Playing for Keeps (Heartbreaker Bay #7)(84)

Another low sound escaped him and he wrapped himself tighter around her as if he could protect her in the here and now from the ghosts of her past. “How long ago?”

“Three years.”

His hands were gentle when he cupped her face. “Does that timeline have anything to do with why you hadn’t been with anyone in three years?”

“Yes.” She wanted to look away, but she couldn’t tear her gaze from his steady calm one. “I met someone,” she said. “Through my mom, actually. Wes was a lawyer.” She managed a small smile. “He was normal, at least compared to the guys of my past, the ones that were so bad for me, so I thought I’d give him a try. He was fun, charming, sweet . . . He wore suits.” She grimaced and let out a low laugh. “My parents adored him.”

She felt Caleb draw in a deep inhale. “What happened?”

“He . . .” She closed her eyes. “This is really embarrassing.”

“Sadie, it’s me.” His hands were warm and tender on her face. “You can tell me anything.”

Yeah, she was starting to get that. But she still couldn’t imagine telling him the whole story. “When he saw the tattoos on my thigh, he was fascinated by them, and I admitted that they covered my cutting scars.” She shook her head, still envisioning how he’d reacted.

“Tell me he didn’t care,” Caleb said. “That he didn’t dump you because of that.”

“No.” She actually found a low laugh. “He didn’t say anything about them at all. But as it turned out, he liked my dark side, a little too much.”

“What do you mean?”

“He, um . . . wanted to watch.”

Caleb went very still. “You mean he wanted to watch you cut yourself?”

“Yeah. I guess it’s a fetish thing.”

“Jesus.” Caleb dropped his forehead to hers. “Did you—?”

“No.” She swallowed hard. “Not intentionally. One night after a fight, I . . . I thought I was alone, but he’d come in and was watching. I . . . it was a private thing, I was feeling sad and vulnerable and a little down, but when I realized he was watching and was really into it, it freaked me out. I dumped him.” She closed her eyes. “But I let him set me back.” She shook her head. “No, that’s not fair. I set myself back. That’s where the third scar comes from. I fell back into that pattern for a few months before I realized that I’d let a guy bring me back to that place. So I stopped. That was three years and a lifetime ago. Or so it seems.”

“Is that why you specialize in tats for women and covering scars?” he asked.

She lifted a shoulder. “It’s not easy to tattoo over a scar. I just want to be able to do the same for others if they need.”

Whispering her name softly, he kissed her, sweet, lingering but just warm lips, no tongue. “Thanks for trusting me enough to share that part of you,” he said quietly. “I won’t ever break that trust. I know you’re not sure about us yet, but I’m sure enough for the both of us. You can take your time to tell me the rest, I’m not going anywhere.”

“How do you know there’s more to tell?”

“Because it’s still in your eyes.”

And he wasn’t going to push. He was okay with her having her dark side. He was okay with her keeping it to herself if that’s what she needed. She’d never met anyone like him. Going up on tiptoes, she met his kiss with one of her own. The kind of kiss that did involve tongue. The kind of kiss that led to soft moans and hot hands and losing clothes and rolling across the mattress to their mutual satisfaction.

An hour later, Caleb was sprawled flat on his back, fast asleep and maybe comatose. He looked sated, which she knew he was, and . . . content. And it was that which had doubts surfacing. He didn’t know it yet, but she wasn’t the right one for him. She was too jaded, too stubborn, too broken—

“I can hear your brain spinning,” he mumbled, reaching for her without opening his eyes. “What’s wrong? You hungry? You want to fondle me in my sleep? I’m here for you, babe.”

A smile formed without her consent at the drowsy quality of his deep voice. Even half asleep he was still in tune to her completely and it vanquished her wavering confidence. “I’m okay. I’m just going to go into the other room so I don’t keep you up.”

“Nope.” He’d already dragged her into his embrace and now he tightened his grip, settling his face in the crook of her neck, kissing her there before falling back asleep.

She waited until he was all the way out this time. With a sense of feminine pride for having put him in that state, she slipped quietly out of bed.

Her intention had been for some more of the leftover mac and cheese, but she slowed at the kitchen table because Caleb’s laptop was open, sending a glow into the room.

She didn’t mean to invade his privacy, but her gaze slid to the screen. It was open to his e-mail program and she couldn’t help it. One of the subject lines of an e-mail jumped up and grabbed her by the throat. She froze to the point she wasn’t even breathing. What the actual hell. Her feet took her closer until she was standing at the table, staring at the subject line:

Mercedes Lane, please read.





Chapter 27