Little Do We Know(58)

“Okay,” Aaron said as he pressed the record button. “We’re rolling, but no rush. And I’ll be editing this, so don’t worry about how it sounds. I’ll cut out any pauses, or anything you don’t like, so take your time.”

The room was so silent, I could hear myself breathe.

Luke looked right into the camera. “Hi. My name is Luke.”

I moved to the side so I could watch the real Luke and not the one on the tiny screen.

“To be honest, I’m not really sure why I’m doing this.” He shifted in place and looked up at me. “I feel like an idiot, Hannah.”

“You’re thinking about it way too much. Pretend you’re alone. It’s just you and the camera.”

Luke pointed to the first pew, where I sat every Monday morning next to Alyssa, Jack, and Logan. “Maybe it would be easier if I could see you.”

“Oh, okay.” I crossed the room and sat a few feet away, in front of him but out of the camera’s shot. He leaned back, resting his forearms against the stage, already looking a little more comfortable. He took a deep breath and blew it out hard.

“Hi,” he repeated. “My name is Luke. And, well, I died eleven days ago.” He laughed a little as he said it. “I was dead for three minutes. Three minutes probably doesn’t seem like a long time, but it is. Go ahead, set the timer on your phone for three minutes, and don’t do anything. Just sit there. I’ve done that myself about a hundred times since…” He trailed off. And then he shot me a questioning look.

“It’s good. I promise,” I said. “Keep going.”

“Maybe you could ask me something?”

There were hundreds of questions swirling around in my mind, but I wanted to start with something small, something easy, to help him build up to what exactly happened in those three minutes. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I was at a party. I left and got into my car, and as soon as I sat down behind the wheel, I felt this horrible pain in my left side, like I was being stabbed, but I kept driving. When I got to that stop sign by your house, I finally lifted my shirt and looked down. My whole left side was purple. In the dark, it almost looked black. And I felt like I was going to faint, so I punched the gas. All I could think about was getting across the street so I could park.”

I thought back to that night. How his car rolled to a stop, like no one was driving it. “What happened next?”

“I reached for my phone on the passenger seat, but it slid to the floor when I hit the gas. When I tried to reach for it again, I threw up. And then…I guess I passed out.”

I wrapped my hand around my cross pendant and squeezed until it hurt.

“I heard your voice. And then your dad’s voice. And then everything was gone.”

I rested my elbows on my knees and leaned in closer. I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

“Suddenly, I was in this stark white room, only it wasn’t a room. There were no walls. But I was standing on something solid, and I was up to my knees in this warm blue water.” He smiled at the memory. “It wasn’t just warm, it was like a bathtub. And it wasn’t just blue, it was more like the color of sapphires. And it glistened. It was thick, like honey, but it wasn’t sticky or anything. My legs were heavy, but I could move, and when I did, the water kind of molded to my skin, like it was wrapping itself around my legs. It sounds weird but it felt…comforting. Safe.

“I stood there and the water started rising and rising, first past my knees, and then past my waist, and up to my chest. I wasn’t afraid when it got to my chin; I somehow knew that I’d be able to breathe even when it covered my mouth and nose.

“And when it finally did, I opened my mouth and drank it in, and I could feel it slide down my throat and move into my stomach and out of my fingertips and down to my toes. And I felt…like…pure love. Love for my family, and everyone I’d ever known…” He rested his hand on his chest. “It was indescribable. It was as if my whole body was filled with pure love. I’ve never felt so much love before.” He’d drifted off somewhere else as he said it, and I assumed he was reliving that feeling. I didn’t expect to envy him, but I kind of did. I wanted to feel “pure love.” I wanted to experience something like that…something so overwhelming and indescribable and profound that there would no longer be any room left for all my questions and doubts.

Then Luke shook his head, bringing himself back to the room, and glanced over at me. He rolled his eyes. “See why I didn’t want to tell you this?”

I had goose bumps up and down my arms. “This is amazing. Keep talking.”

“I didn’t fight it. I didn’t want to. I closed my eyes and stretched my arms to my sides and let the water lift me off the ground. I floated around and laughed, because it was all so incredible. Just…perfect.” He smiled again.

“Could you see the surface?” I asked.

“Yeah. But I wasn’t trying to reach it. I was just floating and drinking in the water, and feeling it move though my body. It was so peaceful.” He closed his eyes, like he was bringing himself back there. “I felt like I floated that way for hours. And then I heard your voice.” He opened his eyes again and locked them on mine. “It wasn’t muffled by the water or anything. It came through so clearly.”