More Than Friends (Friends, #2)(54)

“You want me to order for you?” Jordan offers, his voice low and only for me to hear. “What looks good to you?”

There’s not one item with chicken in it, and that would’ve been my go-to. There’s some strange ravioli thing that sounds sweet and kind of odd. There’s also steak on the menu, but I’m not that crazy about red meat.

“I guess,” I finally say to him with a tiny shrug, keeping my gaze fixed on the menu. I’m feeling helpless and stupid, and that is one of the worst feelings in the world.

The server appears, a guy who’s not much older than we are, and his gaze fixes on Jordan like he knows exactly who he is. Which he just might. Jordan doesn’t acknowledge him in a friendly manner, though. He orders a goat cheese appetizer that makes me wrinkle my nose, and the waiter jots everything down before offering a dazzling smile and saying, “Your father is dining with us tonight.”

Jordan frowns at the server. “Are you talking to me?”

“Yes.” He bobs his head up and down in some strange display of manic behavior. “Perhaps you would like to join him?”

“Perhaps another time,” Jordan says coolly, glaring at the waiter until he finally slinks off.

“What the hell was that about?” Ryan asks once the server’s out of earshot. “I don’t think I’ve seen your dad ever.”

“You haven’t known him very long,” Liv says just before she turns to Jordan. “Though I haven’t seen your father much either, and I’ve known you for what feels like forever.”

She’s right. I’ve gone to school with Jordan Tuttle since the dawn of time and I’ve yet to see his dad materialize anywhere. Not at open houses or back to school nights. Not at evening plays or holiday programs. Not at any of his football games, not at honor roll assemblies, not at any of it.

“He’s out of town a lot,” Jordan says through clenched teeth. I see a tic in his firm jaw, his eyes so dark they almost look black. He’s angry. I can feel the emotion radiating off of his tense body in giant waves. “Not big on family time.”

I want to reach out and touch him, offer some comfort, but he looks like he might shatter if I so much as say something, let alone touch him.

The next few minutes are agony. Liv and I try to make small talk, but it’s uncomfortable. Ryan has completely checked out and focuses on his phone. Jordan sits as still as a statue, only his eyes scanning the room every few minutes, like he’s trying to prepare for that excruciating moment when his dad will pop out of the background and terrorize all of us.

When the waiter returns with our appetizer, Jordan places my order as well as his own, offering me a tight smile after he finishes. The moment the server dashes off, Liv is setting her napkin on the table and sending me a look.

“I need to use the ladies,” she sing-songs. “Want to come with, Amanda?”

Nodding, I push out of my chair and set the cloth napkin on my chair before I follow Livvy to the back of the restaurant, where the bathrooms are. The moment we slip inside, Livvy zooms over to the giant mirror, checking her reflection before pulling a MAC Lip Glass out of her tiny purse and applying the gloss to her lips.

“Your boy got super tense,” she says, her gaze meeting mine in the mirror.

I go to the spot next to her and wash my hands. “I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Clearly he has daddy issues.” The knowing look she sends me makes my blood simmer.

I don’t answer. Her comment is rude. She totally has daddy issues, so who is she to talk? Or judge?

Maybe going on a double date with Ryan and Livvy was a big mistake.





I wish I had a drink. No mixed drink either. I need something strong, straight up. I don’t care what kind of alcohol, I need something to take the edge off. Soften me up. Instead I’m tense as hell, clutching my water glass so tight I bet it could shatter if I squeezed just a little more tighter. Ryan is trying his best to make conversation with me, but my terse responses—or worse, lack of response—is crapping him right out. To the point he’d rather pay attention to his phone while we wait for the girls to come back from the restroom.

Talking about me, I’d bet. Wondering at my reaction. My over-the-top behavior. I can hear Livvy now, wondering why I’m so cranky. I can hear Amanda too, defending me, saying I must be upset.

She would be correct.

My father is here, in this very restaurant on a Saturday night, when he should be home with my mother. His wife. Meaning he’s in town, with someone else instead of coming home—something he does a lot. I haven’t seen him in weeks. And the last time we actually made real eye contact, he was on his way out of the house as I was walking in. When he caught sight of me, his eyebrows had risen and he’d appeared surprised. Like he forgot I even existed.

My biggest dream is to forget his existence, but it never works. The rat bastard always pops up in the most inconvenient places.

Like this stupid restaurant while I’m on this stupid double date, when I wish I could be at home alone with Amanda.

I think of her and she magically appears. I watch as she and Livvy make their way back to our table. Heads turn as both girls pass, and I clutch my right hand into a fist, feeling protective. Primitive. I never feel that way about anyone, least of all some girl.

But she’s not just some girl. She’s Amanda Winters. I’ve had a ridiculous crush on her for years. Not just for her beauty—and she’s pretty, don’t get me wrong—but it’s her mind that I’m attracted to. She’s smart. And funny. She makes me smile and she makes me think. She challenges me. Half the time I think she doesn’t like me and that is a fucking challenge like no other. These last few weeks we’ve spent a lot of time together, and I am determined to make her fall in love with me.