Little Do We Know(29)

Alyssa and I walked through the balcony, past the pews. Neither one of us said a word as we stepped down the narrow staircase, across the atrium, and through the double doors. Outside, it was dark and cold. The wind felt good on my cheeks.

“Okay, what was that?” Alyssa asked once we were a safe distance from the sanctuary.

My heart started racing again. She’d noticed.

I played dumb anyway. “What was what?”

She pressed the button on the key fob and her car doors unlocked. “You know what I mean! With Aaron!” We both climbed inside and buckled up, and then she shot me a look I couldn’t read.

“What about him?”

She turned the key in the ignition and backed out of the parking space. “Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you didn’t catch that! Didn’t you hear what he said about Beth?”

My breath left my body like air from a popped balloon, all at once.

“‘We’re talking about getting engaged’?” she said. “‘Our parents are friends. I’ve known her all my life.’ He made it sound like an arranged marriage or something.”

“Yeah, that was weird.” I tucked my hands under my legs, trying to get them to settle down.

“Weird, but good-weird!” She slapped her hand on the steering wheel. “He’s not going back to Houston until June, so that gives me a little over two months.” She shot me a cocky grin. “I’m pulling out all the stops now, and I have you to thank.”

“What did I do?”

“You let me crash your date,” she said. She patted my leg. “I swear, you’ve always been the best wingwoman.”



That night, I sat in bed with my laptop open in front of me, toggling between ten different windows I’d opened after I’d typed the word afterlife into a Google search engine an hour earlier.

I’d read a few short pieces from familiar newspapers and scanned interviews with some of the world’s leading scientists, doctors, and spiritual leaders. I’d opened a bunch of in-depth articles specific to religious beliefs, and I’d even found an at-a-glance chart that showed how each faith viewed the afterlife. I was about to click on another link, when I heard a noise outside.

I tossed my laptop onto my comforter and climbed out from under the covers. I pulled my curtain to one side.

Emory must have just shut her window, because she was still standing there, looking out, like she was waiting for someone.

It was Friday. It was almost midnight. That meant Luke would be hiding in the rosebushes next to my house any minute now.

My phone vibrated on my nightstand and I jumped. I picked it up and read the screen.

Aaron: Look what we did…

We. Again.

I clicked on the attachment and pressed PLAY. The adjustments he’d made were minor, but important. He’d moved some pictures in the montage around so they synched with the background music even better, and he’d shortened a few of the clips so the whole thing moved a little faster. I’d loved it back in the sound booth earlier, but I loved this one even more.

I texted him back. It’s more amazing! Dad’s going to love it.

Thanks, he replied. I hope so.

I didn’t know what to say next. All I could think about was the way I put my hand on his leg. Part of me felt like I should explain, but I didn’t know how to, so I tried to explain Alyssa’s actions instead.

Sorry about the way Alyssa put you on the spot about Beth, I typed. That was kind of uncool.

There was a long pause. Then the three dots flashed on the screen, and I knew he was replying.

Aaron: It’s okay.

Aaron: I didn’t mean to shut her down.

Aaron: It’s just that Beth and I are a complicated story.

I wanted to hear it. I wanted to keep texting with him. I thought about Alyssa and felt guilty. And then I thought about his girlfriend and felt even guiltier. But I texted him back anyway.

Hannah: I’m not at all sleepy…

Aaron:

Those three dots showed up on the screen again.

Aaron: She wants to get married.

Aaron: We were going to get engaged over Christmas, but then I took this job, so we decided to hold off

Hannah: What about you? Do you want to get married?

My whole body felt buzzy and caffeinated. I paced back and forth as I typed. And then I went back to the window and looked down, half expecting to see Luke there. But it was quiet outside.

Aaron: Eventually. Sure. We’ve been together since tenth grade.

He’d said that in the sound booth, too, but I didn’t understand why that was so important.

I decided to get some water. I opened my door as quietly as I could. The house was dark and silent, so I tiptoed into the hall, typing as I walked. I was feeling red.

Hannah: That doesn’t answer my question.

In the kitchen, I took a glass out of the cabinet, filled it with water from the sink, and downed it in two gulps. I rested the phone on the counter and watched the screen. My heart started racing as I waited for those three dots to appear again.

I was refilling my glass when his next text appeared.

Aaron: Truth?

Hannah: Yes, please.

I didn’t move. I kept my gaze fixed on my phone. Aaron answered almost immediately.

Aaron: No.

Aaron: I’m nowhere near ready.

Aaron: I’m not sure why she thinks she is, or that we are.