Remember Jamie Baker (Jamie Baker #3)(110)

“Thanks to Harper’s knowledge, we were able to sneak up on the five remaining superthugs on Donovan’s retrieval team and sedate them before any damage was done.” His face grew solemn. “Only two of them survived the withdrawals, but we were able to identify all of them. The three who didn’t make it were all military. Their families have been informed of their passing.”

My throat closed again. At least they were free of Donovan’s leash now, but my heart still ached for their families. “Wait, they’ve already been through the withdrawals? How long was I out?”

“It’s been four days,” my dad said. “Almost five.”

“Five days?”

Major Wilks nodded. “Whatever Betty did to your mind wasn’t permanent, but it certainly did a number on your head.”

No kidding. I was still feeling it like a nasty hangover. I looked up at the military leader, whom I’d somehow grown to respect and trust, and felt the weight of guilt settle on my chest. “I’m sorry, Major.” His brows lifted in surprise. “What happened with Teddy, my safety, Betty’s, Ryan’s…I jeopardized everyone. It was selfish of me. And stupid.”

“Jamie, you couldn’t have known,” Ryan argued.

“No, but if I’d stayed back like you both wanted me to, none of it would have happened. I made a bad choice. I’m strong enough to admit that I screwed up.” It took all of my courage to meet the major’s gaze again, but I did it. “I’m sorry I let you down, sir.”

Major Wilks watched me for a long moment, and then his face softened. “We all make mistakes, Angel. But not all of us can recognize or admit when we were wrong. That takes guts, soldier, and I’m proud of you.”

I rolled my eyes, but my smile still gave me away. My chest burned with pride at the compliment, even though I felt I didn’t deserve it. Major Wilks must have read my apprehension, because he sighed and said, “You didn’t let me down. You haven’t let any of us down. Overall, we recovered thirty-six of our missing soldiers and freed them of the nanobots. Chen is behind bars, and his lab has been shut down permanently. That is mostly thanks to you. We could never have done this without you. You are truly a hero.”

“A superhero,” Tyson corrected. “The most kickass superhero that ever existed.”

I cracked a small smile at his enthusiasm, but couldn’t hold it. “What about Betty?” My heart sped up as my thoughts turned to the woman I’d last seen collapsed in Tex’s arms. “Is she okay? She risked so much for me.”

The atmosphere fell even more somber. “We nearly lost Betty,” Major Wilks admitted. “But she’s better. Almost back to full health now. She’s resting it off in her private room. Natalia is watching over her. The girl seems to be the best medicine for the old woman.” He paused and looked away for a moment before meeting my eyes again. “We had to give her the last of the healing serum in order to save her.”

Silence fell on the room as everyone waited for my reaction to that. Admittedly, it took me a moment to process what he was getting at. The serum was gone. Which meant my memories of Ryan were gone with it. Knowing how they’d made the serum, there was no way I’d let them make any more. Ever.

I shook off all the looks of pity. “No, that’s good. Of course you should have used it to save her. I’d have killed you guys if you’d done it any differently.”

“Still,” Shortstop said softly. “We’re sorry there wasn’t enough for you. We heard what they did. That they’d…”

He couldn’t spit it out. I couldn’t blame him. It was a cruel fate they’d handed me, to deny me the one person I loved more than anything. My heart was broken over it, but the ACEs made the right choice. I could live without my memories of Ryan, knowing that Betty had been saved.

I met Ryan’s eyes. He was watching me closely, a hesitant smile on his face. I held my hand out to him, and he shuffled forward to tangle our fingers together. “It’s okay,” I promised. “Almost losing you changed my perspective. I really don’t need the memories. I wish I had them, but having the real thing is better. I get that now.”

Surprise washed over his face, and my heart melted at his hopeful expression. “We’ll be okay, Ryan. I’ll be okay. I have most of my past back, and that can be enough. I can let it go now. We can make new memories now, and that will be enough.”

My eyes glossed over and my voice gave out, so I stopped talking. Ryan pulled me off the bed and into his arms. As I snuggled against him, soaking up his support, he wrapped his arms around me. He even made sure that the back of my gown was securely closed—which was super considerate, I thought, since I was too distracted by the heat in his eyes to care whether or not my backside was on display.

He leaned his forehead down on mine and gave me a smile that set me on fire. “I am going to spend the rest of my life giving you so many memories you won’t have room for them all.” His mouth moved to my ear, and I shivered as his breath blanketed the sensitive skin there. He was so right about that whole heightened sense of touch thing. “Memories you wouldn’t be able to forget if you tried,” he whispered.

Judging from the heat in his voice, I knew exactly what kinds of memories he wanted to make with me. That terrified me slightly, but I trusted him. He would take care of me.