My Beloved: A Thin Love Novella(15)
He looked so beautiful tonight, a fact that only fanned her red hot anger from earlier, but there was no denying how tempting he looked—tailored Armani jacket, charcoal gray and soft to the touch that emphasized the wide width of his strong shoulders. This he wore over a crisp white shirt that made his dark skin seem richer, deeper and very tempting. His slacks were fitted, sharply creased and Keira could see the outline of his thick, muscular thighs through the dark material.
She had to blink to distract herself from the sight of him, from how beautiful he was and how delicious he smelled standing so close to her. “Keira…”
When he reached for her, fingers grazing her bare shoulders, Keira curled her arms around her waist, but let her forehead rest against his large chest. “You left me today, Kona.”
“I tried to get to you, I swear I did.”
“I’m not talking about the damn photographers.” She didn’t want to touch him then, didn’t want his scent, the feel of his strong body to distract her. She moved back, arms crossed tighter, and returned to leaning against the railing, putting a good two feet between them. “I mean the crowd, the parade, the attention. Admit it, you love the spotlight, and you love being able to share that with our son.” She didn’t wait for his response, but turned her back on him to stare out at the waves, ignoring his sharp intake of breath. “It scares me.”
Kona didn’t hesitate to touch her, to pull her attention back to him. His fingers were soft, easy as he held her chin and brought her gaze to his. “Why, baby?”
“I’m getting lost in the shuffle. It started before we came here. It started when you turned down Brian’s offer to coach at CPU.”
“I told you about that. It’s only temporary.”
God bless him, she knew he meant it. Kona meant a lot of things when he said them, precisely when he said them, but life, opportunities that rose out of nowhere, they often changed those lofty hopes into distant intentions. “It’s not temporary, Kona. It’s your life. It’s who you are. It’s who you’ve been since college.”
Keira didn’t like hearing the groan working from Kona’s throat. She didn’t like how he stepped back and scrubbed his hands down his face like he needed a second to keep his irritation in check. After a long sigh, he touched her shoulders again, his gaze intent, focused hard on her eyes. “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you, Keira. You are my life. You and Ransom, you’re my everything, my always.”
She really wished it was enough, his saying those words. But it wasn’t. Talk never would be. She wanted the everyday reality of his words, the practice, not the theory. She wanted him to show her what those words meant. “Stop telling me that.” Her voice came out shrill, echoed around them on the balcony and Keira had to squeeze her eyes shut, breathing slow to keep her temper from flaring. “Start showing me.”
Kona’s expression was one of helplessness, defeat. She hated that look. She hated even more that she’d put it on his beautiful face, but she had to get through to him. She couldn’t let how she felt slide, not again, not now.
The air around them dropped, as though the temperature was cooling, preparing for the winter months coming, but Keira thought the frigidness between them had nothing to do with the weather. She felt awkward, uncomfortable with Kona’s steely gaze on her, with him tightening his fingers into fists, then relaxing them as though he needed something to keep him distracted from the distance that seemed to loom between them.
“Do you… do you still want to do this?” His tone could have been a whisper, it almost was, and Keira jerked her attention back to his face, not liking how he wouldn’t look at her or how his voice cracked, as though even saying it tore him apart. “You… do you still want to marry me?”
He sounded so scared, so broken down by the day, by their fight. His voice shook and Keira thought he expected her to say no, to tell him she wanted to call the whole thing off.
She didn’t want to call anything off. No matter what he’d done, how he acted or neglected her, Keira couldn’t imagine not being with Kona, not sharing the rest of her life with him. It would be impossible. Head moving slow, a nod that she hoped told Kona she wanted to be his wife, and his fear vanished, brought him in front of her, his arms around her, picking her up, squeezing her until he relaxed when Keira circled her arms around his neck.
He held her, just like that, her feet off the floor, his hot breath over her arms, fingers up the fine fabric of her black dress, to the scoop that bared her back. She loved how he touched her, how he held her like she was precious. Right then, that’s how she felt—precious, cherished.
Arms tightening, Keira kissed his neck, rubbed her cheek against his skin. “Don’t lose me, Kona. Don’t let me fall into the background. That’s not where I want to be.”
He eased her down, returning her feet to the concrete floor, silent as he cupped her face between his hands. “Baby,” he said, voice raspy, shocked, “never… not ever.”
Wanting to break the intensity of his gaze, to settle the quick pound of her heart as Kona stepped close, Keira cleared her throat, fingering the soft fabric of his jacket with a tiny grin pulling her mouth up. “And the wedding planner?” She made sure she smiled, let an amused tone wobble her voice.
“Fired.”