Opposite of Always(41)

“What’s really going on here?”

“How’s that?”

“You’re waiting in the dark for me to come home. You’re clearly pissed off . . .”

“Not pissed off, Jack. Disappointed,” Dad says. He sips from his water. “And concerned.”

“Concerned about what?”

“This feels like a pattern. Your behavior lately.”

“My behavior,” I say. “I forgot to come home and help you move things. You could’ve just called me.”

“I did,” he says.

I pull my phone out of my pants pocket and realize my phone is off. Either I accidentally turned it off or the battery died. “Crap, my fault, Dad. I didn’t even realize my phone—”

“That’s sort of the problem, Jack. You’ve been doing a lot of forgetting, a lot of not realizing, and it’s starting to catch up to you.”

“It was one thing, Dad.”

“So you didn’t also forget about family dinner tonight? That your friends were coming for your mom’s chili?”

He’s right. I had forgotten. Two things in one night was a bit much.

“I’ll call Franny and Jillian. They’ll understand. We’ll do family dinner this weekend.”

“We already had family dinner, Jackie.”

“You can’t have family dinner without all the family.”

Dad shrugs. “Your mom and I made a lot of food. We didn’t want it to go to waste.”

I cross my arms. “Well, it sounds more like you were just trying to prove a point.”

“And what would that point be?”

“You tell me.”

“Jackie, it’s one thing to be wrapped up in this girl—”

“Kate. Her name is Kate.”

“—but not at the expense of the people who love you, who’ve been here for you . . .”

And I nearly say, She’s here for me, too. And we make each other happy. And that should make you happy, too. And I can’t screw this up, this chance to make things right, not again. Not when there’s so much to lose. Because almost won’t cut it. Because I’m not the guy who gets second chances, let alone at love.

But I can’t explain any of this to him. How astronomically high the stakes are. No one, not even my dad, who would want to believe me, could actually believe me.

“Of all people, Dad, I thought you would understand.”

“What’d you think I’d understand, Jack?”

“That sometimes good things happen in your life that you didn’t count on, that you can’t completely account for, but once they do, life is about embracing those things, about expanding your world, about . . . doing something bigger than yourself. I mean, look at what you and Mom have, what Franny and Jillian have. Why can’t I have that, too?”

“You can. And you will. But right now, you and Franny and Jillian are barely out of high school. You have your whole life to live, to find what truly makes you happy. There’s no rush—”

“Who says I’m rushing? Why can’t I have the real thing now? What if Kate’s the one? People act as though you have to wait for everything good in life. Sometimes good things happen earlier than you expected. Sometimes you don’t have to wait.”

“If you feel that strongly about her, how come you haven’t brought her here? Introduced her to your mother and me?”

Because I don’t want to share her. Because there’s only so much time. “What do you want me to say?”

“Jackie, we all love you. And believe me, we’re happy you’re happy. And we all agree Kate sounds like a great young woman, but . . . maybe things are moving a bit too quickly. Maybe . . .”

I polish off my grape juice, set my glass inside the dishwasher, and head for the stairs, not wanting to hear the rest of whatever he’s trying to say. Because it’s a refrain I’ve heard before. People always say they’re happy you’re happy until they’re afraid that maybe your happiness is affecting their happiness and then they’re not so happy about you being so happy.

Okay, that was unnecessarily confusing. Still, I think you probably get it.

“Like I said, I’m sorry I wasn’t here, I am. But I’m really tired. I’m gonna go upstairs and crash.”

“Right,” Dad says, softly. “Night, Jackie.”

TO FRANNY, JILLIAN: Hey guys, sorry about tonight. I totally got my days mixed up and I thought dinner was next week. Please forgive me?

FRANNY: Bro, you owe us BIG time!!!

JILLIAN: I’m sorry, who is this???

ME: I do! And I promise to pay you back WITH interest!!

ME: Ouch, J. That hurts!!

JILLIAN: Well, this number used to belong to our best friend, Jack, but he’s been MIA and we assumed he’d been vaporized from the planet, so . . .

ME: Actually, he has. And you’ve unwittingly exposed our alien plot to take over Earth. So now the two of you are number 3 and 4 on our To Vaporize List . . .

FRANNY: WTF? Who’s numbers 1 and 2??

JILLIAN: He’s going to say the president.

ME: The president.

ME: Hey! Stop acting like I’m predictable!!

JILLIAN: Believe me, I’m not ACTING.