More Than Good Enough(13)

“I’m kind of seeing someone,” I lied.

Michelle’s face crumpled. “God, Trenton. How long has this been going on?”

“Long enough.”

“So basically you cheated on me.” She was shouting now. A guy with a cast on his arm waddled past and stared at us.

“How is it ‘cheating’ if we’re not together anymore?”

“Did we ever really break up?” she asked. “Like, officially?”

“I’m making it official now.”

“You sure about that?”

“We’re done.”

She actually looked hurt. “I can take a hint.”

“I’m not hinting. I’m telling you. Let’s just be friends, okay? We never should’ve crossed that line. It was a total mistake.”

“Was it?”

Now I felt guilty all over again.

Why couldn’t I just make up my mind? I kept jumping back and forth, trying to decide. Was it really over? And to be totally honest, is that what I wanted?

“Unbelievable,” I said. “Look at you, acting all innocent.”

“What’s her name? Do I know this girl?” Michelle sounded desperate now. I almost felt sorry for her. The key word is “almost.”

“Her name’s Pippa.”

Oh shit. Where did that come from?

“So, if this is your girlfriend or whatever,” she said, “why are you flying solo?”

I snatched what was left of the blunt and flicked it away. “Actually, I should call her.”

“Yeah.” Michelle nodded. “You should.”

My hands trembled as I reached for the cell in my back pocket. Punched in the numbers. Held my breath.

“Nobody home?” Michelle was laughing at me, like always. Giving me that look. Waiting for me to fail.

The phone rang and rang. Finally, it clicked to voicemail. Pippa’s voice floated into my ear:

Leave your message at the beep.

My message.

“Um … ” I tried to think of something. “I’m at Churchill’s.”

Michelle was giggling like crazy. I’m sure she hoped Pippa would hear it, too. Everybody in whole damn parking lot could hear it, judging by their stares. My brilliant solution? Keep talking.

“Hey. What’s up, girl?” I mumbled into the phone, making sure to emphasize the final syllable, girl. “I’m about to dip. You still going out tonight?”

“That’s called stalking.” Michelle smirked.

“I’ll be in the back. You know. Near the patio area where they play old movies and stuff. Call me when you get here.” I shoved the phone in my pocket.

Michelle finally stopped giggling. “Do you really know this person? Sounded pretty casual. Not girl-friendy at all. More like a friend.”

“Can’t you be friends with your girlfriend?” That’s what I wanted to find out.

“You didn’t even say goodbye,” she added.

“I’m saying it now.”

“You’re what?”

“Goodbye, Michelle.” I couldn’t look at her. This was so much harder than I’d thought. My throat was stinging. I kept my gaze locked on Second Avenue, where a cop car had rolled up. Great. Just what I needed, a visit from the fake I.D. squad. I wasn’t going inside now.

As I walked away from the spinning lights, I felt a breeze of movement. Michelle lunged for my hat. She yanked it off my head and tossed it into the street, where it flopped like roadkill. I scooped it up and combed the ratty fur with my fingers, scraping off the dirt. Then I tugged it over my eyes.





five



Monday morning, I skipped class to hang out in the Hole—this empty lot next to campus. It wasn’t much of a hole. More like a slope where everybody spread out beach towels and pretended to study. It was a prime spot for other activities, too, judging by the Philly Blunt papers smashed in the dirt.

I really messed up last night. Big time. What the hell was I thinking? I kept flashing back to the crazy message I’d left on Pippa’s cell. I was so freaked out, I didn’t have the balls to show up for film class. Not the smartest move, because I was already falling behind.

School was background noise. I’d do anything to escape it. But whenever I was stuck at home with Dad, there was no escape. You could never tell what kind of mood he’d be in. And if he was drinking, like usual, I stayed away. Otherwise I’d get blasted with his dark energy.

God knows I had enough of my own.

Dark energy is this secret force in the universe. Basically, it’s everywhere, pushing stuff deeper into space. Sometimes when Dad was going off and I couldn’t sleep at night, I’d take a walk around the backyard and look up at the sky. I tried to imagine all those galaxies spinning farther away. The Everglades is so thick with stars, it feels like it couldn’t ever run out of light.

I decided that maybe I should try harder. At least, I owed it to Pippa. She didn’t deserve to fail this stupid class because of me.

When lunchtime finally rolled around, half the school was in line for the vending machines. Everybody took a long time, trying to decide which artificially flavored soda to waste money on. I couldn’t think about food. I had to talk to Pippa. That’s all I needed.