Rayne & Delilah's Midnite Matinee(85)

“In other words, you basically played a chess game in your head in like one nanosecond.”

“A chess game where one punch could land me in the morgue.”

“Wait, seriously?”

“It’s a worst-case scenario, but…”

“You risked death to put yourself between Yuri and me?!”

“I was not about to let him lay his hands on you.”

“That is ridiculously hot.”

He shrugs, self-consciously casual. “My favorite character in the Bloodfall books is Taaro Tarkkanan, this warrior who’s the personal bodyguard of the Queen of the Autumnlands. He’s sworn to die for his queen.”

I step in front of him and put my hand on his chest. (It’s a nice chest.) “Hey, stop.” I stand on my tiptoes and pull his face down to me until his lips brush mine. “I need to make you some pancakes,” I murmur.

???

“You know what I wish I hadn’t left in Divine’s car?” I ask, stopping to take off my heels.

Lawson smacks his forehead. “Your flip-flops.”

“Yep. I guess they’ll have to be Divine’s honorarium.”

“They’re not going to help him if he gets peckish later.”

“Nope.”

Lawson stops and pulls off his shoes and socks. He stuffs his socks in the toes and hands them to me. “Put these on.”

“What about you?”

“My feet are super calloused from fight training.”

“Your awesomeness levels are almost scary,” I say, putting on his shoes.

By about thirty minutes into our walk, the adrenaline and giddiness of our close escape have worn off. What’s replaced it is the sinking realization of what our failure with Divine means.

“You’ve been quiet for the last few minutes,” Lawson says.

“I’m pretty bummed out that Divine was such a disaster. Like legitimately bummed out.”

“I can imagine.”

“I made a big bet on this.”

“You’ll be able to save up money this summer.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“What do you mean?”

I almost say, Now’s not the time. Let’s talk about it later. But that’s the worst. That’s not what you say to someone who just risked his life for you. But I also can’t look him in the eyes. And then, out of nowhere, I start crying. I didn’t mean to. But the stress, exhaustion, and defeat of the night have overwhelmed me.

“Hey, now,” Lawson says gently. He hugs me to his chest, and I bury my face in it. He strokes my hair. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”

“What’s one more indignity tonight, right?” I say, half composed.

Lawson shakes his head. “You have nothing to be ashamed of. You handled tonight like a champion. You’re a fighter.”

I sigh and wipe away tears. “I don’t know. I made a deal with my parents. Remember that internship with Food Network I told you about the first time we hung out?”

“Yeah. That your mom hooked up for you?”

“That’s the one. I kinda promised my parents that if things didn’t work out with Divine, I would take the internship.”

“So—”

“So if I keep my promise, that means I’m headed to Knoxville at the end of summer.” I look up to see Lawson’s reaction.

“Oh.” His face dims. Like when you turn on a light in a room and something seems weird and you notice there’s a lightbulb out.

“I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to leave you and Delia.”

Lawson is quiet for a long time. I see his jaw muscles clenching. Finally, he says, “I never want to be the reason you break a promise.”

“The other thing is, after this weekend, I’m not sure I’m meant to be a horror host for the rest of my life. Walking around that convention—I’m just not a horror person. Not really. I don’t feel dedicated enough. I mean, do you have any doubt that being a professional fighter is what you want?”

“None. If I had doubts, no way could I do the things I do. It would hurt too much.”

“See? Plus, I know Divine was largely full of beans, but I believe him that he’s achieved as much as you can in the horror-hosting world. And it doesn’t look that great.”

“No. It does not.”

“How am I going to tell Delia?”

“It’ll come to you.”

“I feel terrible. I pressured her to go see her dad.”

“No, you didn’t. She wanted to go. I could tell. You just gave her permission.”

“It’s going to break her heart. This. We can’t tell her much about how gross a time we had. Delia doesn’t require much convincing that she’s a bad person.”

We walk along quietly, contemplatively.

“I’m gonna miss you,” Lawson says. “I wish we’d met each other sooner.”

“I bet they have fighting coaches or whatever in Knoxville.” Hearing the words out loud, I realize how badly I want them to take root in him.

“They do.”

I give him a few seconds to take the hint. “And?”

“And…I gotta stick with my coach. He’s a great coach. He and I have been working together since I started fighting. I’m super loyal to people.”