Little Do We Know(93)

On Friday, Alyssa had to make up a test after school, but she promised to drive me home afterward. I was sitting at a picnic table, working on an essay for English class, when I looked up and found Aaron standing there.

“Hi,” he said. He looked cute. He was wearing jeans, flip-flops, and a plain white T-shirt. He had his baseball cap on as usual. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

I knew I couldn’t avoid this discussion forever. “Sure,” I said, tipping my chin toward the spot across from me. He sat.

I’d expected to be mad when I saw him again, but I wasn’t. Not anymore.

“Your dad told me I could find you here. I know you’re studying, and I don’t want to bother you or anything.” He shifted nervously. “I just wanted to tell you something. Actually, a few things.”

I closed my notebook and set my pen down.

“First, I’m sorry.”

I wasn’t sure why he was saying it. He’d already apologized to me. And to Luke.

“There’s no reason to apologize again.”

He shook his head. “Not for that. For…the rest of it. For kissing you. For kissing you while I was with Beth. I shouldn’t have done that. And…” He tipped his head back, eyes fixed on the sky, like it pained him to look at me. “Because you’re a student. And that was just so stupid of me.”

“I kissed you first,” I said plainly.

“Maybe.” He rested his elbow on the table and covered his face with his hand. “But still, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let it happen.”

I wanted to tell him that I didn’t regret any of it, but I had a feeling he did, so I kept that part to myself. “It’s okay.”

He leaned in closer, like he was telling me a secret. “I also wanted to tell you that I broke up with Beth this week.”

I hadn’t expected that. “You did?”

“I couldn’t stay with her once I figured out…” He paused, trying to decide how to finish his sentence. “That she wasn’t what I was looking for.”

I think he expected me to feel bad for him, but I didn’t. I felt bad for her. “Is she okay?” I asked.

“Beth?” he asked. When I nodded, he said, “Yeah. It was harder on both of us than I expected it to be, but…she’s tough. She’ll be okay.”

He didn’t seem to know what to say after that. He looked around at the trees, at the ground, at the table. He finally looked at me. “I also just wanted to tell you that…I really liked talking to you, Hannah. And I…” He trailed off and started tapping his fingers on the table nervously. I didn’t make him finish his sentence.

“I liked talking to you, too.”

“Good. So we can keep talking? As friends?” He smiled at me and held out his hand.

I shook it as I smiled back. “Yeah. Friends.”

Deep in my heart, I wanted to be more and it hurt my feelings that he didn’t want that, too. But my heart wasn’t in control anymore; my brain had a firm grip on the wheel.

I stood and started gathering my things. “I’d better go. I told Alyssa that I’d meet her in the parking lot.”

My instinct was to hug him, but that seemed weird given everything that had happened between us. And if I was being honest, I was a little afraid of what I’d do if I let myself get that close to him. My heart could have easily grabbed the wheel, shoved my brain to the backseat, and taken over.

“Get out of that man cave of yours,” I said over my shoulder as I walked away. “Make some more friends. Like, ones who aren’t moving to the East Coast in a few months.”



Alyssa was waiting by her car when I arrived.

“Where have you been?” She bounced on her toes, and I could tell she was excited about something. “I’ve been dying here!”

I checked the time on my phone. “Relax, I’m, like, two minutes late.”

“Whatever!” She bounced in place again. “I have news!”

How had she already heard that Aaron broke up with Beth? I kind of assumed he was telling me first, but apparently not.

“Man, word travels fast around here,” I said.

Alyssa shot me a look. “What are you talking about?”

Maybe she hadn’t heard.

“Nothing,” I said. “What’s your news?”

She shook her shoulders back and forth. “Kevin Anderson just asked me to prom.”

“He did? I didn’t even know you two knew each other.”

“We don’t really. But I ran into him in the hall the other day, and I told him how much I loved what he had to say in his testimonial. He seemed to appreciate the compliment, and we got to talking, and…I guess I made an impression.”

“Of course you did.”

She laughed as she opened the car door. I got in next to her. She turned the key in the ignition, backed out of the parking space, and drove away, down the narrow road, lined with roses and lavender bushes.

She cranked up the music and I rolled down the window. I stuck my head outside and closed my eyes, inhaling the scent of flowers and feeling the warm breeze on my face.

I’d planned to tell her about Aaron and me on the way home. But under the circumstances, I’d changed my mind. I didn’t think she needed to know.