On the Come Up(101)

Wow. For once, I’m finding out when he finds out.

“Look, something may or may not come from my interview with Dr. Cook, but either way this will take some pressure off,” Mom says. “I told your grandparents I’d help with household expenses, but this would mean a lot less bills to worry about. Besides, we’ve been trying to play catch-up on rent so long that it’s almost impossible to catch up at this point.”

“But I’ve got us,” Trey claims.

“I’ve got us,” she says. “I appreciate all you’re doing to keep us afloat, baby, I really do, but this is honestly for the best. This way, I can go back to school and finish up. Once I do get a job, I can save up for a place. It also means you can go to grad school.”

He immediately shakes his head. “No. Absolutely not.”

“Why not?” I ask.

“The school is three hours away, Bri.”

“If this is about Kayla, if she really cares about you, she’ll be fine with that, baby,” Mom says. “Heck, she better be.”

“It’s not just her. I can’t leave you and Li’l Bit.”

“Why not?” Mom asks.

“Because.”

“Because you think you have to take care of us,” Mom finishes for him. “And you don’t. The only person you have to take care of is yourself.”

Trey slowly lets out a breath. “I don’t know about this.”

Mom comes over and lifts his chin. “You gotta go after your dream, baby.”

I get an ache in my chest. That’s the exact opposite of what she told me in the car when she said I couldn’t rap anymore. I mean, I get it. I’ve messed up big-time. But what makes Trey’s dreams more important than mine?

“You’ll never know what you could become if you stay here,” she goes on, and I stare at the rug. “I gotta be able to brag about my son, the doctor. They won’t be able to tell me a damn thing then.”

Trey laughs. “You’re gonna brag to everybody, huh?”

“Every damn body.” She laughs, too. “But first, you gotta go to grad school and get that master’s. Then that doctorate. You can’t stay here to do either.”

Trey groans and tiredly wipes his face. “That’s more student loans and more school.”

“But it’s worth it,” Mom says. “It’s your dream.”

He slowly nods and looks over at me. I try to keep my eyes on my Tweety rug. Don’t know if I should smile for him or cry for myself.

“Ma,” Trey says. “You gotta let Bri go after her dreams, too.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You told her she can’t rap anymore. You’re not even letting her perform at the Ring.”

“Trey, you know damn well why I’m not. You’ve seen the mess she’s gotten herself into. Then Supreme wants her out here, acting a fool. I’d be a fool to let that happen. What? So she can end up like your daddy?”

I look up. “I’m not him.”

Three words. I’ve thought them plenty of times. Honestly, people act like I’m my dad more than I’m myself. I’ve got his dimples, his smile, his temper, his stubbornness, his rap skills. Hell, I got his room. But I’m not him. Period.

“Bri, we already discussed this.”

“Discussed? You dictated to me. You wanna talk to Trey about pursuing his dream, but I can’t pursue mine?”

“Trey’s dream won’t get him killed!”

“Mine won’t either because I’m smarter than that!”

She puts her hands at her mouth, like she’s praying for the Lord to keep her from hurting me. “Brianna—”

“I don’t like what Supreme wants me to do,” I admit. I swear, I hate that damn song. “But this is the only thing I’m really good at. It’s all I wanna do. Can’t I at least see if I can make it?”

She stares at the ceiling for the longest.

“Ma, look,” says Trey. “I don’t like it either, I don’t. But this sounds like a big opportunity.”

“Yeah, to make Supreme rich,” she says.

“We can figure out what to do with him and all this image stuff later,” Trey says. “But damn. Do you really want Bri to spend the rest of her life wondering what could’ve happened?”

Her foot taps the floor. She wraps her arms around herself. “Your daddy—”

“Made bad decisions,” Trey says. “And yeah, Bri has, too—”

Was that even necessary to point out?

“But I believe that she’s smarter than that,” he says. “Don’t you?”

“I know she is.”

“Can you act like it then?” I ask, and my voice is super soft. “It’s not like anybody else does.”

This look of surprise quickly appears in my mom’s eyes. Slowly, it’s replaced by sadness and, soon, realization. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “Fine. Bri, if you wanna perform at the Ring, you can. But if you go out there, acting a damn fool, best believe I will snatch your soul from your body.”

Oh, I definitely believe it. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Good,” she says. “After this li’l performance, Supreme ain’t gonna be your manager anymore. Hell, I’ll do it before I let him.”