weight that had been crushing me.

“I don’t understand. Why did he torture you, then turn around and heal you? Especially after you had already escaped? To make sure you didn’t die? Or is there another reason?”

“I’m not sure.” While running through the forest today, I’d gone over and over it, trying to figure Morlet out. He healed me knowing the physical toll it would take on his body. There was only one reasonable explanation: to ensure my survival so he could kill me with the other Krigers.