On the Come Up(53)

He sure knows how to make me feel like shit. “I was only defending myself.”

“There’s a way to do it, Bri. You know this,” he says. “Now, I listened to your song, and I’ll admit, you got some dope-ass lines in there.”

My lips turn up a little.

“But,” he says, in a way that tells me to wipe the smile off my face, “although I get the song, now people are gonna take your words at face value. And let’s be real: You’re clueless about half the shit you rapped about. Clips on your hips?” Trey twists his mouth. “You know damn well you don’t know what a clip is, Bri.”

“Yes I do!” It’s the thingy that goes on the thingy on a gun.

“Sure you do. All that aside, this is a distraction on so many levels,” he says. “If you put this much energy into school, you know how far you’d go?”

Not as far as this song could take me. “This is our way out, Trey.”

He rolls his eyes. “Bri, that’s a long shot. Look, if you wanna be a rapper, fine. I personally think you can do something even better, but it’s your dream. I won’t get in the way of that. However, even if your song does blow up, it’s not the lotto. It doesn’t mean you’ll be rich all of a sudden.”

“But I could be on my way.”

“Yeah, but at what cost?” he asks.

Trey pushes away from the table and kisses the top of my head before he leaves.

There are only two people on the bus when I get on—Deon and Curtis.

“Bri, you really got kicked out of the Ring?” Deon asks, soon as I step on.

“Why, good morning to you as well, Deon,” I say, fake smile and all. “I’m just dandy; how about yourself?”

Curtis busts out laughing.

“For real though,” Deon says as I take my usual seat. Curtis happens to be in front of it today. “Did you really get banned?”

It’s like I said nothing at all.

“D, you saw the video, you know the answer,” says Curtis. “Ease up.”

“Dawg, some people think that was staged,” Deon says. “It wasn’t though, was it, Bri? You really be hanging with GDs like that, huh? You claim it or you just affiliated?”

“You know what? Here.” Curtis tosses a water bottle all the way to the back of the bus. “For your thirsty ass.”

I snort. Ever since he talked to me like a decent human being at church, my tolerance levels for Curtis have been much higher. I even laugh at some of his jokes. It’s weird. And I never thought I’d say this, but—“Thank you, Curtis.”

“No problem. I’ll invoice you for my bodyguard work.”

I roll my eyes. “Bye, Curtis.”

He laughs. “Cheapskate. It’s all good.”

“Whatever,” I say. “What are you doing on the bus this early anyway? You’re usually one of the last pickups.”

“Spent the night at my dad’s.”

I’m pretty sure my face says what I don’t. I had no idea he had a dad. Wait, I mean, of course he has a dad. I didn’t know he had a dad who’s around.

“He’s a truck driver,” Curtis explains. “He’s always on the road, so I live with my grandma.”

“Oh, my bad.”

“It’s cool. At least he’s not around for a good reason.”

I’ve always wanted to ask him something, but frankly, it’s not my business. Curtis kinda brought it up, so maybe it’s okay? “You don’t have to answer this,” I say. “For real, you don’t, but do you get to see your mom?”

“I used to go every couple of weeks. I haven’t been in months. My grandma goes every weekend though.”

“Oh. What did she do?”

“Stabbed an ex-boyfriend who used to beat her up. She snapped one night and stabbed him in his sleep. But since he wasn’t doing anything to her at that moment, it wasn’t self-defense or whatever. She got locked up. Meanwhile, he’s still around the Garden, probably beating somebody else’s momma.”

“Damn. That’s messed up.”

“It is what it is.”

I’m being super nosy. “Why don’t you go see her?”

“Would you wanna see your momma as a shell of herself?”

“I already have.”

Curtis tilts his head.

“Back when my mom was on drugs. I saw her strung out in the park one day. She came up and tried to hug me. I ran off screaming.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah.” That memory is still fresh. “It was weird though. As scared as I was, part of me was happy to see her. I used to look for her, like she was some mythical creature I wanted to spot or something. I guess even when she wasn’t herself, she was my mom. If that makes sense?”

Curtis rests his head back against his window. “It does. Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing my mom, but I hate that I can’t save her. Shit’s the worst feeling in the world.”

I can practically hear Jay’s bedroom door closing. “I get it. I’m sure your mom will, too.”

“I don’t know,” he says. “I been away so long, I’m hesitant to go back. I’d have to tell her why I’ve been away, and that shit wouldn’t help her at all.”