Lost in the Never Woods(34)
If it weren’t so impossible, it would almost make sense. One of the last things Wendy remembered before the gaping hole in her memory was how, right before she and her brothers went missing, she had gotten into a fight with her father. He’d wanted her to move out of her shared room with her brothers and into her own room. He had told her that it was time for her to grow up and that she couldn’t keep playing make-believe with her brothers all the time.
Wendy remembered being so mad at her father. She knew he thought that was why they’d gone missing, that they had run away because he was splitting them up.
But what about Nana? She had run off into the woods and they had chased her. Wendy remembered that part.
“Having you come to Neverland was great,” Peter continued, quieter. Wendy was very aware of how close he was, the warmth of his hand wrapped around hers. “We went on adventures, you guys got to meet the other Lost Ones, and I got to listen to you tell stories all the time.” He gave her a weak smile, but it quickly faded. “But then a bunch of weird stuff started happening. First, it was just little things. The fairies started getting spooked—they wouldn’t come out and play with us at night anymore. They all hid in the trees. I tried to talk to them, but they wouldn’t tell me what was wrong, like they were too scared to or something.”
Wendy found herself nodding along.
“After you guys came to the island, all of a sudden it started to get harder for me to fly, which had never happened before. The longer you were there, the worse it got. It was like I couldn’t control it anymore. Then, one night, I woke up and my shadow was gone.”
He stopped. Clearly he was expecting some sort of big reaction from her, but Wendy didn’t say a word. She was too busy trying to comprehend it—the magic, the fairies, and Neverland.
When she didn’t respond, Peter sighed heavily. “There’s a reason shadows are supposed to be attached to people. They’re dark, wicked things,” he explained. “Not like fairies, who cause trouble because it’s fun. Shadows are made up of all the dark and bad parts of yourself. They feed off of bad thoughts—fear, worry, sadness, and guilt.” Peter dragged his teeth over his bottom lip. “When you start getting consumed by those feelings, it gives the shadow power over you. If it gets strong enough, it can run off and do terrible things. Especially my shadow,” he said. “And when mine got away, it started stealing lost kids.”
“But how can a shadow steal someone?” Wendy asked. “It’s just an absence of light!” Or something. Now that she thought about it, Wendy didn’t think she could concisely define what a shadow was. She’d never given it real thought.
“Well, yeah, your shadow couldn’t,” Peter told her. “All of you who live here, in this world, are lucky. Magic left this place so long ago that your shadows are weak and can’t escape. They can take over a normal person, though. Those dark thoughts can devour a person and take all of their happiness away. They want you to feel isolated and alone. It’s like they suck the energy out of you and leave you with nothing.”
Wendy thought of the years she spent crying at night, riddled with guilt and missing her brothers so much it was a physical ache. She thought of her father falling asleep at his desk with a bottle in his hand. Of her mother talking in her sleep.
“But my shadow?” Peter shook his head. “My whole existence is filled with magic. Neverland has kept it awake.”
“But what happened to me and my brothers?”
“When lost kids started disappearing, I realized it wasn’t safe for you to be in Neverland anymore, so I brought you back to your world.” Peter shifted back and forth. “I left you in the woods.”
“Just me?” said Wendy. “But what about my brothers? What happened to them?”
Peter spoke slowly, clearly thinking carefully about what words he spoke. “They couldn’t come back…” He trailed off.
“What—why?” If all this was true, and Peter had taken her back to protect her, then why hadn’t he brought her brothers back, too? A thought hit her. “The shadow? Did it kidnap them, like the other lost kids?” she asked.
Peter nodded silently.
“Then we have to get them back!” It wasn’t good news, but at least it was something she could work with. “Where did it take them?”
“I don’t know—I thought I would find them after I took you back,” Peter said, dismayed. “I thought if you returned to your world, maybe things would go back to normal, but it only got worse. I started growing up.” He visibly shivered. “I could feel the magic in me starting to drain away. I knew I needed to find my shadow—to stop it from taking kids and to get my magic back. I finally tracked it here. I think it was looking for you, since this all started happening when you came to Neverland.” Peter fixed her with a stare. “It’s the shadow that’s been kidnapping the kids in town,” Peter explained. “And I think it’s keeping them in the woods.”
The woods.
Even if it defied all logic—and physics, for that matter— it was still more of an answer to what had happened to her brothers than anyone else had given her.
“When you found me in the middle of the road, I had chased down my shadow. I almost caught it, but I couldn’t keep hold of it and I fell,” Peter told her.