Last Night at the Telegraph Club(31)

“I’m heading home,” Kath said.

Shirley said nothing.

Lily wanted to say a dozen different things, but the only thing she could say was “Have a good night.” And then she turned away from Kath and walked toward Shirley, who started to go back up the stairs. Lily heard the exterior doors open and close as Kath left, and felt a breath of cold air on her legs.

Shirley paused outside the gym doors and turned back so that she was a couple of steps above Lily. “Before we go back in, I should warn you about Kathleen Miller,” Shirley said.

“Warn me?” Lily said, startled.

Shirley crossed her arms, looking down her nose at Lily. “You shouldn’t get involved with her.”

“What do you mean?”

Shirley came down one step so that they were only a foot apart and said in a low voice, “Don’t you remember what happened with Kathleen’s friend, Jean Warnock?”

Lily shook her head uneasily. “What about her?”

Shirley cast a glance behind her at the doors, which remained closed, and then looked back at Lily. “Jean’s queer. You don’t remember? Somebody caught her in the band room last year with—” Here Shirley grimaced in distaste. “With another girl.”

Lily’s skin prickled. “I never heard that,” she said neutrally.

“Honestly, sometimes I think you pay no attention to anything except your math homework and your space books.” Shirley gave her a funny look—half motherly, half exasperated.

The criticism flew past Lily; all she could think about was the fact that Shirley knew about Jean. And then she remembered what she had half-forgotten about Calvin, who had been in Jean’s class. The scandal. His junior year, he had started going steady with a girl (Lily couldn’t remember her name), which was unusual enough for a Chinatown kid, but it could have been tolerated if it had been kept under the table. The scandal had been that she wasn’t Chinese—she was Negro—and they’d been discovered together in Calvin’s car after a dance.

Shirley was still talking. “So you should stay away from Kathleen Miller. You don’t want those rumors near you.”

Lily took a step up so she was on Shirley’s level. “Did Calvin tell you about Jean?” Lily asked.

Shirley’s eyebrows drew together. “What? It doesn’t matter who told me about it. It only matters that you understand how important this is. You can’t be associated with people like that.”

Lily didn’t respond. She felt strangely disconnected from the moment, and yet she had never been so aware of the way Shirley’s forehead wrinkled when she was upset. Two little Vs had formed between her eyebrows, as if to point comically down her nose.

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll make up with Will,” Shirley continued. “I talked to him earlier and he’s willing to dance with you. It would be a good idea—just in case anyone else saw you with Kathleen.”

“I don’t want to dance with him, and I wish you wouldn’t talk to him about me,” Lily said coolly. “And there’s nothing wrong with Kath.”

“‘Kath’?” Shirley said with the edge of a sneer in her voice. “Do you even hear yourself? Do you want people to think you’re friends with her?”

“Why not?” Lily asked.

Shirley looked genuinely shocked. “I just told you why. I’m trying to do you a favor.”

Lily knew she was about to make a mistake, but she felt a recklessness taking hold of her. “I don’t want any favors,” she said curtly.

Shirley looked stunned. “Well,” she said, but she didn’t continue.

Lily couldn’t take the words back. She wouldn’t. The gym doors banged open, and a group of Caucasian students surged out—several couples arm in arm, the girls giggling. Lily and Shirley didn’t know them well, and they stepped aside to let them pass. The band started playing “I’ll Be True,” and Lily was sure that everyone would be heading to the dance floor, but she and Shirley didn’t move. She wondered if the two of them would stand there facing each other forever, each unwilling to yield, but at last Shirley gave a tiny shake of her head as if she were disappointed in Lily and went up to the gym doors.

“Are you coming?” Shirley asked.

Lily knew that if she didn’t, there would be consequences. Shirley had said as much, hadn’t she? Jean’s queerness was contagious, like a cold, and it could be transmitted through Kath to Lily by nothing more than rumor.

“No,” Lily said.

As soon as she spoke the word, a panic went through her—she shouldn’t have said that—but Shirley was already opening the door and going back in. The door slammed shut behind her.

Lily took a shaky breath. There was nothing for her to do but go home, so she went to get her jacket from the girls’ locker room, and left. Outside the gym she almost expected Kath to be waiting for her, but the street was empty. Only the fog moved across the pavement, silent and disembodied as a ghost.





16





On Monday morning, Lily and Eddie walked to the intersection of Washington and Grant as usual, but Shirley wasn’t there to meet them. Instead Flora stood on the corner, flushed with self-importance.

All weekend, Lily had wondered how exactly Shirley would punish her for leaving the dance early. She hadn’t seen Shirley at church on Sunday, and Shirley hadn’t phoned to discuss the dance the way she normally would have. Lily had known that Shirley would do something, but she hadn’t expected this.