Lies You Never Told Me(55)

“Oh no?” she sneers. “Let me guess. You’re in love. He’s different. He’s not like other guys.”

I cross my arms over my chest and stare defiantly back at her. “You don’t even know him.”

She snorts. “He’s twice your age. That’s all I need to know.”

“Why does that even matter?” I ask. The dread of a moment ago has been replaced with a slowly mounting anger.

Her nostrils flare. “What does it matter? You’re a kid, Elyse. He’s taking advantage of you.”

“I’m not stupid. And I haven’t been a kid in a long time,” I hiss. “I’ve been taking care of myself since I was six, Mom. Six. I’ve been feeding myself, paying my own bills, getting to and from school. Getting you to rehab, how many times now? I never had the luxury of being a kid. So forgive me if I find your sudden concern a little hypocritical.”

Brynn cowers on the couch as Mom and I inch toward each other.

“Yeah, I’ve been a shitty mom. Why do you think this makes me so mad? You want to turn out like me? Stuck in a dead-end job, in a cheap little apartment, pregnant at seventeen? I’m trying to keep you from the same bad decisions I made,” she says.

“There’s no way I’ll turn out like you, because I’m not a fucking junkie!” I shout. I’m beyond caring if I hurt her. I stare up at her, the world red-tinged, my hands balled into fists.

She swells up, and I think she’s about to hit me. She’s never hit me before. My body goes rigid in anticipation. But she just takes a deep breath. When she speaks again, her voice is softer.

“You’re not to see him again, Elyse,” she says.

I laugh scornfully. “Who’s going to stop me?”

“I will.” She puts her hands on her hips, then lets them fall to her sides self-consciously. “If you go back to him, I’ll tell the school. He’ll be done.”

I suck in my breath. “You can’t.”

“I will.” She’s shaking with the effort of staying calm. “Even if it destroys our relationship. Even if you hate me forever. I’ll do it to save you.”

A scream rises in my chest. I force it down. My body’s rigid with fury. I stalk to my bedroom and pause in the doorway.

“We don’t have a relationship.” I turn to look at Brynn. For the first time in her life, she’s trying to be invisible. “And you. We’re done. I never want to see you again.”

I turn away from them both, and slam the door behind me.





THIRTY-ONE


    Gabe




“I can’t believe Sasha’s gonna get away with this,” Caleb says in a choked voice, after exhaling a long stream of smoke. He leans back and hands me the joint with the other.

“She always does,” I say, my voice flat. I take a deep drag. I can feel the smoke moving through my chest, loosening the tight, anxious knots.

It’s Friday, four days after the breakup. I’ve been drifting, numb. Going through the motions. Caleb, Irene, and I are sitting under one of the abandoned off-ramps that no longer connects to the highway, our skateboards at our sides. They dragged me here after school, trying to wake me out of my funk, but I mostly just watched them glide up and down the concrete. It was hard to imagine my body, heavy and slow, moving that effortlessly through space. Now it’s getting dark, a chill cutting into the air.

“You hear from Catherine at all?” Irene asks, barely looking up from the sketchbook on her knee—she’s planning a new midnight installment, something with a pin-up girl in a helmet straddling a rocket ship.

“Nope.” I try to sound brisk, but my voice cracks. Catherine hasn’t been at school since Tuesday. I feel her absence everywhere, a weird gap in the crowds, a dense and heavy feeling to the air in certain hallways. I’ve texted her half a dozen times, trying to find out if she’s okay.

Hey, I’m not trying to harass you but I’m worried, you ok? Just answer y or n and I’ll leave you alone.

Your dad hasn’t hurt you, has he?

I miss you so much.

She never answers me.

Irene shakes her head. “We should do something. Figure out some way to get back at Sasha.”

“No,” I say quickly. “It’s over, okay? She’s already ruined everything. And I don’t want to escalate shit any more. Someone’s gonna get hurt.”

She grimaces. “That’s exactly why we should take her down.”

I rest my forehead against my knees. I would love nothing better than to plan some elaborate comeuppance—to expose her, to show the world Sasha’s true face. But I keep thinking about Catherine’s terrified expression; about Vivi, trustingly following Sasha wherever she goes. I can’t risk it.

“I’m sorry, man,” Caleb says. “I really liked Catherine. She’s a sweet girl.”

“Yeah,” Irene says. “This sucks.”

I sigh, biting back a snarky reply. Understatement of the year, guys.

Suddenly, I can’t stand it anymore. I pick up my skateboard. “I gotta get home. I promised Vivi we’d play board games tonight, and I gotta clear my head before I can manage that.”

“Dude, the only way to play Candy Land is while stoned,” Irene says.