Puddin'(64)

Hannah shrugs. “Well, the whole no-meat thing is kinda pissing off my mom, which is sorta hilarious.” She takes a huge bite of pizza, and with her mouth full, she adds, “We’ll see how long it lasts. Plus Courtney says kissing a meat eater presents her with a moral dilemma.”

“The only dilemma I have is between pepperoni or sausage,” says Amanda.

“So are you and Courtney a thing?” I ask. “Like, officially.”

Hannah keeps on eating her pizza, but she can’t hide the blush in her cheeks.

I squeal and so does Ellen.

Hannah rolls her eyes. “Well, I wouldn’t give up meat for just anybody. And what about you?” she asks, turning the tables.

I clear my throat. “Well, Malik and I are getting together to work on a project tomorrow.”

Everyone lets out an oooooooooo, and I couldn’t stop the smile on my face even if I wanted to.

“Well,” I say, pointing to Callie, “this one was asked out just yesterday.”

Callie, who is still nibbling on her first piece of pizza, sets her slice down on a paper plate. “It was totally not a big deal.”

Everyone’s quiet for a moment, and the whole thing just feels awkward. I need someone to break this silence, and for some reason I know it can’t be me.

“Whatever,” says Ellen. “Don’t play it cool. Spill.”

I grin gratefully in Ellen’s direction.

Callie shakes her head, biting down on her lip nervously. “Just that guy Mitch from the football team.”

Ellen side-eyes Willowdean, who brushes the crumbs from her pizza on her jeans and says, “He’s a really nice guy. Like, way nicer than you even know.” She looks directly at Callie. “Don’t toy around with him, okay?”

Callie groans. “I already told him no.”

“What?” asks Willowdean. “Why?”

Callie looks up to the ceiling like the answer might somehow be written there. “I’m basically grounded forever.” She crosses her arms. “And I’m coming off a really bad breakup.”

“By the way,” says Amanda, “I saw that whole thing play out in the hallway, and you’re a badass.”

“Yeah,” says Hannah. “I heard you destroyed him. Pretty impressive.”

I nudge Callie with my elbow, and she glances at me with a shy smile. “They like you,” I nearly whisper.

Willowdean leans into the circle a little more. “And, um, I saw your run-in with Patrick Thomas the other day.” She nods. “That was pretty cool of you.”

“What run-in with Patrick Thomas?” I ask. All I can think of is when I confronted Patrick last week and she didn’t do a thing.

“Nothing,” Callie and Willowdean answer in unison.

I roll my eyes. “Y’all know that I know he oinks at me, right? Is that what you’re hiding? Just because I don’t usually acknowledge him doesn’t mean I don’t know.”

Callie turns to me. “Well, just because you don’t acknowledge him doesn’t mean I can’t.”

I open my mouth to politely explain why that’s not actually helpful, but Willowdean interjects. “Oh, y’all, trust me when I say that if you want anyone talking back to Patrick Thomas on your behalf, it’s this girl. She takes no prisoners.” Willowdean reaches across the circle to give Callie a high five.

Amanda gives me a knowing look. The two of us have spent the last few years ignoring all the looks and jokes from our peers. It’s not like we don’t hear it, but there came a time when we had to make the decision to pretend we didn’t hear it, or just let ourselves drown in it.

Callie turns to me. “He just said something stupid to me between classes, and I set him straight.”

I wait for a moment to see if she’ll elaborate, but she doesn’t. And truthfully, I know people like him will always exist. I don’t need the details. They don’t change anything for me. But still, a little bit of warmth tingles in my chest at the thought of Callie standing up for me.

That night, Amanda and Hannah sleep head to toe in Amanda’s twin bed while Ellen and Willowdean share an air mattress and Callie and I take sleeping bags on the floor next to the empty pizza boxes.

I can’t sleep, because it just always takes me forever to fall asleep when I’m not in my own bed, so I’m awake to see Willowdean and Ellen sit up in bed and do their best job of tiptoeing around as they gather their shoes and cell phones while still wearing their pajamas.

“Where are you bitches going?” Callie whispers next to me, scaring me a little, because I didn’t even know she was still awake.

Willowdean holds her finger to her lips, telling us to be quiet. “Our boyfriends are outside,” she says, so quietly it barely counts as a whisper. “We were just gonna sneak out for a little bit.”

I sit up. I don’t want them to go, but I’m also jealous, because what if Malik were here doing the same, and what if he was my official boyfriend? But I don’t want them to miss out either. “I’ll help you guys,” I tell them. “I know this house better than y’all.”

Willowdean looks to Ellen, who nods her approval.

“Well, I’m coming with you,” says Callie.

“I’ll be right back,” I tell her.