More Than Friends (Friends, #2)(17)

I try to cut him off, push him out of my life, yet he figures out how to worm his way back in every single time. It’s so annoying. And exhilarating. I want him close. I want him gone. I want to touch him. I want to shove him away.

Clearly I’m confused.

“I shouldn’t,” I protest, but Livvy drags me forward, surprisingly strong. I didn’t know she had it in her.

“Come on. Please?” She bats her eyelashes at me, and I laugh.

And I also give in. Because I’m weak and I want to see if Tuttle will wear that cropped jersey the boys like to put on when they practice on a warm day, his perfect, flat belly on display. Sometimes, at the end of practice, when it’s so hot and he’s worked so hard, there’s a light sheen of sweat on his skin that—oh my God—makes me want to rub myself all over his damp, warm body.

Yes, clearly I’ve turned into a cat in heat.

I try my best to push all thoughts of a sweaty Tuttle out of my head and focus on the other reason I’m hanging out with Livvy and watching the team practice. I can use this time to talk to Livvy about Em. Those girls have too much history between them for their friendship to fall apart so easily—and over a boy.

“What do you think of the homecoming nominations?” Livvy asks as we walk toward the football field.

“Not surprising.” The announcement had come the period after English, and I was glad I wasn’t with Tuttle, having to hear them say his name over the speaker. I bet he smirked and acted like it was no big deal while the rest of the class erupted in cheers. That’s how it always is with Tuttle.

“My win prediction is Tuttle and Lauren Mancini. Or—” Livvy’s nose wrinkles. “Or maybe even Brianne Brown. Ew.”

“Dustin’s date?” Oh, I’m mean, but I had to say it. She needs to remember Dustin’s already moved on and she supposedly has too.

“They’ve been hanging out together a lot this week. I see them everywhere,” Livvy says almost bitterly.

“At least he’s leaving you alone, right?” It’s so much easier to focus on her issues with Dustin rather than think about Tuttle being homecoming king and Lauren Mancini possibly as his queen. Ugh. They’re my prediction to win too, though I have to admit it. Those two are a perfect match.

Me and Tuttle? We are most definitely not.

Once we’re settled on the bleachers, the mid-afternoon sun shining down upon us and warming my skin since I finally took the hoodie off, I turn to Livvy and spill about my interactions with Emily.

“Wait a minute. You apologized to her?” Livvy shakes her head. “Why?”

“Because what I said to her was wrong. It bothered me all night. I had to tell her I was sorry.”

“You’re too nice.” She’s still shaking her head.

And maybe you’re not nice enough, I almost tell her, but I don’t. That’s opening up a whole new bag of trouble. “Don’t you miss your best friend? She misses you. She wanted me to tell you hi. From her.”

Livvy sighs, her gaze glued to the field. The boys are running through drills and I’m struggling not to seek out Tuttle. But of course I do. He’s like a magnet and I’m steel and I’ll be forever drawn to him.

What a depressing thought.

“I do miss her,” she finally admits, turning to look at me. “But after everything that’s happened, how can we get our friendship back?”

“It’s not like it’s gone forever,” I say gently. “You still talk to Dustin and he’s betrayed you just as much as Em has. Maybe even more so.”

Oh yes, I dared to go there. Livvy’s eyes flare and I see the anger. Is it anger at me for reminding her of Dustin’s part in all of this? She shouldn’t forget. Forgiving him is somehow easy, but forgiving Em isn’t?

“I’ve known him longer,” she murmurs. “It’s harder to let him go.”

Because she wants him, though she’d never admit it to me. She wants both boys, but that would never work. I’m not going to say that to her. She needs to figure it out on her own.

“It should be hard to let Em go, too, Liv. I think she’s suffering without your friendship.” Something tells me she’s been suffering for a while, and it has nothing to do with Livvy or Ryan or Dustin.

“I’m suffering too. We’re all suffering.”

“Then be the bigger person and make it better. Reach out to your friend. Tell her you miss her. Try your best to forgive her.”

“It’s not that easy.” Livvy frowns and I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look sadder. All the anger is gone. She just looks…defeated. “I’m scared,” she whispers. “Em knows all of my strengths and weaknesses. She knows how to hurt me with a look, a few chosen words, a deliberate move. And since I’ve come back home from my dad’s, she’s hurt me over and over, and she doesn’t seem to care. I don’t know if I can trust her again.”

“Then take it slow.” I nudge her side with my own. “Ease into it. But don’t just shut her out. I think she’s hurting more than she’ll ever admit.”

“Don’t forget how she tried to sabotage our relationships, Amanda. That photo she posted on Instagram was aimed at us. She’s jealous.” Liv shakes her head. “And she ratted me out to my mom about Ryan’s party. You might’ve not got in trouble, but I was grounded for a week! That’s all Em’s fault.”