Look Both Ways(41)

Part of me wants to tell her I overheard her conversation with Jessa in the bathroom, but that would be embarrassing for both of us. “Sorry. I was in a practice room,” I say. “There’s no reception down there. Let me change, and we can go, okay?”

“Okay.” Zoe smiles, a totally genuine smile, and it calms me down to see how excited she is for tonight. Honestly, even if she were using me to get closer to my mom, I’d probably let her.

We walk the five minutes to Main Street and find Spindrift, which is one of the three restaurants in town. The bistro turns out to be beautiful, all rough-hewn wood tables and tiny votive candles and chairs with swirly wrought-iron backs that are nicer to look at than lean on. Mom’s already there when we arrive, halfway into her first glass of wine. “My girls,” she says when she spots us. “Sit down. Get anything you want—appetizers, desserts, my treat.”

“Thank you so much for inviting me,” Zoe says as she settles into her chair, and my mom says, “Of course, my darling,” even though it was my idea.



“How were the non-eqs?” I ask.

“Oh, they were wonderful. No one topped you, though, Zoe. I was floored by what you did in class today.”

Zoe turns pink. “Wow, really? I mean, wow. Thank you.”

“When you get to New York, Brookie will give you my number, and we’ll arrange a little audition, okay? No promises, but if I end up having space for another student, I’d love to teach you. If that’s something you think you might want, of course.”

“Oh my God, yes. I can’t even—I mean—yes. Thank you. Thank you so much.” Zoe beams at me, and I smile back, but it almost hurts to do it. I can’t even tell if I’m more jealous that she has captured my mom’s heart so thoroughly or that my mom has captured hers.

“How’s Dad? And everyone else?” I interrupt.

“Everyone’s wonderful. Dad sends his love—he’s at Glimmerglass this week. Marisol’s due in three weeks—she’s absolutely enormous—and your uncle’s working on an absurd musical about online dating. It’s called Don’t Kiss Me, Kate. It’s going to be intolerable.”

“I think that sounds kind of hilarious,” I say, and Zoe stifles a laugh and nods halfheartedly, like she kind of wants to be on my side but also doesn’t want to contradict my mom. “Are you going to see it?”

“You could not pay me enough to sit through that.” My mom takes a giant gulp of her wine. “You haven’t said a thing about Birdie yet, Brookie; I need to know everything.”



I suddenly realize I never told Zoe to pretend I’m in Birdie with her; I have no idea what I’m going to do now. I look around wildly, hoping for something to divert my mom’s attention, and the waiter a couple of tables away catches my gaze and comes right over.

“Good evening,” he says, sliding a bread basket onto the table. “Do you ladies know what you’d like to eat?”

“I think we need another—” my mom begins, but I cut her off.

“Yes, I’ll have, um…” I haven’t even looked at the menu, but I order the first thing my eyes land on. “The baked polenta.”

Mom looks puzzled. “Since when do you like polenta?”

I’m not even completely sure what polenta is. “I thought I’d try it again,” I say.

Mom starts peppering the waiter with questions about how the various dishes are prepared, and Zoe gives me a look like, What is up with you? I reach for my phone to text her, but Mom decides on an entree and starts paying attention again. The waiter takes Zoe’s order and leaves.

My friend is clearly aware that I want her to do something, but she’s not sure what, so she just starts talking. “Birdie has been so much fun. Jim Krowalzka is directing—I don’t know if you know him—and I already feel like I’m learning so much. I don’t know if Brooklyn told you, but I’m playing Kim, which is a great part and everything, but she’s a little bit of a two-dimensional character, you know? But Jim’s helping me really round her out and figure out what her motivations are. And Brooklyn’s been helping me practice my songs. She’s such a talented pianist.” Even though she hasn’t guessed right about what I need from her, I love that she’s trying.



“Brookie, that’s so nice of you, but I hope you’re spending plenty of time working on your own music,” Mom says. “You’re here to grow as a performer, not as an accompanist.”

Zoe’s eyebrows crinkle. “Are there songs in Se?or—”

I cut her off before she can blow my cover. “Don’t worry. I’m concentrating on my own stuff, too. Zoe has a much bigger part than I do. The ensemble has a lot of downtime.”

My friend looks thoroughly confused for a second, and then I see understanding click into place behind her eyes. “Right,” she says. “They all sound really good, though.”

“Well, I’m bursting with excitement. Dad and I can’t wait to see you in your big Allerdale debut.”

“Great,” I say. I reach for the bread basket and stuff a roll into my mouth so I’ll have an excuse not to talk for a minute.

My mom leans in and lowers her voice. “So, tell me all the important gossip. Any budding romances in the works?”