On the Come Up(36)

“‘It’s kinda strange how he gets in the veins and turns mothers into strangers who only share the same name.’” Malik finishes. “Can’t forget my ultimate favorite, ‘Unarmed and dangerous, but America, you made us, only time we famous—’”

“‘Is when we die and you blame us,’” I finish for him.

“That’s deep,” says Shana.

“Bri’s got skills,” says Malik. “So, I know this song is probably amazing. Just promise that you won’t act brand new when you blow up. I knew you when you were afraid of Big Bird.”

Shana snorts. “Big Bird?”

“Yes.” Malik chuckles. “She’d close her eyes every time he came on Sesame Street. One time, Sonny’s dad put on a Big Bird costume for Sonny’s birthday party. Bri ran away screaming.”

Shana busts out laughing.

I clench my jaw. That was not his business to tell, and especially not for a joke about me. “It’s not logical for a bird to be that big,” I bite out.

Really, it’s not. Tweety Bird? The love of my life. Big Bird? I don’t trust that ho. Plus, have they seen his nest? He probably hides bodies in it.

Malik’s laugh fades. There’s not a damn thing funny to me. “Chill, Bri. I’m joking.”

“Fine,” I mumble. “Whatever.”

I take out my phone, pull up the song, and hit Play.

Shana shimmies a little in her seat. “O-kaay. That beat is nice.”

My first verse starts, and Malik’s eyebrows meet. They stay together through the rest of the song. When it gets to the lines about the incident, he and Shana both look at me.

Once the song’s over, Shana says, “You did your thing, Bri.”

Malik bites his lip. “Yeah. Dope.”

That look on his face says more than he’s saying. “What’s wrong?” I ask.

“It’s just . . . you talked about doing stuff you’ve never actually done, Bri.”

“I think you’re missing the point, Maliky,” Shana says.

Maliky?

“She’s not saying she actually does that stuff. She’s saying this is what they expect her to do.”

“Exactly,” I say.

“I get that, but I don’t think a lot of other people will,” says Malik. “What’s with all the talk about guns?”

Oh my God. Seriously? “Does it matter, Malik?”

He puts his hands up. “Forget I said anything.”

He’s this close to pissing me off. “What’s up with you?”

He looks at me. “I should be asking you that.”

A waitress sets our piping-hot pizza on the table. We’re pretty quiet as we dig in.

After a little while, Shana sets her slice down and wipes her hands with her napkin. “I actually wanted to talk to you, Bri.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. About the other day.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah . . .” She trails off and looks at Malik. He kinda nods, as if he’s giving her the go-ahead. “A bunch of us have been talking about how Long and Tate seem to target certain students more than others.”

She may as well say it. “You mean the black and brown kids.”

“Right,” she says. “It’s ridiculous, you know? Of course you know now . . .” She closes her eyes. “God, that came out wrong. I’m the worst at this.”

Malik puts his hand on hers. “You’re good. Promise.”

I zero straight in on their hands, and my whole world stops.

He . . . they . . .

There’s something between them.

I should’ve known better. He’s the Luke to my Leia. Nothing more.

Shana smiles at him as he rubs his thumb along her hand, then she looks at me. I’ve somehow kept tears out of my eyes. “A bunch of us were talking, and we’ve decided that we’re gonna do something about this.”

I’m trying to remember how to speak. My heart’s trying to remember how to beat. “Something like what?”

“We don’t know yet,” she says. “Ever since the riots and protests last year, I’ve been inspired to do something. I can’t just sit around and let things happen anymore. We were hoping you’d feel the same way.”

“We’ve formed an unofficial black and Latinx student coalition,” says Malik.

This is my first time hearing about it.

“We plan to demand changes from the administration. Fact is, they need us at that school. They only started busing kids in from other neighborhoods so they could get grants. If word gets out that the black and brown kids are being harassed—”

“It would mean problems for Midtown,” Shana says.

“Right,” says Malik. “And if word got out about what happened to you specifically—”

Whoa, whoa, whoa. “Who said I wanna be the poster child for this?”

“Hear me out, Bri,” Malik says. “A couple of people recorded what happened, but only after you were already on the ground. I recorded the entire incident. I could post it online.”

“What?”

“It shows that you didn’t do anything to deserve what they did,” he continues. “All these rumors that are spreading are just a way to try to justify what happened.”